Help! The ER "Bully" got me!

[Party-of-Five-NY]

Hi, I'm hoping to get advice regarding a situation that occured last week in our ER. Background, I am a fairly new nurse, almost 2 years out of school. I worked one year on med/surg. then accepted a position in the ER. I started in the ER in October, and precepted for about 10 weeks, (I work part-time).

Last week, the known, nasty, ER bully, whose been a nurse there for 17 years, took over my team at 3 PM. The next day, she proceded to announce to the staff, including 3 nurses, and the unit secretary, how awful my documentation was, and went on and on how she couldn't believe how bad it was. Mind you, I did have a rough day and admit that my charting WAS lacking.

I was informed of this incident by my charge nurse, who upon hearing this nurse rant about me, immediately stopped her, and took her aside to reprimand her. I should also mention that this nurse was also one of my preceptors.

Should I confront this evil witch, or just let it roll off my back? The charge nurse did intervene on my behalf, but I don't know how I can go on and work with her, as if nothing happened. On the other hand, everyone else puts up with her because they don't want to deal with her.

What do you suggest? Should I send a letter to the dept. manager, just to keep on file, in case this continues?

I'm open to suggestions.

[analee23]

I would confront her if I were you, in a very nice way. Just let her know how her comments made you feel and so forth and document EVERYTHING. Document what was said, what date, etc. If everyone has had to deal with her, the manager must be somewhat aware of the problem.

Documenting her behavior can help you out as it will show that the problem is ongoing and not improving despite your efforts. You should copy your documentation and give it to your manager if the behavior continues. This will show her that your coworkers behavior is a major problem.

By doing so, it may help in either her termination or one-on-one counseling with the manager to improve her behavior. I had to do something similar with a tech that was being very verbally abusive to me, he has since changed his ways. He still works on the unit, but is now a pleasant person to work with.

Hope that helps!

[Altra, BSN, RN]

What exactly would a letter to the dept. manager say? That this nurse pointed out deficiencies in your documentation which you acknowledge were there on that particular day?

Is she a witch? Probably. Let it roll off your back. If you could have been there you could have stood up for yourself and nipped that conversation in the bud, but you weren't there at the time.

Unfortunately not everyone plays nice. Just don't get sucked into the game.

[oramar]

Why in the world did she feel the need to humiliate you in public? I don't get people like this, I think they get off on it somehow.

[Katnip, RN]

What exactly would a letter to the dept. manager say? That this nurse pointed out deficiencies in your documentation which you acknowledge were there on that particular day?

Unfortunately not everyone plays nice. Just don't get sucked into the game.

The fact that this nurse did this publicly, behind the OP's back, to people who had no need to know (ie the secretary). If this nurse does things like this regularly, then she could be said to be creating a hostile work environment which many managers would be interested in knowing.

[lindarn]

Why in the world did she feel the need to humiliate you in public? I don't get people like this, I think they get off on it somehow.

Because it validated her self worth, self importance, and her "power" in the ER because she has been there for so long and gotten away with her behaviour.

Lindarn, RN, BSN, CCRN

Spokane, Washington

[Party-of-Five-NY]

What exactly would a letter to the dept. manager say? That this nurse pointed out deficiencies in your documentation which you acknowledge were there on that particular day?

Is she a witch? Probably. Let it roll off your back. If you could have been there you could have stood up for yourself and nipped that conversation in the bud, but you weren't there at the time.

Unfortunately not everyone plays nice. Just don't get sucked into the game.

For your information, it is against the code of ethics, put forth by the ANA, for a nurse to discredit another licensed professional, without first confronting the individual themselves, or an immediate supervisor.

Secondly, our hospital is trying to achieve magnet status, and this type of behavior is also against a "force" of magnetism.

The letter to the unit manager would address that matter. Whether she was right or wrong about what she said, doesn't matter, a nurse should not discredit another, without that nurse present, EVER!!

[JBudd, MSN]

I would talk to the charge nurse that stepped in for you first and see if she reported it to management. Don't confront the bully unless in the manager's office in front of the manager. Its far too easy to get into a "she said you said" dispute.

If the charge didn't take it to the manager, ask her to go with you to do it. Witnesses and reliable back up.

Managers can't do much if people aren't willing to go on record with complaints.

[RunnerRN, BSN, RN]

Don't confront this bully. It will get you nowhere. I would talk to my CN (the one who informed you of the incident) and find out if it was passed up the line to management. If not, ask that s/he tell your NM what happened. I also don't see where writing a letter to your NM is going to help. You didn't hear her say anything, you just heard from other people that she was talking about you. What would a letter say? "Annie was saying mean things about me behind my back." If this person has been there for 17 years, I guarantee they know what the deal is with her attitude and either don't care or don't want to rock the boat. I hope your attitude towards this nurse has changed - no fake niceties or anything, just be professional and end it there.

If you want something done, request a meeting with your NM to talk about this. You seem quite well-spoken and I'm sure would be able to conduct yourself accordingly.

[northshore08]

Managers can't do much if people aren't willing to go on record with complaints.

100% correct. I've heard it and said it a thousand times. If you don't write it up, nothing will be done about it. And it sounds like it won't take many more complaints about this one. The nurses who witnessed the outburst and the unit secretary would be the best ones to document, not the OP who wasn't present, IMHO.

Why some people gotta be so mean?? Play nice...we all have so much fun together!

[Batman24]

I would talk to the charge nurse that stepped in for you first and see if she reported it to management. Don't confront the bully unless in the manager's office in front of the manager. Its far too easy to get into a "she said you said" dispute.

If the charge didn't take it to the manager, ask her to go with you to do it. Witnesses and reliable back up.

Managers can't do much if people aren't willing to go on record with complaints.

That's exactly how I would handle it. Talk to the CN tomorrow and get it on record with the manager. Only confront with a superior in the room as a witness. This will get a formal complaint on record in the appropriate fashion. They will need a paper trail if they would like to fire her at some point and this gets documentation of a hostile working environment and inappropriate behavior on file. Very unprofessional.

[morte, LPN, LVN]

hmmm HIPAA? if the bully was not taking over care of the OP's patients, and simply read the charts to check up on the OP, isnt this a HIPPA violation....much bigger fish to fry than being nasty!