Hateful, mean nurses

NocturneNrse · Feb 10, 2011

I too have witnessed, and been on the receiving end of bullying nurses. I'm sure many of us have. I don't know WHY they do it, but I do know.. that you have to confront it - let them know that you are deserving of the same respect that you've been giving them, and do not appreciate their actions. Don't accept it, and make it clear that you're not going to accept it. BUT, don't do so in anger, do so in confidence and then just act as though they do NOT phase you! Sure they'll talk behind your back, and may even make up false accussations (DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!).. just take the "high road". I know it's hard.. this cr*p should NOT happen with professional adults... and management wants YOU to deal with it on your own.. trust me, they don't want to deal with this...and probably WONT.

Sorry you're going through this.. it's horrible. :mad: The jerks!

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Feb 10, 2011

OK .... I have seen this work in some places.

It's not quite proper.

It works best when the manager is weak and there is a solid bunch of confident experienced nurses who are on the same page with this.

The bunch talk to each privately ..... make a plan ie devise their strategy

They have to be able to deny they have ever spoken to each other about the bully issue and that they are on a project to get rid of it.

They pick out a variety of incidents ...all with common theme, all with witnesses and all with features that present risk to the facility.

They spend time gathering the right information

Over several months, they plan a cascade of this information via incident report and informal/formal contacts with chain of command.

They mix it up a little as to reduce risk of cover being blown.

Remember they have to be prepared to lie ... be bad.

The aim of the project is to have the bullies fired.

So it's pretty wicked ....

NamasteNurse, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2011

Why ARE so many nurses mean? I have never run into this sort of back-stabbing childish behavior in other jobs I've had, and I've had a LOT!

CareteamRN70 · Feb 10, 2011

I just left a job where the patient ratio was crazy (50+ to 1 nurse) and being a new nurse I just didnt feel safe. The upside was while I was there I learned a lot from fellow nurses and even when a mistake was made it was a teachable moment.

MY new job has a lower pt load but a higher acuity. I was snatched up because I was told that LTC in my state would be hiring more RN's vs LPN's to up their RN to patient contact hours for state surveys.

Now I have nothing bust respect for LPN's, and I don't believe the extra 6 months or so I spent getting my ASN gifted me automaticly with years of experience or built in critical thinking skills....I still respect years of experience on the floor vs years behind achieving a degree.

That being said, since I have started I have gotten it coming and going from the LPN's on my unit. I have talked to some about it, and they are upset with the facility stressing hiring RN's. Once we have talked and they see I that I hold their positions in high esteem and if anything more so due to their experience, things are good.

Except one nurse who I just can't please. I have been snubbed for everything from not knowing the complete Hx of a patient I have never worked with, not knowing that fax's for my unit came in but were hidden on another unit, to even mispronouncing a Pt's name during report (I wear dentures and sometimes lisp).

I have tried to have my station cleaned up for her when she comes on, try to give the best report I can, I find myself busting my butt for her more then I do my supervisors just trying to earn a little respect or at least something more then being cut off giving report with and told "okay fine, next Pt"

It's petty I know, and I didn't go into nursing to be liked...but I didn't go into it to be treated like dirt either.

The only other problems I have had, is it seems, our Therapy team is at odds with the nursing staff. There seems to be some "secret" war between the two groups that I am trying to keep out of, but by fault of myself being on the nursing team I am allready a player in this game that I have no desire to be in.

I know the learning curve for LTC can be steep and I am hoping that after 6-12 months I'll feel confident enough in my abilities that all the petty stuff will slide off me even tho I find being petty can become contagious as I have found myself more and more often holding back an acidic remark to comments cast at me.

The one plus I do have is that the management seems very very supportive of new staff, and while they do acknowledge a lot of the crap that gets dumped on new employees, it seems to be treated more as a rite of passage then a hostile work environment that leads to low retention of new nurses.

missfreda · Feb 10, 2011

I have had similar experiences with nurses deliberately "holding out" to take report from me last. I got fed up :mad: with their obvious tactics and decided to take advantage of 'verbally recording " my reports as allowed by the facility. I always go in to work a bit early to get organized and to allow the night shift nurses an opportunity to get off in a timely manner. However, I wasn't extended the same consideration when my shift ended. They would come to me last to take report even though I had told them I was ready after they clocked in, they would slip away to ALL the others and come to me last. Well, I told them when they came in that I had recorded my reports and would be covering the floor while they listened to these reports. But also let them know that I would be clocking out and leaving at 7:15 p.m. If they played around, or came in late.... that was their problem. I let the night shift supervisor know that I was leaving and documented this before I left. I don't entertain "mess, gossip, or conflicts" I am professional about my job duties and don't tolerate nurses that aren't. I spend a lot of time with my patients and their care is my priority. What is the message being sent when taking report from a particular nurse LAST ? if any one can tell me why this is going on... I would like to know. I thought it was just to cause me to leave later ?? :rolleyes:

steelcityrn, RN · Feb 10, 2011

I would have the sit down meeting. Sounds like alot of important problems need resolved, most of which is a person allowed to lay in a dirty bed all night!

KarmaWiseRaven · Feb 10, 2011

This is to the OP

Whisper's ( I know a guy who knows a guy who is this guys cousin and he makes things go away for a fee) But you didn't hear that from me. Really I'm sorry this is happening to you and sorry that your job isn't getting the message.

This is true harassment. And maybe you should take it up a step higher or ask for a meeting. I don't understand why can't we all get along and help and work with each other we are on the same team.

I keep hoping that some light would come on We are Nurse's we should be there for each other not building walls and trying to hurt each other the freaking job is hard enough and there is no room for EGO's in Nursing. Its sad it is really sad you just can't go to work and trust the people you work with or try to be friends with them. They look at you your not cute enough or your to fat or your strange i mean wow. I never seen so much backstabbing in one profession get it together people. Were missing the boat and the big picture here. These are my thoughts use them as you wish

Altra, BSN, RN · Feb 10, 2011

This is something I have never adjusted to, coming from the corporate world to nursing as a second career.

In the rest of the adult world, basic social skills are a must.

But seriously ... even if you encounter someone who has the social and professional skills of a flea, why do you tolerate it at all?

If someone would not face me during report - I would say, "X, are you ready to take report, or are you doing something else right now?" No response? I would repeat, a little louder. If someone is going to attempt to play out some childish game, it will be witnessed by all within earshot. Still no response? I'd walk away and find the charge nurse, let him/her know that I am unable to clock out on time because X is unable to take report and assume care of my patient(s) ... and I'm on overtime as of (checking watch) now.

Ackeem, BSN, MSN, RN, APRN · Feb 10, 2011

These were nurses with 20+years experience, in their 40's and 50's. Seriously...
I guess people don't grow out of their 'bully' stage.

Really? I mean that's really how they treat their new borns. Maybe they trying to toughen you up lol , could be they went through the same thing when they were young nurses them selves. They might be just passing on the baton so to speak, or they are just natural bullies, either way its still innapropiate.

Again best of luck :)

pedicurn, LPN, RN · Feb 10, 2011

This is something I have never adjusted to, coming from the corporate world to nursing as a second career.
In the rest of the adult world, basic social skills are a must.
But seriously ... even if you encounter someone who has the social and professional skills of a flea, why do you tolerate it at all?
If someone would not face me during report - I would say, "X, are you ready to take report, or are you doing something else right now?" No response? I would repeat, a little louder. If someone is going to attempt to play out some childish game, it will be witnessed by all within earshot. Still no response? I'd walk away and find the charge nurse, let him/her know that I am unable to clock out on time because X is unable to take report and assume care of my patient(s) ... and I'm on overtime as of (checking watch) now.

Right on :yeah:

It's not only those who behave poorly ..... the problem extends to those who tolerate the poor behaviour

RachelRN2B · Feb 10, 2011

I haven't read all of the replies so I appologize in advance for repeating anything already said...

1st off, I understand where you are coming from too. I've been at my current job for 8 months and I hate it. Especially the lack of commradity(sp?) and lack of team work in general. One night in particular, one of the on-coming nurses refused to receive report from me. She didn't refuse the patients, she just didn't want report from "ME". I had been giving her report very often the previous 3 weeks and having to stand up to myself to her bullying and condescending remarks all week. So that night when she pulled this stunt I went straight to management to find out what the policy was on this particular situation. The manager went straight the source and ended up all 3 of us in an empty room listening to the other nurses make multiple allegations against me. I could have gotten hot headed myself and started responding to everything she had to throw but thought it would be more professional to let her have her say and then let the manager give me the opportunity to defend myself. The manager said we needed to have a "sit down" too, it never happened...BUT I think bc I didn't just sit by and let the girl walk over me like a door matt I somehow earned some kind of respect bc I haven't had a problem since. AND I haven't made some dramatic change to my end of shift report either. Of course bc I'm a new nurse there are things I'm learning EVERY day. Her main problem was that I wasn't willing to stay late each shift to do certain things that others let themselves get bullied into doing. (just a side note, before this happened I spoke with my team leader about certain situations at the end of shift to find out what they expected from us).

In other words, I think the "sit-down" your manager wants or thinks they need to do is a MUST from your side. It shows you want to better the work place by coming at it head first. Whether or not anything comes from it, management will know you were willing to do what it took to make a hostile situation less hostile. Stand up for yourself in the most professional manner you can is the best response. It's hard, but it's worth it. Remember you're not there to make friends, you're there to take care of people (including yourself).

steelydanfan · Feb 11, 2011

I have been at my facility for a little over a year and a half. I've had a few scuffles with co-workers in the past but nothing major. Now there are two nurses that seem to have it out for me. (I have no idea what I did to upset them.) I've gone to management about the harrassment I've been receiving and they (management) won't do anything. The only thing they offer is for all of us to have a 'sit-down' and talk session. There are no consequences at my hospital. You can let a patient lay in a dirty bed all night and the worst thing you get is a 'talking-to' from the supervisor. Seriously? There needs to be more consequences for their actions. They let these bullies run wild. We can't keep staff. Almost every new person that they hire leaves within 6 months.
Any advice?

Well, why did you not accept the sit down and talk session? It would have allowed you to air your grievances in a controlled, professional environment.