Have you had a family complain about you no matter what you did or try?

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I am banging my head against the wall today. All I can say is thank god I have an uncanny ability to sense complainers before they even have a chance.

I am a hospice RN. See patients and families of all kinds, no two days are alike! ( one of the fun aspects of my job, you can't get board, not really. )

I recently had a patient who was on service for end stage dementia. She was very advanced and declining on almost a daily basis. Her stay with us was very short, approximately 2 weeks.

The patient was always somewhat comfortable after initial titration of meds etc. Her family was the problem. There was only a daughter and her spouse involved. ( 2 family members!! ) I literally saw this patient every day I was working and spoke to the family in person or on the phone every single visit. I even met with them one weekend I was on call for a 2 hour meeting.

They complained to me about the SNF, the staff there even my own colleges. LOTS of complaints, some appeared very valid. I always supported them, answered the same questions over and over and after about the 2 or 3rd meeting it dawned on me something wasn't right. I even notified my manager and said, they are complaining about everything and 80% of its bs.

I documented everything.. including their multiple concerns, complaints, issues, coping problems and apparent issues with guilt. I documented plans for next visit, including bringing a handbook that is specific to hospice patients. I had a feeling something wasn't right here.

Short of the long, the patient expired before my next planned visit, and that booklet I mentioned never got delivered for obvious reasons.

Today, I got a call from my office. This daughter and her spouse did nothing but somplain about me. They told my supervisor I didn't talk to them, they were promised a book days ago and never got one, and the worst? They lied about not knowing a treatment was done. I have proof the family was present and approved the treatment. Thank goodness my SNF nurse was on top of this and said "yes, she was right here..".

COmplaints like this are often ground for termination. I easily could be written up for the multitude of complaints from a family that had obvious mental anguish and maybe pysch issues. Really.. I am so glad I hyper documented and alerted my superior early on.

BUT NURSES SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CRAPOLA LIKE THIS.

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Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

Yep. Some patients, or rather their families could have Jesus Christ himself be their nurse and they'd STILL find something to complain about. Some people there is just NO pleasing them. I too have had ridiculous complaints made against me. One patient's wife told my boss that I'd kicked her husband's bed and didn't want me caring for her husband any moe(NO skin off my nose as the lady was a PITA!!)

Really! I was wearing a pair of those plastic nurse mates clogs and if I'd kicked the bed, I'd have likely broken my foot! Plus when you took the brake off the bed, it jerked the whole bed which might have made it appear as if I'd kicked it when in reality I'd reached my foot behind the bed to undo the brake so I could move it out of the way so I could get the lone recliner in my unit so I could get my OTHER patient out of bed into a chair per the surgeon's order ASAP!!

Seriously, this woman complained about everything! From the softness of the towels,to the mashed potatoes! She was happy with NOTHING!! I wanted to say, you know, there ARE two OTHER hospitals in this city since you seem SO unhappy with ours!!

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were the mashed potatoes too soft or too hard? I'm sorry just had to say that.

My answer OMG!!!!! yes, yes, yes. I cringe when some family members walk onto the unit. I feel so sorry for the CNA's they acuse of not checkin or or changing the pt. When the nurse backed them up and showed documentation, she said they were lying. Then there are the ones that seem reasonable, bring up their concerns but boil n bubble in resentment, and anger mixed with suspicion that we are not doin everything we should to help mom. Bamm out in comes after administration leaves and they insist on taking the pt out AMA and transfering them to a "good hospital" (because we are crap) In reality, they are from out of town, wracked with guilt and remeber mom from a year ago and want that mom back and it isn't realistic. I have empathy for the situation but can't wait to help them get to that "good hospital.":D

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I am banging my head against the wall today. All I can say is thank god I have an uncanny ability to sense complainers before they even have a chance.

I am a hospice RN. See patients and families of all kinds, no two days are alike! ( one of the fun aspects of my job, you can't get board, not really. )

I recently had a patient who was on service for end stage dementia. She was very advanced and declining on almost a daily basis. Her stay with us was very short, approximately 2 weeks.

The patient was always somewhat comfortable after initial titration of meds etc. Her family was the problem. There was only a daughter and her spouse involved. ( 2 family members!! ) I literally saw this patient every day I was working and spoke to the family in person or on the phone every single visit. I even met with them one weekend I was on call for a 2 hour meeting.

They complained to me about the SNF, the staff there even my own colleges. LOTS of complaints, some appeared very valid. I always supported them, answered the same questions over and over and after about the 2 or 3rd meeting it dawned on me something wasn't right. I even notified my manager and said, they are complaining about everything and 80% of its bs.

I documented everything.. including their multiple concerns, complaints, issues, coping problems and apparent issues with guilt. I documented plans for next visit, including bringing a handbook that is specific to hospice patients. I had a feeling something wasn't right here.

Short of the long, the patient expired before my next planned visit, and that booklet I mentioned never got delivered for obvious reasons.

Today, I got a call from my office. This daughter and her spouse did nothing but somplain about me. They told my supervisor I didn't talk to them, they were promised a book days ago and never got one, and the worst? They lied about not knowing a treatment was done. I have proof the family was present and approved the treatment. Thank goodness my SNF nurse was on top of this and said "yes, she was right here..".

COmplaints like this are often ground for termination. I easily could be written up for the multitude of complaints from a family that had obvious mental anguish and maybe pysch issues. Really.. I am so glad I hyper documented and alerted my superior early on.

BUT NURSES SHOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CRAPOLA LIKE THIS.

You may have been seeing some dementia in the daughter as well, and of course the husband wouldn't/couldn't.

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Specializes in SICU, MICU, BURN ICU, Trauma, CTICU, CCU.

Some people you really can't do anything about, nor do I try to bend over backwards for those types of people. I will do splits for the patient, and I will over-reach a bit to make the family more comfortable, but you will never see me jumping through hoops. I give you props for your patience!

I had a family member complain about me because he wanted me to make titration changes on my vasopressors, completely arbitrary numbers from a non-healthcare person. Just a PITA son! When I refused, he complained that I was taking away his right to dictate the treatment course!

Just remember, at the end of the day - YOU get to go home and they are still stuck in the same situation. Deep breath in and out. :)

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Specializes in Emergency/Cath Lab.

Cant please everyone. Do the best you can and move along.

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As a home health nurse I was 'fired' from some cases because of family members' complaints. In each case, either I was not the only person 'fired' or I was on the phone with my supervisor immediately after leaving the house because I knew there would be trouble.

It can be scary when you know they are so guilty about everything or when they outright lie about the situation.

Documentation can be supportive, but is not always the be-all and end-all.

It happens to many of us, no matter what we say or do.

Best wishes.

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Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.

Yes, it is very scary that just one complaint from a cruel family member can get a nurse fired. It has happened over and over. Family members rule the hospitals, which is why i left. There are far fewer complaints in hospice, thank God. Case managers have it rough, though. As an on call nurse there are fewer complaints, but they sure do remember the names of the case managers and like to switch case managers around quite a bit where i work. If they only knew how hard it is to find another job these days they might think before they complain. People die every day. They need to learn how to cope with their relative dying and not berate the nurse for it. Folks are so immature.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Neuro, ICU, travel RN, Psych.

Sometimes I think it's even worse in home care/hospice type jobs, when you are often the only nurse seeing the patient. You don't have other staff around that can vouch for things.

I had a similar situation when I was doing home care. I had a man who was a new diabetic. I had to teach the wife to do his blood sugars, and give him his insulin. She was totally clueless. I went above and beyond for her. I spent almost 3 hours at the house (only paid for an hour of course) to make sure she understood and was comfortable. She was stressing about his multitude of medications, and being able to know which to give when, what to hold due to low BP, etc. I wrote out each med, what color it was, in a format for each time throughout the day. I sorted all the weeks meds into the little boxes for her. (they had one of those weekly boxes)

She was mad that I couldn't come back for the next few days in a row. It wasn't authorized, so there was just no way. She called my office and told them I did nothing, I was rude, I was in and out in 10 minutes, and didn't show her how to check his sugar, draw up the insulin, nothing. Tried to get me fired from the agency. Problem was, I had talked to my office, as well as his dr and pharmacy while I was there. So they knew she was lying.

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Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

I work in a hospital and more than one nurse has been fired due to "complaints". Sometimes I leave work and wonder if I have offended one of the patients or their families in some way I was not aware of. People can easily take things the wrong way.

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Specializes in Hospital Education Coordinator.

One of the reasons I left pedi was the PARENTS. Remember your psych courses? Borders have to be set and you have to document carefully. Having a witness helps. I am sorry this happened to you - sounds like some miserable folks.

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Specializes in Hospice, ONC, Tele, Med Surg, Endo/Output.
I work in a hospital and more than one nurse has been fired due to "complaints". Sometimes I leave work and wonder if I have offended one of the patients or their families in some way I was not aware of. People can easily take things the wrong way.

And it's a shame that you have to live in fear all the time. I swear they don't even deserve our help half the time.

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