This happens to me every so often and it happened again today. What would you do?
I am a PACU nurse and we do computer charting. After the patient arrives and gets hooked up to monitors, I make an initial assessment, check breathing, dressing etc. then I sit down literally inches from the stretcher and start charting. Today the patient woke up and asked "Can I hold your hand?" I have done this before and here's what happens. Sometimes they can grip you pretty hard (I have arthritis in my hands) or scratch you with fingernails but it's not life-threatening. Some will want to hold your hand for a loooooong time. What makes me hesitate is, I can't get anything done. I can't chart, can't check orders, can't call for a room assignment. I'm trapped!
It sounds so heartless to turn them down but we really are pushed to get 'em out and and get another one. Before, I could hold their hand with one of mine and write with the other but the computer program we have requires we use both keyboard and mouse so it takes two hands.
Suggestions? Funny/witty excuses? Get a fake hand? What were YOU thinking this thread was about?
Hold hand for 5 seconds, then let go - sometimes I'll pat or rub arm for a second as I do it and smile. Adjust their pillow or blanket. Offer a warm blanket. Or say I'll be right back, I'm going to check your orders but I am right here for you, etc... Make up whatever comes to mind, they won't remember.
I recently had a minor procedure. I knew the nurse who was there when I woke up, we had previously worked together. I am not at all a touchy feels person. But waking up from anesthesia is weird, and I was so grateful for that grounding comfort. Before this experience I would have suggested the hold for a few seconds then remove. Now I'm all for hold their hand if they need it. Waking up can be strange and scary.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Get a folded blanket or towel, have the pt hold that and cough and deep breathe.
Unless the patient is dying or in extreme distress, I am not going to be manipulated into holding hands.
I, too have arthritis in my hands and I'm not going to get manipulated into holding hands. If the family is there, that's what they're for and I've gone so far as to wake them up for handholding duty. If there is no family, I might hold their shoulder for a moment (or their hand if I think it safe enough that they won't squeeze mine), but only for a moment. Then we cough and deep breathe or at least talk about coughing and deep breathing.
I learned long ago that offering the wrong patient your hand is a sure way to get injured.
Let them hold your hand for as long as you can, comfort them and then say something like "I would so much rather stay here and hold your hand, but I need both of them to do xyz" Then, promise you'll check on them or, if you can chart next to them that works too.
Personally, I'm a forehead kisser as well as a hug-er, but that doesn't work for everyone, LOL.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
I feel sad for the ones who responded that they wouldn't 'be manipulated' into holding a patient's hand for a moment. Sometimes a request is simply a request, and not a patient being manipulative. At a certain point in time we can tell the manipulators from the sincere, but, jeeezzzz..
I agree with the others who said that a brief hand-hold or a touch on their shoulder or arm, followed by an kind explanation of why they can't stay with the patient would suffice.
Phew just reading this made me uncomfortable, my personal space bubble is GIANT! I also found it highly entertaining because I just recently start a job in PACU (in January) and fortunately, have not had anyone request this from me! (although I have gotten "may I have this dance?" by many an awakening gentleman!)
I have on rare occasions offered my hand for holding purposes during "scary" or uncomfortable procedures when I worked in Emerge, so I don't think I could flat out refuse. I think I'd allow a brief hand squeeze and then bow out graciously (like a ninja) with some sort of joke ("welllll as nice as this is ... I need both hands to do my work!") and a smile (all the while thinking "aaahhh please stop touching me").
I'm really surprised by some of the responses. It would never cross my mind that a patient waking up in PACU would use asking for a hand-hold as a form of manipulation. Now, "sit here and hold my hand for 15 minutes" is entirely different, but asking for a nurse to hold your hand for a minute is not something I see as out of line. I see it as a form of reassurance and re-orientation when waking up from anesthesia and really, just a part of our job as a nurse.
I get that paperwork and moving people along are important, but when did they become more important than basic human compassion?
I am tired of stuck up entitled rich people who latch on to me and refuse to let go. It's controlling, aggressive and degrading . They are alert oriented and behaving like an infant. Critical Care nurse does not mean private duty nurse or captive audience. I do not want listen to them ramble about their real estate empire. I am not impressed. I am not interested in visiting them or taking care of them for free in their home. I know that their bathroom habits are gross, they have rashes, one even had Norwegian scabies and dirty hands and nails. Another nutty professor had long hair and head lice. So no thank you. I am not interested in holding your hand and being your personal servant. Here's your walker and you can grab on to that.
Phew just reading this made me uncomfortable, my personal space bubble is GIANT! I also found it highly entertaining because I just recently start a job in PACU (in January) and fortunately, have not had anyone request this from me! (although I have gotten "may I have this dance?" by many an awakening gentleman!)
I have on rare occasions offered my hand for holding purposes during "scary" or uncomfortable procedures when I worked in Emerge, so I don't think I could flat out refuse. I think I'd allow a brief hand squeeze and then bow out graciously (like a ninja) with some sort of joke ("welllll as nice as this is ... I need both hands to do my work!") and a smile (all the while thinking "aaahhh please stop touching me").
There is a bit of that last part in me, too. I prefer a personal distance from my patients as I am with them at a very vulnerable time. I see them with drool coming out the side of their mouth, body parts exposed, no teeth and bed-head. I want them to see me as the professional nurse attending to their needs: orientation, safety, pain medication, warm blanket or emesis basin. I am totally their champion but not their friend. I have a very definite personal space that I constantly have to violate to do my job properly so I get extra uncomfortable when the touching goes on too long.
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
Here is my perspective:
I am tired of stuck up entitled rich people who latch on to me and refuse to let go. It's controlling, aggressive and degrading . They are alert oriented and behaving like an infant. I am not here to be their private duty nurse or captive audience and listen to them ramble about their real estate empire. I am not impressed. I am not interested in visiting them or taking care of them for free in their home. I know that their bathroom habits are gross, they have rashes, one even had Norwegian scabies and dirty hands and nails. So no thank you. I am not interested in holding your hand and being your personal servant. Here's your walker and you can grab on to that.
YIKES! If that's the way the patients treat you, I wouldn't be interested in them, either.But I think we are talking about coming-to after surgery or a brief moment with a frightened patient.
I'm really surprised by some of the responses. It would never cross my mind that a patient waking up in PACU would use asking for a hand-hold as a form of manipulation. Now, "sit here and hold my hand for 15 minutes" is entirely different, but asking for a nurse to hold your hand for a minute is not something I see as out of line. I see it as a form of reassurance and re-orientation when waking up from anesthesia and really, just a part of our job as a nurse.
I get that paperwork and moving people along are important, but when did they become more important than basic human compassion?
Oh, it's not about lack of compassion for a minute or two when they first wake up, it's the "latching on" like they own you and can't share you with the rest of the world. I truly am just inches away, sitting down and not going anywhere. Just trying to get the dang paperwork done.
wanderlust99
793 Posts
Hold hand for 5 seconds, then let go - sometimes I'll pat or rub arm for a second as I do it and smile. Adjust their pillow or blanket. Offer a warm blanket. Or say I'll be right back, I'm going to check your orders but I am right here for you, etc... Make up whatever comes to mind, they won't remember.