Have you gone to patient's funeral?

Specialties Urology

Published

Hi all, I have been working happily (usually) haha :p as an RN in Dialysis for almost a year now and this question popped into my head. We have a small clinic, so this gives you a chance to really get to know the patients, which I enjoy doing. They are all so sweet and think they enjoy talking with us and telling us about their lives. Sadly, I think some of their conditions may be declining in the future, so I was thinking about these questions. Do you think it is appropriate? and have you gone to a patient's funeral/viewing and what did their family think? I know a year isn't a ton of time to know somebody, but I think I would go. I don't know whether some of my co-workers would go or not though, probably stating they wouldn't think it is appropriate. I just think in this particular field especially it's hard not to form a bond with the patients. I am curious to see the responses to this so thanks for your input!!! :twocents: :bowingpur :biggringi

Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Once. To support a very special patient's family. Otherwise I avoid them like the plague.

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I am in dialysis, like the OP. In the past, I was a hospice nurse.

I have never been to a pts funeral. I care about my pts, am friendly with them, and shed tears when we lose one.

However, going to a pt's funeral is not something I would want to do. I do not want to feel that personal with my pts. Everyone's boundaries and level of comfort are different.

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Specializes in aged -adolescent.

Yes I have, one was a resident where I worked and I just loved her, another was a patient in the same nursing home as my husband died in and I had been to uni with him. I spent some time in his room as he no-one there when he was really low and he died about 1/2 hour after I left. Many of the staff cane to my husband's funeral last year and that was really nice.

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Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

No - I haven't. I'm an APN in chronic outpt dialysis. Our nephrology practice always sends flowers and a card signed by all of us to the family when one of our pts dies.

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No.

I have worked dialysis, hospice and LTC. I care about my pts, and have gotten to know some of them well. However, I think it's an individual thing. For me, going to a funeral does not provide closure, or help me say goodbye. It just depresses me.

I say a prayer for my deceased pts and say a little goodbye to them in my mind. I do not want to go to their funerals.

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

Gone to more than I care to remember.

Like Hellllo, though.. it started getting to me. In dialysis you lose MANY over time.

Stopped going after several years. Even now in HH, I try to avoid it if I can.. or I'd be spending all my time going to funerals. Very sad, and I prefer to remember them alive.

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Yes I have. This is a small town and I know most of my patients. Some may even be family members.

steph

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Specializes in m/s, acute/chronic dialysis/apheresis.

In the 14 years of being a dialysis RN I have only attended one funeral of a very special patient of mine several years back. I used to look forward to taking care of this wonderful patient, as she was such an inspiration to me, her demeanor, her fearless countenance, her courage, her strength, her inner beauty as a human being. She was a bilateral amputee who at one time in her life was a famous model in NYC, but she lived in Boston. She was in her 80's. The stories she used to tell us. She brought her portfolio in and I was amazed at how time had changed her along with diabetes and dialysis and amputations. Her husband loved her very much and doted on her and I knew her son because he owned a store in my neighborhood where his father would also work. I knew the whole family before I knew her as a patient. She just happened to come to my unit when she could no longer be taken care of in an outpatient unit. At least once a week her right forearm graft would clot, and she would have to be hospitalized overnight because she was so fragile. I used to say to her, "Ceil, how do you stay so happy when this clotting happens to you once a week?" She would say to me, "smile the world smiles with you, cry you cry alone!" She was a beautiful person and when she died it was so sad for everyone, the whole unit adored her and our neighborhood as well. I had never been to a patients service or funeral before, but I really felt as if I had to go. And, I did. And, I felt better for doing so. For years she was part of my life three times a week, in our acute hospital unit setting. I still miss her company, her smile, her laugh. She was so sweet. She is the only patient's funeral I have ever been to. So if you feel like you need to go, I think you should go. I hope this helps you.

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Specializes in EMS, ER, GI, PCU/Telemetry.

ive gone to... four i think.two teenage pt's funerals.. car accident.. went to HS with my little brother and i happened to be on duty when they crashed... elderly man passed of lung CA who owned a local scrub shop.. i was always in there buying stuff and i wanted to pay my respect to him. and a friends granny who came in with a heart attack and didnt make it... other than that, i try not to get very attached... i think it would make me a basket case... but when my cousin died of a heart attack @ age 25, the hospital arranged for the cvicu nurses involved in his care to go to his funeral. it was a very special gesture to our family and we were very grateful to them.

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