Help I think the charge nurse wants me out

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Hey guys..new nurse here and just started working a few months and the charge nurse has been at me since week one. The first week she told everyone "oh look she just hired my replacement". Things have gotten worse. Just this week..I came in early to do work the Nurse Manager asked me to do and when I got to the floor she yelled at me at the nurses station about how unprofessional I am in front of everyone including nursing students. She continues to pick at me telling me how everyone talks about me and how I am not wanted on the team. But from what I hear and see it doesn't feel like that because people I work with always so nice and invite me to go out with them. I don't know what to do..I get along great with the nurse manager..she has helped me always since day one. She has taken me under her wing and wants me to advance. Please help.

Hey guys I appreciate the advice so far. I appreciate different prospectives on the issue. But to update you..yes I did go to the Charge Nurse first MANY times alone away from everyone and have been trying to make things right. I promise I have and I hate that this is happening! I don't want her to lose her job and I don't and I respect the nurses I work with and feel that I can learn much from them as I work with all experienced nurses. I want to work in peace with everyone for a great, positive work environment. I want to make things better I really do.

and how does the cn respond, when you've talked with her?

leslie

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.
She do this with everyone?

If not you probably need to look at yourself in the mirror.

It's never your fault, huh? I'm sayin'...You're doing something wrong.

She sure is doing something wrong---allowing herself to be bullied =( To the OP, I hope you can go to your NM and get some help in dealing with this workplace bully--that's what this nurse is, plain and simple...

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Can I guess that maybe the charge is ADN and you're a new BSN hired in? This sounds like a real familiar scenario from my software career where a lead will freak out when a specialist is hired.

All the suggestions sound real familiar too, document specifics and facts, present to the manager. Best wishes!

:D

Not likely.

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Don't be timid when you talk to your NM, or she'll accuse you of being timid. The parts about you not being liked as a member of the team -- those are serious errors of hers. She'll regret having said that.

You tried in private, she had her chance. I don't care that she's charge, she needs some big time push back, and you need to push back very hard the next time.

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Hey guys I appreciate the advice so far. I appreciate different prospectives on the issue. But to update you..yes I did go to the Charge Nurse first MANY times alone away from everyone and have been trying to make things right. I promise I have and I hate that this is happening! I don't want her to lose her job and I don't and I respect the nurses I work with and feel that I can learn much from them as I work with all experienced nurses. I want to work in peace with everyone for a great, positive work environment. I want to make things better I really do.

So, what is the result? Did she change ever since the conversation or confrontation?

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

I am not sure what the dynamics are of your relationship with this charge nurse, it could be jealously, bullying, or simply lack of communication. When I graduated and started my first job, I was very task orientated, I was serious on the floor, friendly but focused. Anyways I portrayed myself as being "serious" and people read my body language differently then I was feeling. ER nurse's statements from what I can determine are meant for you to not only evaluate the situation you are in, but to also evaluate yourself and how your body language or interactions are affecting this person. I am not saying you did anything wrong, however I am merely stating to think about your interactions with this individual.

I agree on ALL levels that if this person is bullying you, then the situation requires conflict resolution. Disrespecting you in front of co-workers, students, and patients is completely unacceptable and unprofessional, I agree with you that way. Have you ever just asked if you could talk to this person in private? I think it is always best to try to uncover the issue, before bringing in a third party to mediate. Perhaps she feels you "think"(even if you do not portray) yourself as being superior because of a degree, or because you just graduated, or maybe she is jealous how the manager and other staff interact with you.

What ever it is I have found that trying to chum up to individuals like that and ask them for their knowledge and support, will get your further then bringing on WW3. I suggest talk to her and say that you feel that we started off on the wrong foot and that you would like to work with her more effectively and "learn from senior staff like herself". If you let her know she is needed and valued (hopefully) she will turn around. A lot of newer graduates come in with the (know it all attitude) it isn't intentional it is just because we just graduated and passed our boards and feel high and mighty when we are done lol. Whatever you do, do not start talking about this individual to other staff members there! You are still new and do not know who you can fully trust, plus gossip always finds it's way back. I was intimidated by a few staff members who would say things about "new nurses". Guess what I chummed up to them and let them know that I appreciated their knowledge and went to them for questions, made them feel needed. My relationships with them are great now.:hug: GOOD LUCK! We work with a bunch of women so we always face these issues, but it is how we handle them that set us apart from the rest.

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OP do you want to be a professional or a game player? Your answer to this simple question will define your career.

Your NM taking you "under her wing" sounds like that's for her best interest, not yours. Are you being manipulated?

My advice is to find a position were you can do your job to the best of your ability. Find a mentor within your organization you can learn from without it having any bearing on your job and relationship with your coworkers. Invisible. Many knowledgeable nurses would be honored to be a designated mentor. Go up the food chain. Look for someone in a roll beyond what you aspire to currently. It's rare that RN's do this.

Your manager sounds ineffective. Don't put all your eggs in her basket.

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I second the advice to speak with the nurse manager. I can almost assure you that approaching the charge nurse directly will not have positive results and may even make things worse.

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Specializes in hopeful ER/Surg.

She wants to hear you beg to be treated better by her. Don't do it. Let her know- without an ounce of girly, frilly 'I hope you don't mind if I say this, I look up to you" BS- that you intend to operate in an environment conducive to excellence and therefore are interested in solving these issues with her directly. Treat her with respect- but don't be a punching bag. I do think new nurses can sometimes rub "old nurses" (lol) the wrong way. There are subtle ways to carry yourself in a way that shows confidence, but defers to their experience.

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I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that the 'wonderful' nurse manager is actually the source of the issues. The cream doesn't always rise to the top.

ETA: Even the worst manager can seem like the best to their current favorite. Bad managers who are master manipulators are pros at splitting staff (it's not just a term from psych class). Sometimes that extra attention being paid to the new hire is plain and simple grooming and that fall from grace when a new favorite comes along can bring out the worst in people.

The dysfunction of a sick unit can be hard to navigate for an experienced new hire and is even worse for a new grad whose finally landed their first job.

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Agreed with the above with one addition - I would simply try to work it out between you and the charge nurse FIRST (as you are the new employee - although that's NOT an excuse, plus it builds your character if you can work things out.) And then, if after several attempts it doesn't pan out, then go to your supervisors/employee dispute resources.

No, no, no. There's no working it out with the charge nurse first since she clearly has displayed this behavoir. Going to her after she has shown her tail to the OP and especially in front of others only makes the OP look weak in this charge nurse's eyes. Lord knows, I've taken a many psychology classes to know how to play the game of life and how our ticker's tick.

Secondly, it's not her reponsibility to go around pampering the charge nurse's emotional outbursts. CN should be ashamed of herself. She's getting paid to take care of patient's, not her charge nurse. She's made it dang clear to the OP that she isn't about to talk to her in an adult manner about such. Personally, she wouldn't be worth my precious breath to try to have a conversation with. Hell hath no fury...:lol2:

Okay so this has been reported to the Supervisor and still there's problems. Go over their head as need be.

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Specializes in A myriad of specialties.
Don't be timid when you talk to your NM, or she'll accuse you of being timid. The parts about you not being liked as a member of the team -- those are serious errors of hers. She'll regret having said that.

You tried in private, she had her chance. I don't care that she's charge, she needs some big time push back, and you need to push back very hard the next time.

I have been a nurse for many many years and have seen a lot! IF the OP does push back, (or even speaks up at all on her own behalf), she may push HERSELF out the back door....or at the very least be retaliated against in more severe ways. With so many out there looking for jobs, I'd advise her to be very careful and VERY SILENT.

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