HELP! Threats to call BON!

Posted
by Nechic01 Nechic01 (New) New

You are reading page 3 of HELP! Threats to call BON!. If you want to start from the beginning Go to First Page.

AliNajaCat

AliNajaCat

1,035 Posts

"Investigated" is not the same as "...and found to be a bad person." If you were investigated for felonious conduct (yours) or drugs or being drunk at work, yes, you would have to say so. You can also say, "I evicted a tenant and he threatened me by saying he'd report me to the BON, but they told me to forget it and nothing came of it." The hospital might call the BON to be sure, but they have ways of accessing the BON decisions (in our state, they're all published in the BON newsletter that goes to all RNs) and if you're not in it or in the obits, you're good to go.:)

tara07733

tara07733

102 Posts

I vote you do a bit of online background checking on Mr. Wonderful.

I'll be shocked if you don't find something to leverage against his threats.

This guy sounds like a practiced menace, and you need to be prepared to respond in-kind.

I absolutely agree with this advice.

Nechic01

Nechic01

12 Posts

Agreed...Did one. It pulled up stuff alright...Bankruptcies, judgements of liens, 10+ addresses, 10 traffic tickets and the kicker....and "imposter" name it showed was linked to him. This was just some background search engine you pay for. Who knows what else is probably out there on him. NEVER in a million years would my mind have imagined this. All of this could have been avoided if I would have done this first. I am so angry at myself and I feel so much guilt and embarassment. The what-ifs are rolodexing through my mind like some Stephen King novel. I'm one of those work-a-holic type nurses that just never stops. My patient population is mainly chronic non-complaint people and I'm so used to being verbally abused at work on a daily basis by patients that you develope a shell. You almost have to in order to survive. I think I was just so busy and focused on paying for school, bills and finals that I didn't remember my comfort mattered too. Nursing becomes engrained in your soul...you take care of everyone else so much that you don't notice when you aren't taking care of yourself. I should've taken better care of myself. I'm still not sleeping at night over any little noise I hear. Everyones words of advice have really helped. I can't thank everyone enough for posting. I just can't bring myself to tell those around me because I'm so embarassed and feel so responsible.

Beldar_the_Cenobite

Beldar_the_Cenobite, CNA

Has 4 years experience. 470 Posts

I've heard of crazy stories like these. There was one state, I think it was New York, an old lady allowed a man to live with her for some reason and eventually he started using her. She got sick of it and took action. Police told her that she has to give him 6 months to move out providing she has a court order to evict him. Kicking out people like this is a lot tougher than you think. Why I don't know. Without legal documentation they told her she has no right to kick him out. Thank the scientists and the other people who helped build the computer and the internet decades ago for it to evolve so we can find background check on people. Without it, you'd be screwed and probably dead.

I would visit a lawyer first, pro-bono if you are that hurt for money, and look into what you can do. If you know if he leaves, you could move your stuff out and not pay anymore of the houses bills and they'll be left for him...then again, you probably owe on that house and wouldn't want to leave what you're paying to a squatter. If it was me in this situation, I'd shoot him with a .45 but BON wouldn't like that.:madface:

I hope to never have to deal with a worthless low life cowardly scum like this. If I ask you to leave, be kind and do what i ask, I'll give you a month to move out. Refuse because "I have rights and I'm entitled" attitude, I'd rather physically move them out.

Teresag_CNS

Specializes in ICU, trauma, gerontology, wounds. Has 34 years experience. 3 Articles; 194 Posts

Speak directly with your board of nursing. Tell them what's happening. He is probably making empty threats, but if you contact the BON first, you're much less likely to appear guilty. Tell them the facts and ask for advice. Also, your state nursing association (if you're a member) may have a service that gives you a short free lawyer consultation. Mine does. Ask them. And best wishes to you.

This shouln't happen to anyone.

Beldar_the_Cenobite

Beldar_the_Cenobite, CNA

Has 4 years experience. 470 Posts

The BON here in Nevada has a motto:"To protect the public". Their motto isn't to protect criminals/juvenile delinquent cowards. Why would they believe him over you? If you explained your story "I'm trying to save money, I'm trying to further my career, I pay my bills on time I try, and I show up to work and provide care for my patients, I love my job, I trusted this low life wastrel" what makes you think the court/BON wouldn't buy your story over his? He's a cook right? A low life dirt bag with a hefty background. I understand "some people who have made mistakes in the past want a second chance" and that's fair, but to not do what you were asked? Or not do your part of the bargain? NO, no shelter for that mess.

Beldar_the_Cenobite

Beldar_the_Cenobite, CNA

Has 4 years experience. 470 Posts

Oh yeah, for the future since your issue seems to be resolved, the next time anyone ever threatens you like that again "I'll notify the BON that you come to work drunk" just tell them it's against your religion to drink or that you have a health issue with alcohol. They can't say **** about that. That would be like some kid saying I banged your mother, then say my mother passed away, then they'd start feeling bad. Don't give fuel to the fire. Counter act their shots fired.

What I would like to know is how the guy knew about reporting nurses to the BON. I wouldn't let anyone know that is possible because I don't want them to call me and say we were told you play with the children patients in an inappropriate way somewhere in the clinic. We want to know what's going on or else we'll prosecute you. I would have been like I don't have any idea what you're talking about. Just the idea of having to go through that mess sounds like a headache.

CrunchRN, ADN, RN

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health. Has 25 years experience. 4,437 Posts

Threaten to get him fired if he does anything.

OrganizedChaos, LVN

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab. Has 10 years experience. 1 Article; 6,883 Posts

I hope you have changed the locks at your house. That guy sounds like a super creep! Unless there was a history of those reports to the BON, I'm sure they won't think twice about it.

I've had two of my ex's crazy ex's reported me to the BON, or at least they said they did. I have no issues with my license.

Please protect yourself. He may have left your house but that doesn't mean he won't be back.

MarisL

MarisL

15 Posts

" My patient population is mainly chronic non-complaint people and I'm so used to being verbally abused at work on a daily basis by patients that you develop a shell. You almost have to in order to survive. "

Yes, that happens. More readily to those who truly care. We get such a mix of patients. Most manage to be civil even though they are hurting, ill and frightened. Some others have made a lifestyle of being abusive to anyone they can be.

If a nurse is overtired, over stressed, or financially pressured, it can all challenge your compass and perception of yourself. I've seen nurses lose the knowledge that they are caring, giving, special people who deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated well.

Whatever happened in the "choosing a room mate" or "following up on overdue rent" part of your life is done. Berating yourself even in the slightest for being caring and giving outside the hospital as well as in, misses the point. Which is: allowing someone to live in your home requires careful screening, and even then can go wrong. None of us is born knowing that.

This ex-roommate will do what he will do. That is out of your hands. You do have control over yourself. Protect yourself: Change the locks, add new locks, add an inexpensive alarm that lets you know when some one enters your home ....whatever it takes for you to feel safe again.

Personally, I'd do my best to get a restraining order (temporary restraining order aka TRO). They aren't hard to file on your own, just tedious and unpleasant. Victim-witness groups may help you file for free, but if they are busy and a lawyer is too costly, you can do it yourself.

I'd do this not just to get the TRO order (because unless you have more proof than you have mentioned here, or unless you get an unusually perceptive judge, I'd guess you may not get that order- on the other hand, maybe you will, which would be very nice.) The main reason I'd file the TRO request is because the paperwork you file for a TRO all gets saved. Meaning:

Your ex-roomate would then KNOW that they would look at him first and foremost if there were to be any bad behavior vs your home or you.

Take a friend with you to the TRO hearing for moral support, and if your state allows, being them into the hearing. They will serve as witness if the ex-roomate gets nasty in the halls on the way in, and they will support you throughout. No one likes a bully, your friends know you and won't think anything but "wow, that guy was one sick person, I hope I can help take the fear out of this and help my friend get back on track enjoying life again quickly ."

Document everything that has happened as best you recall it, including any incidents with proof/witnesses names, save any texts and get photos of those texts. If yours is a single party consent state you can tape record all calls - good proof for a TRO hearing if you are harassed by phone. This isn't legal advice, its common sense: Do what you need to do to feel safe in your home.

Redecorate a bit. Once the safety precautions are in place, make your home a nicer sanctuary from work. Make the place warmer and fuzzier, a true haven from stress. Take extra time for you to relax, pursue hobbies, spend time with friends, whatever makes you feel stronger spiritually. This turns the ex-roomate's sick behavior into a motive force to actually improve the quality of your life.

As for the BON, they aren't in the business of being used by every twisted person who wants to waste their time by trying to use them as a way to hurt caregivers.

Lacking REAL proof (not a bizarre picture of oh my gosh, a bottle) they are very unlikely to rain on your parade - however your understandable fear of them allowing themselves to be used that way IS a burden you don't deserve.

If you still feel threatened, get letters regarding your character from those you trust. However, I think that time would best be spent relaxing with a good book on that awesome Egyptian cotton duvet you've had your eye on - or whatever else you can do that makes you feel happy and relaxed.

That's my opinion, anyway, drawn strictly from living on this planet.

You've been through a really unfair situation, and deserve to have good things come of this. Everyone who posted here, everyone in your life that you have spoken to about this, your family, the students you went to school with, knows you are a quality person, and wants you to be able to have a more fair life.

Best wishes.

SDaisy79

SDaisy79

3 Posts

Does anyone know how the BON handles someone just calling and saying such things about a nurse? Any application I fill out asks "has the board ever investigated you" and it's usually a check "yes" or "no" option. This is dooming and I would never want to have to check "yes" just like I have never been terminated from a position and would hate to have that on my resume.

I was browsing the MBON site and it has all kind of info for people wanting to complain and can do so anonymously. It seems to cater to anyone wanting to complain and does not reads this way.

*Do you guys feel the board will investigate (if he maybe even lies and says he's a patient and wants to remain anonymous) or do they need actual information from the caller such as their name and then this info is kept anonymous from the nurse. Do you think the board will actually take blind complaints or do they make the person complaining say prove the patient-nurse connection. Again, he is a lay person and in no way r/t to my job. This is what is keeping me up at night. He knows where I work and what unit I am in so could for sure pretend to be a patient. Will the BON show up to speak to my co-workers? This would be mortifying and I'm contract agency there, I would probably be let go not matter what is fair or right out of this just being problematic, etc.

I completely get that you are concerned about any type of investigation, but from your initial post including this one, you are asking a lot of questions in every possible scenario? This raises a red flag. You seem to be rationalizing everything. Saying your job is just looking for a reason to let you go? You are even stressing about checking a box "yes" in a fictitious application. What do you have to be so worried about? You know what type of person you are! If you know in your heart that you haven't done anything wrong, then move on with your life. Don't let this fool stress you out... Change your locks, save the texts, and learn from your mistakes. It's that simple. I think you need to realize how much this is doing to you.... Just sayin'

martymoose, BSN, RN

Specializes in PCCN. Has 19 years experience. 1,944 Posts

Threaten to get him fired if he does anything.

Also- cant you threaten him with assault when he was "massaging your shoulders"?

I mean, if we did that to a pt without permission, that would be assault. whats the difference.

He'd lose his job over that too.

Two can play this game. Also echo restraining order and changing locks.

What a creep.