Nursing exposes us to many types of people. We can become jaded quickly against patient types we don’t like. We must remember the unlovely are deserving of our compassionate care. The next time you take care of a drug addict/alcoholic, remember that someone somewhere loves them just like you love your family.
I recently moved to my dream location, one with layers of mountains, breathtaking sunrises, and gorgeous lakes and rivers. It is the perfect lifestyle for me and my family. I left a hospital that I had worked in for 23 years. I left best friends and co-workers that are precious family to me. The medium sized hospital served mostly insured patients. Many were elderly, many were extremely sick, on occasion there would be the drug seeker.
Contrasting that with the patients I see a lot of now is amazing. The hospital I work at is in a low income area Many patients are drug or alcohol addicts with little or no insurance. As a result, they often come in with advanced disease processes and habits that are difficult to treat. Forming opinions on these patients is easy, choosing not to is difficult.
The young pretty girl lying on the stretcher had bright blue eyes. I smile at her as I begin to hook her up to the heart monitor in preparation for an EGD. Looking closer I notice the dark circles under her eyes, scattered scabs, and the slightness of her frame.
"What kind of stomach problems have you been having?" I ask.
"I have pain right here," she points to her right lower abdomen.
I can't help but see the black, broken teeth common with methadone addicts. My heart hurts to see someone so young and pretty already showing such devastating signs of drugs. We all know and love someone that has addiction problems. I personally don't understand the quicksand of drugs and alcohol; I am afraid of drugs and am not a big drinker. Over the years I have learned to be grateful for my fear, it has kept me from some dangerous situations.
Often as nurses we become jaded concerning certain types of patients. It gets old pacifying the whiney 30 year old man who thinks just because he's in the hospital that his every whim needs to granted. Or the drug seeker who asks for pain medication as soon as they wake up from anesthesia. It makes me weary seeing the IV pole being walked out to the parking lot by a patient in a hospital gown even in winter just to smoke a cigarette.
One day a young man in his mid-twenties was rolled into my room for an EGD. Anesthesia began asking the token questions about drug use. He stated that he had used drugs in the past, but was drug free now and had been for three years. As I put the oxygen tubing in his nose and around his ears, I looked into his sweet face.
He looks like my son. Suddenly I can't breathe. I move over to the counter with my back to the room. Trying to muffle the uncontrollable wave of emotion that washed over me when I saw my son in the young man. The only problem was that my son is still in the tight grip of drugs. At the same time I was proud of my patient, my heart reminds me that it is still broken.
Sometimes when we push pain down deep, it surfaces when least expected. I love my son with all my heart. I want the best for him. At the same time, I can't be around him until he gets sober. That is what is best for me and my family.
I try to remember when I see patients come in that are addicts that they may have someone praying for them. Someone that loves them more than life itself, someone that hates the habit. They are people, people who have made bad decisions. Whether it is because of traumatic events in their life, terrible home life, or peer pressure; one bad decision led to another. I treat them the same, even if inside I, in my humanness judge them. I set aside my feelings, recognizing that it is not my job to change their lifestyle but to give compassionate nursing care.
Talking about my son is not easy. In fact, I am not sure even now it's the right thing to write about. Putting it in black and white makes it very public, leaving me vulnerable. I share this to say that as a nurse, I am not to judge people. I do not know their circumstances or the reasons behind their pain. I have to put aside my prejudice and treat them with respect deserving of all human beings.
Remember... the next time you are confronted with a patient that goes against your convictions, they have someone who loves them and wants them to get better.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
This is a well written article by a brave, kind, compassionate person. I can see you have a broken heart, but you are a very brave lady to come out in the open like this. I for one appreciate your non judgmental attitude. Everyone, whether a drug addict, an alcoholic, a very smelly, unsightly person who looks like he or she is the victim of some sort of circumstance; whether his or her environment, or a trauma or the environment. Bless you dear.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
This is a well written article by a brave, kind, compassionate person. I can see you have a broken heart, but you are a very brave lady to come out in the open like this. I for one appreciate your non judgmental attitude. Everyone, whether a drug addict, an alcoholic, a very smelly, unsightly person who looks like he or she is the victim of some sort of circumstance; whether his or her environment, or a trauma or the environment. Bless you dear.
Specializes in Oncology, Rehab, Public Health, Med Surg.
It makes me wonder how your friend was behaving towards the patient. Yes, drug addicts can behave despicably. But so can judgmental nurses who act like the patient doesn't deserve care. I have seen that personally with my sister during her hospital visits. The look of disgust and disdain some of these people portray is just not right. I'm not saying your friend behaved this way. You mention that she is a sweet person so maybe she was totally respectful and the guy was just a jerk. Isn't that also true of sick people who are not addicted? Can't those people just be ugly too?
I realize it must be burdensome dealing with people who can't take any pain medicine except the kind that starts with D. I realize it must be frustrating dealing with the manipulative behaviors a drug addict engages in. I also realize that so many nurse claim to be giving total nonjudgmental care. I've seen too many nurses curl their lip when discussing a drug addict in room 122. I've seen too many nurses exhibit hurtful attitudes and comments while caring for a drug addict. The two realities just don't mesh.
I am but a lowly student. I really don't know jack. I may change my opinion in 10 years. Drug addicts deserve to be treated with the same respect as middle class patients. It doesn't matter if you're fed up with it or not.
To the OP, I really enjoyed your article.
No, no, no!! Dont blame the nurse
The nurse had urine thrown at her by an alert -although pissed- patient. Absolutely no excuse !!
You're right-- you don't know jack as a student Come talk to us about it when you've been a nurse a while
I'm still trying to see what throwing urine and a drug addict have in common? I think that's kinda the point the nurse's point of view of drug addicts not placing blame. Not every drug addict is uneducated, has lack of morals and behaves like they live in a zoo! Until people see the bigger issue here the war on drugs will continue to win.
I think that as long as we treat every addict like a helpless victim with no contribution to their circumstances or behavior that addiction will continue to grow. It's like a free pass to behave in any way because after all it isn't you, its the addiction talking/acting out/stealing/assaulting etc...
Specializes in ER - trauma/cardiac/burns. IV start spec.
Brenda, what a beautiful article. You need not feel vulnerable about it being public, many of us are pulling for you and your son. I hope he finds the help he needs and deserves.
For me it was an AIDS patient that had been an IV drug user. I met him my first month out of nursing school. I had already had plenty of drug seekers and I could spot them in triage. But back to my AIDS patient, I went into the treatment room to take his vitals. I grabbed the BP cuff while making conversation, learning his name, where he was from (Jamaica), that he had a steady companion and so on. When I tried to place the cuff on his arm he pulled away because I did not have on complete personal protection or gloves. I explained that for a BP I did not need them. He broke down in tears sobbing out loud. When I handed him a tissue I asked him what was wrong. He explained that no one had treated him with the kindness I had just showed. I was shocked. I could not understand. This was in 1993, we knew so much about AIDS by then but he had been treated like a leper by other nurses in the same ER I was working in at the time. I worked nights and he always make his friend wait until after 11PM to bring him in and they asked for me. I took care of him in the ER from then on until the last time he was admitted. Drugs gave him the disease, he overcame the addiction but paid a dear price.
That experience changed me. I made sure that when the drug seekers and addicts were in my rooms I kept my facial expressions soft and never let them see how I felt inside. In 9 and a half years I saw a lot of addicts but Zebedee changed me forever.
So sorry about your son. I can't imagine the pain, anger and frustration you must go through.
Personally I will never forget a very sweet couple back in the beginning of AIDS, before anybody really understood what it was and it was just labeled as a disease that only gay men and IV drug users got.
Jack's partner is the brother of an old friend, I met them at a family function. I later found out that Jack was an IV drug user and got AIDS from this. His partner would pick him up from his hospice care home and take him out to get drugs every pay day. His reasoning was if Jack OD'd from the drugs at least he would die doing something he never gave up and really enjoyed instead of wasting away and dying from complications of AIDS. I am pretty sure that home care places like he was in don't exist anymore. I am not sure if they knew what he was doing when he went out to do drugs, but they must have at least suspected. Sadly he died about 6 months after I met him. Fortunately his partner was never infected.
I think that as long as we treat every addict like a helpless victim with no contribution to their circumstances or behavior that addiction will continue to grow. It's like a free pass to behave in any way because after all it isn't you, its the addiction talking/acting out/stealing/assaulting etc...
That could be said about a multitude of diseases, no?
And most of the drug addicts/alcoholics I have encountered have survived the most horrendous circumstances NOT of their own doing.
Again, my struggle--If circumstances are gonna screw up one's children and send them out into the world when becoming an adult to fend for themselves, some will end up invested in the disease of addiction. Or any other of the multitude of addictive processes.
We can treat diabetics with a sugar issue, obesity with a food issue, mental illness with a compliance with meds issue, hypertension with a salt issue as bad behavior helpless victims...why is it just reserved for addicted people? Is that also a "free pass"?!
I appreciated this article. That had to be difficult to write about your son. Addiction is a whole other ball of wax than most diseases. I find that we don't have adequate ways of treating the person who has this horrible disease. And this is my other problem that I find especially among the medical community, lack of compassion especially for those battling mental illnesses. Until the stigma of mental illness is gone, addiction and other issues will not get the compassion and treatment they deserve. Some of the comments I read on here on not necessarily surprising, they just boggle my mind. The mind of an addict does not work like the rest of us. I went to a NA meeting last semester as part of my Psych clinical and it really opened my eyes to the world these people live in. And then you have to look at what is driving them to turn to drugs and alcohol to numb themselves from their feelings and emotions. With these people it is a recipe for disaster as far as I am concerned.
I cannot for life of me imagine why someone wants to turn to a drug or get drunk to escape their problems. But that is the difference, their minds are wired differently and it is hard for me to imagine. But does that mean at any time I should judge that person or not give them the proper care that they need? Absolutely not. This person does not need my judgement, they need me to do what I can to help and maybe help them overcome.
And while I agree addiction can hit anyone, it is more prevalent in those in poverty. One of the big reasons being people in poverty are trying to escape their lives in any way they can. Their escape ends up being drugs and alcohol. It's an affordable way to escape their lives which I am guessing is not too much fun. While having money does not solve all problems, it does make things a little easier. It takes away those little problems so you can focus and deal with the big ones head on. I'm glad that I don't have to worry about how I am going to have to feed my family or have to choose between my medication to get better or food to feed my son. Many people worry about this on a daily basis, I don't and that can free me up to worry about assignments for school this week and how I can deal with the latest disagreement between me and my ex. I am sure for the people that are overwhelmed with problems on a daily basis, popping a few Xanax or snorting some cocaine to not have to think about these issues for a while is probably welcoming.
I don't think when anyone is a child and they ask you in school what you want to be when you grow up, any person responds I want to be a drug addict or alcoholic. I don't think people enjoy addiction. And not only is it extremely difficult for the addict, the families are affected also. These addicts are somebody's child, a significant other, a mom or dad, a niece or a nephew, a grandchild, a best friend. There are people that care and want to see these people get better. Somewhere right now addiction is ripping a family apart, a parent is making the hardest decision of their lives on how to best deal with this situation, a wife or husband is trying to figure out if they should stay or leave. It's heartbreaking. And as people who go into this profession with hopefully the want of taking care of the sick and hoping to make a small impact, the nurse needs to be one of the most compassionate.
And yes, I'm a lowly student also, but I do know jack when it comes to this. I have personally seen alcoholism and drug addiction affect different members of my family. I have seen family members who have overcome and those who unfortunately haven't. I still hope that at some point the other family members can overcome.
A common phrase I hear is well, they were a drug seeker anyway, so what does it matter. Like they really didn't have a problem or need treatment. I also hear things that when someone who is viewed as an addict is somehow denied care that it is somehow a victory for those giving the treatment. I could not disagree with that viewpoint more.
OP, your article was wonderful. I hope that your son can get the help he needs and he can one day be victorious over his battle with addiction. I hope that little boy that you raised comes back to you and you can forge a new and wonderful relationship with him.
Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
So sorry about your son. I can't imagine the pain, anger and frustration you must go through. Personally I will never forget a very sweet couple back in the beginning of AIDS, before anybody really understood what it was and it was just labeled as a disease that only gay men and IV drug users got. Jack's partner is the brother of an old friend, I met them at a family function. I later found out that Jack was an IV drug user and got AIDS from this. His partner would pick him up from his hospice care home and take him out to get drugs every pay day. His reasoning was if Jack OD'd from the drugs at least he would die doing something he never gave up and really enjoyed instead of wasting away and dying from complications of AIDS. I am pretty sure that home care places like he was in don't exist anymore. I am not sure if they knew what he was doing when he went out to do drugs, but they must have at least suspected. Sadly he died about 6 months after I met him. Fortunately his partner was never infected.
One reason people get into and stay in poverty is often bad habits. Yes, it's a vicious cycle. But prosperous people have to have some habits that create that. Yes, wealthy people have substance abuse problems. And a lot of poor people grew up in poverty and bad neighborhoods which is a handicap right out of the gate. And don't forget genetic propensities for addiction. substance abuse runs in families, and studies show that it's not just environmental factors.
But, if one gambles away ones paycheck, that person will have a hard time staying solvent. Spending money on booze or drugs, not showing up for work the next day, that doesn't lead to success. The downward spiral and human tragedy then follows.
It's not a simple problem. Unfortunately, our country likes to spend money on foreign wars and propping up dictatorships abroad, rather than providing mental health assistance for our own hurting people.
FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I
3,619 Posts
This is a well written article by a brave, kind, compassionate person. I can see you have a broken heart, but you are a very brave lady to come out in the open like this. I for one appreciate your non judgmental attitude. Everyone, whether a drug addict, an alcoholic, a very smelly, unsightly person who looks like he or she is the victim of some sort of circumstance; whether his or her environment, or a trauma or the environment. Bless you dear.