Having a hard time making friends

[oliviaapNS]

I started nursing school in January of this year, passed my first semester, and now I am in my second semester. When I started, I had a friend I graduated high school with in the program with me so I would always sit with her at lecture. We were not in the same clinical group and we made our "cohorts" and everything was okay. My group was different personalities but mostly people around my age. By the end of the semester, I still didn't feel very close with them. And my friend from high school did not pass.

I was 19 when I started the program, I am now 20. I consider myself more of an ambivert (mix of introvert and extrovert). I don't mind talking to people, but I am kind of shy until I get to know you type person. I am married so I like to spend most of my time with my husband and family. I don't party or drink, which most young people in my program do. I also don't like study groups, I prefer to study alone.

My cohort from my first semester liked to do study groups and go out to eat ALL the time which I could not afford to do. Therefore, they were all together a lot while I was not. And the last time they did a study group they wound up getting into an argument about something so I was glad I didn't go.

Now that I am in my second semester, I feel like everyone already has friends they made from the first semester. I could have cried when I found out my friend from high school did not pass! We got along so well and were the same personality. Now I am a loner. It really wouldn't bother me much because I am not looking to make friends to hang out with on the weekends, but it sucks going to class and my biggest worry is where I am going to sit or who to sit by. I don't want to sit by myself and be left out and I don't want people to think that I am sitting alone because I want to.

I have tried making small talk with people but it was just small talk and then they went back talking to their friends..

There are people that will talk to me every now and then but I still feel alone..

I am going to try and put myself out there more I guess. It is just hard because I have never had problems making friends until now.

It makes it even worse that we don't have a clinical this semester because I feel like if I was forced to be in a group with people I could make some friends.

Sorry if this rant bored you to death lol. Anyone else have a similar experience?

[cracklingkraken, ASN, RN]

I think because you and your friend had your own "clique" or whatever you would like to call it, it will make it harder to get to know others. A lot of the people you become familiar with will be in your first year.

It is a hard situation. I am sorry that you are feeling this way. I think as you said, putting yourself out there will allow new friendships to form. You don't have to be in a study group or spend money to get to know your classmates. Keep us updated!

[Aloe_sky]

I did not have friends when I was in the practical nursing program or my BscN program... I never cared one bit, I've always been a loner. Everyone is different and for me staying alone was a good thing, I just focused on my studies. Clearly you are different and this issue seems to really bother you. You should put yourself out there if you really want to make friends, just don't try too hard and always be genuine. People can sense when someone is trying too hard and at that point how they view you would be worst then if they just thought you were a loner. Take care.

[NurseGirl525, ASN, RN]

I sit in the corner by myself. A piece of advice, stay away from the cliques, as they will be your downfall. I learned the hard way last semester that anyone will lie and throw you under the bus to save themselves. I am done with it and being friendly to people. It's sad but it's what had to be done. I know people are saying I'm an awful person and other names right now, but I don't care. I'm there to get my education and graduate. I became friendly with my clinical group last semester and it bit me in the butt. I took the summer to get over it, and now I am the person who sits in the back by themselves. And so far, my semester has been so stress free. I love it. I have my family and friends outside of school and that is what is important. I'm promise you, it will work out best for you in the end.

I am friendly to people. I will say hi and smile at them. I do not text any, I am not on Facebook with any of them. They are all blocked and I left the Facebook group they put together for our class. I do not have time for any drama. I will say I'm quite a bit older than many of the students and it seems to be the younger ones that cause all the drama. If that is what makes them happy, great, it's just not me. And I am a huge extrovert, so it is a little hard on me sometimes. But choosing to not get involved is seriously the best decision I ever made.

[chris21sn, BSN, RN]

It must be very hard. You seem very uncomfortable with your situation.

My word of advice for you is to perhaps find someone who is similar to you. For example, in my class, usually the younger crowd are friends with the younger crowd. There are two mothers in my class with families and husbands, and they are the best of friends. They seem to be each other's shoulder-to-lean-on and they always talk about how their children are etc. It would be a great icebreaker, and I'm sure it'd be great to have someone you can talk to with the same lifestyle as yours, in comparison to the other personalities. :)

Hope I could help.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

I can think of worse things.... like having classmate 'stalkers' who latch on to you Day #1 & expect you to share your notes & work with them so that they don't actually have to pay attention or do any work - LOL.

As time goes on, I think OP will discover that natural groups tend to emerge based on ability & approach to education. The Party People will join up first - turning every class into a social event & arranging 'play dates' whenever possible - social activities can easily trump scholastic pursuits. The Happy Learners will gradually emerge as their higher grades & performance become more evident. Then, of course are the Bottom Liners - who are only interested in achieving outcomes without any extra social interactions at all. IMO, it's best to be very deliberate about forging friendships in school. Take your time and reach out to those with whom you have more in common.

I forged lasting bonds with nursing school classmates from the '70's & '80's.... yes, we're still alive and kicking! Not kicking very high, but we're doing it.

[cupcakeluver]

I'm by myself a lot at school. I'm a 3rd semester student so it's been going on for over a year now. It bothers me sometimes. Especially when our instructor announces we will be paired up for group projects and clinicals. That sucks really bad because you have to be with someone.

I've tried talking to different people throughout the semesters. It's usually just a bunch of gossip. People don't like me because they seem to think I don't ever have to study....which couldn't be further from the truth. I waited after class last semester to find out what I made on the final so that I could know my final grade. I wanted to know if I had pulled off an A or not because I was really close. Almost all the other people waiting for their grade were borderline, meaning they wanted to know to find out if they passed the entire class or not. One person asked me what I was doing there, I thought I could trust her so I told her the truth. She broke her neck to go tell everyone else that I was there to find out if I made an A. Since then, I've had a hard time dealing with people. I guess I should have waited; however, I studied really hard for that test and I didn't want to wait 2 weeks to find out my grade.

I don't have a lot of advice. My suggestion is to be friendly but be careful. Best of luck.