my husband told me maybe I can't handle the stress of nursing

Nurses Stress 101

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I graduated in 2008. Got a job in SNF, LTC, WOUND CARE AND NOW HOME HEALTH NURSING. I REALLY WANT TO BE aN L&D NURSE BUT SO TIRED anD DISAPOINTED WITH BEING TURNED DOWN FOR JOBS that ivwant so bad. I recently went through some personal issues with my family and church. The pastor told me I was a bad mom and he was better than me and I'm pathetic...the list goes on. He really wanted to parent my kids which he started doing and turned them against me. My oldest son married his oldest dtr and they had their first child four months ago. Long story short pstr said I was causing dissention in the church just bc I didn't agree with him. A lot of what he said was his opinion. Ex...he said ppl who fall asleep in church look at Media....stupid...that's not even Biblical. Maybe they tired from working all flippin day and his sermons are boring...just saying....So I was kicked out of the church bc I was told I had to apologize in front of the entire church. .most ofppl didnt even know what going on. It was rediculous. So i said i needed more time to think about what to say. He said I had to apologize that morning or leave the church right then. My kids chose to agree with him. My oldest will barely talk to me and we used to be so close until this pastor came along and he married his dtr. I rarely get to see my gd because my dil said I'm bitter and she doesn't want her dtr around me. Tovtop it off my job is very disorganized and stressful. They always want more from us. I love nurs. Its what makes me happy. But, I had to take a loa because I was in a very dark place and very anxious plus I got extremely depressed. I have been on loa since november. THEN I got pna, sepsis, acute MI. My husband and dtr found me in bed turning blue. By the time EMT'S got their i had stopped breathing. Several weeks after going home I was dx with PE. I initially didn't even know I was sick. To top it off they found a mass on my right lung and may have had a stroke bc my vision and memory were affected.

Let me just add I am onlyv44yo. I consider my self a hard working...loving...compassionate nurse. My niece and dtr are beci ming nurses because of me.

So I was talking to my husband yesterday and he said maybe I can't handle the stress of nursing. I love nursing so much. The jobs I have gotten I don't really like but ive learned from them...so I don't see it as all bad. Can snyone tell me how you know if nursing isn't for you? I don't feel that way at all. I talk about my stressv to him but it doesn't mean I hate nursing. I'm so discouraged from wh as t he said.....any comment hopefully appriated...

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I have a distinct dislike of self righteous hateful clergy and "men of God". What self absorbed misogynist!!! Grrrrrrr.

My initial response is find another church. Take care of your health, Clearly the stress this person who calls himself a pastor is taking it's toll.

The job marlet is tough and has been since 2008. Keep on trying. Talk with your therapist. Follow up and become healthy

((HUGS))

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I agree with the PP. Find a new church. I've been going to church from a young age and have never heard anything like that. Don't apologize. Find a new church, talk to a therapist. If you love nursing and your a safe nurse. No one can tell you that nursing isn't for you.

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I think my husband isnt considering all the other stress I was going through. Ys I had complaints about my job but I love my pts and I am safe. Ive made a few mistakes..everyone has. If they say they haven't they are lying. And ive learned from them....p.s. never killed anyone. Maybe I should try to fond a job out of state. I live in California. Can anyone sugest a state that is hiring nurses? I think it woulso give me a chamce to get away from the situation for a while and get some hospital experience. ...

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Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.

First off, run, don't walk away from your church. Honestly, how anyone can act that way and call themselves a man of God is beyond me. Secondly, I'm sure your husband only has your best interests at heart, he makes an excellent point, you've been through a lot recently.

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BuckybadgerRN, I agree..he is looking out fory best interest but I love nursing ive just had jobs that aren't my thing. I have...I just want to get past all this and get a job I enjoy. I just can't get it out of my head whay he said. Is it true? Vcan you love nursing but it's not for you?

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

Please, please, PLEASE get some counseling!! With what you've described about that hateful preacher and your health difficulties, you need it desperately. Anonymous strangers on the Internet can't give you the expert help or the one-on-one, face-to-face interaction that a therapist can. You deserve better than this.......life is way too short to be this miserable. ((((((HUGS))))) to you.

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Viva, I know this has been one of the worst things I've gone thru but I will get thru it. I'm just concerned that I'm not fit to be a nurse...something I worked my tail off for, I've wanted since I was 12 and I love taking care of ppl. I just don't care for the jobs I've had, and I'm concerned my husband is right. I have school loans thay I'm responsible for and I don't want to give up on my dream. Ugggh...thank you for your concern and advice.

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Specializes in ER.

There is so much dysfunction described in your post, I don't know where to begin. Your church community, frankly, sounds like a cult. Where does your husband stand on the crazy, controlling pastor thing? That whole deal sounds totally bizarre. I agree, get counseling, and not with anyone from your church!

And now your husband thinks nursing is too much for you? What about a controlling pastor who turns your kids against you? Get counseling!

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My husband left before I did because of the pastors behavior but he wanted me to make my own decision. Believe me...what I wrote is just the tip of the iceberg. I should have left with him. My husband is just concerned about my health and the stress of nursing. Ivee been through a lot...but I don't want to give up. I have someone I am talking to.

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Specializes in Leadership, Psych, HomeCare, Amb. Care.
Please, please, PLEASE get some counseling!! With what you've described about that hateful preacher and your health difficulties, you need it desperately. Anonymous strangers on the Internet can't give you the expert help or the one-on-one, face-to-face interaction that a therapist can. You deserve better than this.......life is way too short to be this miserable. ((((((HUGS))))) to you.

Parts of the OP posts were very convoluted and hard to follow.

In any event, this pastor is not meeting your needs (to say the least). Follow Viva's advice, find a therapist, whether secular or clergy, who is able to meet your needs.

good luck to you.

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Sorry it was hard to follow. Texting on this pho ne is hard.

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