This happens to me every so often and it happened again today. What would you do?
I am a PACU nurse and we do computer charting. After the patient arrives and gets hooked up to monitors, I make an initial assessment, check breathing, dressing etc. then I sit down literally inches from the stretcher and start charting. Today the patient woke up and asked "Can I hold your hand?" I have done this before and here's what happens. Sometimes they can grip you pretty hard (I have arthritis in my hands) or scratch you with fingernails but it's not life-threatening. Some will want to hold your hand for a loooooong time. What makes me hesitate is, I can't get anything done. I can't chart, can't check orders, can't call for a room assignment. I'm trapped!
It sounds so heartless to turn them down but we really are pushed to get 'em out and and get another one. Before, I could hold their hand with one of mine and write with the other but the computer program we have requires we use both keyboard and mouse so it takes two hands.
Suggestions? Funny/witty excuses? Get a fake hand? What were YOU thinking this thread was about?
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I'm really surprised by some of the responses. It would never cross my mind that a patient waking up in PACU would use asking for a hand-hold as a form of manipulation. Now, "sit here and hold my hand for 15 minutes" is entirely different, but asking for a nurse to hold your hand for a minute is not something I see as out of line. I see it as a form of reassurance and re-orientation when waking up from anesthesia and really, just a part of our job as a nurse.
I get that paperwork and moving people along are important, but when did they become more important than basic human compassion?
As far as "basic human compassion" -- I'm not talking about folks who would be satisfied with a 30 second hand hold -- I'm often running into the ones who demand that you sit by their bedside and hold their hand "all night" or "until my wife gets here". And we're each talking about our own specialty, I think, not all talking about a patient waking up in PACU. Holding someone's hand all night is not a part of nursing anymore -- we just don't have the time.
......Personally, I'm a forehead kisser as well as a hug-er, but that doesn't work for everyone, LOL.
Yes! I do this too. Not a lot, but on selective occasions.
For handholding, I found that if I cushion one of their hands between my TWO, I have the control. I 'sandwich' their hand, pat it and then let go after a few seconds.
Human touch is something humans need. It is calming at times.
But I guess that those of you who have been grabbed by the 'vise grip' have the squeezed digits to show for it.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I don't hold hands, give massages, or hugs. It's a good thing that it's not required to be a nurse. Preferred maybe, but not required.
The few times I've bowed to pressure from the patient, I've felt ....yukky.
Just thinking about it makes me grimace. Yuk.
I reserve physical expressions of love, caring, and sympathy, for members of my family.
Ah, the massages.
Years ago, that was part of PM care. The backrub, the tuck in. I don't do that anymore, either. But what really creeps me out is the demands to "scratch my back", or even worse, "Scratch my butt hole."
A few months ago a fully alert and oriented "VIP" latched on to me so that I would listen to his stories, and he would not let go. The next day my arm was bruised. When it gets to the point that a patient thinks that he can use force and intimidation to have me hold his hand, I'm over it.
You never know who is going to twist your wrist, crush your fingers or pull at your arm. I am not giving them a chance to take their frustrations out on me, not any more.
I have seen some extreme violence by patients with emergence delirium and I don't get take any chances with that either.
I recently had a minor procedure, and when I woke up I was totally not myself. Sobbing uncontrollably, totally freaked out, and I asked the nurse if I could hold her hand. I have no idea how long it was, but she kindly agreed, it felt like quite a while, and then did exactly as many of you said "okay fetch, I need to get some work done, but I'm going to be right over there and your wife is still here, okay?" YUP even though my wife was there and holding my hand, I still asked the nurse as well! It was bizarre, I am usually much more a "pat the shoulders" type person. (And later my wife told me, the nurse really only held my hand about 10 seconds, but in the moment it felt like I was being grounded back to myself and it felt much longer.)
Short of it is, I now appreciate more why someone would ask, but I can definitely understand if you aren't comfortable with it. And if you are able to, even just a few seconds really is comforting.
In my practice as a school nurse, I keep a few stuffed animals on hand so if a child gets scared, they can squeeze away while I clean out their boo-boo. And then a high-five after for being so brave!
icuRNmaggie, BSN, RN
1,970 Posts
Former PACU nurse here. I would make up something about keeping the hands warm and keeping the Sp02 on.
That is how much I hate someone grabbing at me. I don't think it is my job to soothe an adult like you would a toddler.
The awake adult patient's demand to latch on to a PACU nurse is just domination and subtle intimidation and really quite creepy.