HELP! Social question-over the line?

llg, PhD, RN · Jan 10, 2011

You crossed the line of appropriateness a long time ago. You became over-involved on a personal basis with this family and are now finding out how messy these things can be. The messiness is why you shouldn't cross the line in the first place.

Having the family stay in your home could get you in trouble at work, particularly if they have a policy about maintaining appropriate professional relationships. At the very least, it will give you a bad reputation as being "young and foolish" and "over-involved" that may hurt your career.

I suggest nipping the problem in the bud now before anything really bad happens. Don't have them stay at your house. Maybe meet them for a snack or meal at the hospital ... and start putting the relationship back into the professional realm where it belongs. Be friendly and caring, but pull back a little and maintain appropriate boundaries.

llg -- an old, experienced nurse who works in a children's hospital

RoyalPrince · Jan 10, 2011

Are you out of your mind?! which school did u go to?!

NO that is unethical and unprofessional!

Did you ever think if the mom was readmitted to your hospital she could potentially say to your colleagues whom she's staying with?

Either way if ANYTHING at all happens to her or patient in YOUR home you are liable to the MAX as RN not a friend.

Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

If you are on maternity leave, and will have no responsibility for the child, then I can't imagine what the problem would be.

Well, if I read correctly, the child was admitted previously for a stay of one YEAR. That lasts longer than maternity leave.

My youth pastor used to say, "if you have to ask if it's wrong, then it is."

It's a nice gesture, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions...

Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

Are you out of your mind?! which school did u go to?!
NO that is unethical and unprofessional!

Whoa, easy there. No need for attacks now...

klone, MSN, RN · Jan 10, 2011

Either way if ANYTHING at all happens to her or patient in YOUR home you are liable to the MAX as RN not a friend.

How so?

Unless she's in this woman's employ as a private duty nurse, how is she liable as an RN? Does that extend to ANYONE who is at her home? If not, why not? If so, does that mean no RN or medical professional should ever have guests over for fear of liability?

I'm leaning towards - liability wise or discipline wise, you probably wouldn't get in trouble. At this point, this woman is a friend, not a patient of yours. Professional boundary wise, I agree with the person who said you crossed the line a long time ago.

elkpark · Jan 10, 2011

You crossed the line of appropriateness a long time ago. You became over-involved on a personal basis with this family and are now finding out how messy these things can be. The messiness is why you shouldn't cross the line in the first place.
Having the family stay in your home could get you in trouble at work, particularly if they have a policy about maintaining appropriate professional relationships. At the very least, it will give you a bad reputation as being "young and foolish" and "over-involved" that may hurt your career.
I suggest nipping the problem in the bud now before anything really bad happens. Don't have them stay at your house. Maybe meet them for a snack or meal at the hospital ... and start putting the relationship back into the professional realm where it belongs. Be friendly and caring, but pull back a little and maintain appropriate boundaries.
llg -- an old, experienced nurse who works in a children's hospital

As usual :), I agree completely with llg

elkpark -- another old, experienced nurse who works with kids and families ...

tencat · Jan 11, 2011

You crossed the line of appropriateness a long time ago. You became over-involved on a personal basis with this family and are now finding out how messy these things can be. The messiness is why you shouldn't cross the line in the first place.
Having the family stay in your home could get you in trouble at work, particularly if they have a policy about maintaining appropriate professional relationships. At the very least, it will give you a bad reputation as being "young and foolish" and "over-involved" that may hurt your career.
I suggest nipping the problem in the bud now before anything really bad happens. Don't have them stay at your house. Maybe meet them for a snack or meal at the hospital ... and start putting the relationship back into the professional realm where it belongs. Be friendly and caring, but pull back a little and maintain appropriate boundaries.
llg -- an old, experienced nurse who works in a children's hospital

:yeah:

paranrs66 · Jan 11, 2011

OMG. What if I had a roommate that was a diabetic? What if someone I know has a cardiac arrest in front of me? What if a former patient saw me at the mall, had lunch, and choked on a chicken bone...Oh Please....maybe I missed something, but geez, if your scared to lose your license b/c you might have to "act" as an licensed RN, LOL, how do you make it in the world...If you are friends, and you wish to help, then do so. If you don't, b/c of whatever, then don't. And if you want to do some of that, set your personal boundries and stick to them. I once met a family that had nothing, mother had to go to hospital for stomach problems, 13 yr. old brought his premade baloney sandwiches to the hospital b/c he knew he would not have food if he didn't. Later, I brought them some food and blankets of mine. SCAREY. I coulda been sued! I guess!....guess I'll keep taken my chances with my license...LOL AND your not even working? That negates EVERYTHING. Do what you want.

noctanol · Jan 11, 2011

Yes you will get in trouble, if you have a "sixth sense" feeling then you should steer away. Try and explain to the mom that if she has to stay with you then you cannot be her sons primary RN.

Batman25 · Jan 11, 2011

I wouldn't advise a professional and personal relationship with this family. If you want t to be friends on the level they stay in your home you shouldn't be providing nursing care to the child in the hospital anymore. Can that be arranged with your NM? Would the mother prefer to stay in your home or have you care for her child?

Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN · Jan 11, 2011

OMG. What if I had a roommate that was a diabetic? What if someone I know has a cardiac arrest in front of me? What if a former patient saw me at the mall, had lunch, and choked on a chicken bone

Huge differences here.

Unless you and your roommate met because she was your patient.

As someone who is trained in CPR, acting upon a witnessed cardiac arrest is the prudent thing to do, nurse or not. You don't need a license to do this effectively.

And performing the Heimlich remover during a chance encounter in a public place is not the same as inviting a former patient to stay with you.

There's a duty to act, and then there's this situation.

Apples and orange? No, apples and squash!

paranrs66 · Jan 11, 2011

LOL, She's not even working as a nurse while her new friend is living with her. Ok, then, Let's say you have a diabetic roommate, they have a diabetic crises, you intervene b/c as a trained RN you recognize a problem and interveine(sp). You "may" have saved their life b/c of what would've happened if you were not there. NOW she is your patient, guess she's moving out next week. Too bad... (;D, a little tongue and cheek) so to speek....Good thoughts from all though, every situation is different. Just do the RIGHT thing. And it is prudent to think about your license...don't forget the humans!

The original poster simply wrote she "was a primary RN for a patient for about a year and then they got discharged and went back home out of state. I became friends with the mom and the little patient." and some people are saying you "shouldn't cross that line" by letting them crash at your place the night before they go in for a procedure....You can be a friend and a nurse, just don't be performing any medical procedures or giving medical advice to the little tyke, k? jmho It's just a place to sleep btw friends.

Oh yeah, Other's are right, it would be better if you are NOT her primary care provider as a nurse at work anymore, but I have real friends who come into the ER all the time, and I take care of them, and it is not discussed between us except on their terms, in private. Big deal. They are glad to see a friendly face :)