Hate It

unicoRNurse · Oct 16, 2014

Are you able to identify what, specifically, it is that you hate? For instance, do you hate people, or do you hate feeling awkward and like you don't know how to do anything? Because one of those things will resolve itself with time and experience, and one will not.

RN403, BSN, RN · Oct 16, 2014

It takes time to become comfortable with your skills. You more than likely won't become comfortably in the clinical setting until long after you are a working nurse. It takes a while to build up confidence and performing even the most basic tasks.

Nursing school is way different than actually being a nurse. I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet. Your feelings are normal. Most people go through a variety of emotions while in nursing school and look forward to being done.

No one has the crystal ball answer but I would at least stick it out a little longer and give yourself some time to get better at things. Again, many people go through what you are feeling, myself included. I was not a huge fan of nursing school and found myself stumbling through some basic tasks. I now look back and am glad bi didn't give up. I love being a nurse.

Best wishes. Don't throw in the towel prematurely. Give yourself time.

akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P · Oct 16, 2014

Nursing School is a very different "world" from the normal work world, and really this is very true for most fields that require a formal course of study. When you're doing things for the first few times, you're going to be very uncomfortable precisely because it is the first few times you're doing it. I'm a new grad and I guarantee that there are things that I will be very uncomfortable doing on my own or even with a preceptor simply because I've not done them very often or it's been a while since I've done them last.

Beyond that, try to figure out what exactly it is about clinical that you find so distasteful that you hate it. There are things we all hated about clinical... in my case, I completely detested doing patient care plans. I became very, very good at doing them because I know why they're used, but that doesn't mean that I even remotely like doing them. I truly dislike working in isolation gowns. I'm actually quite comfortable working in the hazardous environment as I've done it for a while... but I still truly hate roasting & basting in those gowns and other associated gear.

Cleaning up patients? Done that... yes it can be completely and horribly disgusting, but you do it quickly & efficiently and move on to the next thing. It probably becomes less detestful if you've had your own kids as you've had a bit of exposure to that already. Do I particularly like it? No. It's part of the job and as I said in a post a long time ago (thread about patient cleaning) that everybody wipes the butt. It's not about me as much as it is about the patient being able to keep as much dignity as possible and if you got a crappy butt-crack because you can't clean yourself and nobody else helps you out with that, you're not exactly going to feel great about your whole situation.

I'm not saying you should continue or that you should throw in the towel... I'm saying that things will change after you're done and even your relationship with your instructors will change as you're no longer in a student-instructor relationship, it's more of a more experienced/less experienced peer relationship if you do complete school. Also, depending upon what kind of program you're in, completing a program with the appropriate degree may allow you to further your education along a different career path and obtain a different degree in a different field. Being an RN may also make you somewhat more marketable in that different field, depending upon what field it is...

Just something to consider...

llg, PhD, RN · Oct 16, 2014

I think unicoRNurse hit the nail on the head. You need to figure out what you hate exactly before you can know whether or not nursing is a good career fit for you. If you hate working with the people, hate being in a health care setting, etc. -- then that is not going to change with time and it would be best for you to get out now before you waste a lot of money on a degree that you won't use. Cut your losses.

But it you simply hate your clinical class because you hate being there without a well-defined role and/or a set of skills, etc. -- that's a different story. Students often feel awkward in clinicals -- like a 5th wheel. They often feel scared, nervous, inadequate, out-of-place, etc. because they are not skilled at what needs to be done, may not have a well-defined role, not integrated into the staff, and generally just hanging around feeling awkward. That may make you very uncomfortable and cause you to hate the experience of being a nursing student even though you might actually enjoy nursing someday.

Another thing to consider is the setting and patient population. Could it be that you just don't like this particular setting and group of patients? My clinical background is in NICU: I don't think I would ever like geriatrics or adult med/surg no matter how much experience and knowledge I had. I have always said that if I had to be an adult med/surg or geriatric nurse, I would probably leave nursing. Could it be that your interests in nursing lie in other types of nursing settings?

Think these through as you make your decision. Don't waste your resources getting a degree that you will not be happy with later. I cringe when I read posts by people who are looking for second careers -- who already have HUGE student loans from getting degrees they now regret. Don't do that to yourself: don't cripple yourself financially for decades because you felt obligated to finish your degree even though you no longer want the career. But don't quit lightly. Make sure you don't let dissatisfaction with your student experience blind you to what led you to choose nursing in the first place.

Could you take a leave of absence for a semester or two to think?

spaghetina · Oct 18, 2014

Coming from another current nursing student, I'm wondering if maybe your issue isn't so much about hating nursing as it is that you're uncomfortable not being immediately good at something. You mentioned that you've gotten straight-A's, and that you're doing fantastically in all of your academic nursing courses. I think sometimes, for people who are used to being high-achievers, it's difficult to wrap one's brain around learning something new and not "getting it" immediately. That feeling of failure, which is not really failure at all, but just a step in the learning process, can be difficult to shake. When it happens repeatedly in a clinical setting where you are already feeling uncomfortable because, honestly, it's strange being totally green and kind of left to your own devices to take on patient care in a well-oiled unit, it becomes even more difficult to stomach.

Personally, I experienced the same thing during my first quarter of clinicals. I was really questioning whether or not I had made the right decision in pursuing nursing because I never felt like I knew what I was doing, and everything I did do, I felt like I was doing wrong. Skills did not come easily to me, which was baffling because that was part of why I wanted to become a nurse in the first place - I love doing hands-on things, but I never felt competent in the skills lab either. Everything was just so new and foreign to me. I felt defeated and stupid all the time, and my anxiety would SKYROCKET every time I walked into a patient's room. Finally, as a last ditch effort to preserve my sanity, I forced myself to let go of whatever notions I had in my head about how well I was supposed to be doing, and just did stuff.I practiced when I could, watched videos when I could, but most importantly, I stopped putting so much pressure on myself to be good at things right away. It just wasn't a reasonable goal.

I'm happy to report that I hate nursing much less now. I still get overly anxious when I'm performing a skill I'm not proficient in, but I understand that I'm not meant to be an expert, or else I wouldn't be in school trying to learn it. I find that a lot of the skills I'm learning now are fun and interesting, and it's totally worthwhile to fumble through them at first in order to get to the point where maybe I'll be a rockstar at performing whatever it is, however long it takes me to get there.

So, I guess what I'm (longwindedly) saying is what others have said - if it's a confidence problem, it will get better with more practice, but that comes with time. If nursing is something you enjoy, aside from feeling like you're terrible at performing skills, keep at it.

Jen_Loves_Nursing · Oct 18, 2014

Maybe a respiratory program where there isn't as MUCH time with patients would be better for you? Or Health Care Adminstration?? You could go on to get your BSN and get a job OUT of clinical nursing, be the boss, deal with the nurses and CNAs instead??

Red Kryptonite · Oct 18, 2014

Requiring people to be CNAs before nursing school would alleviate that unfamiliarity with patient contact and discomfort with caring tasks.

Jen_Loves_Nursing · Oct 18, 2014

Requiring people to be CNAs before nursing school would alleviate that unfamiliarity with patient contact and discomfort with caring tasks.

I couldn't agree more.

rob4546, ADN, BSN, MSN · Oct 18, 2014

Nursing School is a very different "world" from the normal work world, and really this is very true for most fields that require a formal course of study. When you're doing things for the first few times, you're going to be very uncomfortable precisely because it is the first few times you're doing it. I'm a new grad and I guarantee that there are things that I will be very uncomfortable doing on my own or even with a preceptor simply because I've not done them very often or it's been a while since I've done them last.
Beyond that, try to figure out what exactly it is about clinical that you find so distasteful that you hate it. There are things we all hated about clinical... in my case, I completely detested doing patient care plans. I became very, very good at doing them because I know why they're used, but that doesn't mean that I even remotely like doing them. I truly dislike working in isolation gowns. I'm actually quite comfortable working in the hazardous environment as I've done it for a while... but I still truly hate roasting & basting in those gowns and other associated gear.
Cleaning up patients? Done that... yes it can be completely and horribly disgusting, but you do it quickly & efficiently and move on to the next thing. It probably becomes less detestful if you've had your own kids as you've had a bit of exposure to that already. Do I particularly like it? No. It's part of the job and as I said in a post a long time ago (thread about patient cleaning) that everybody wipes the butt. It's not about me as much as it is about the patient being able to keep as much dignity as possible and if you got a crappy butt-crack because you can't clean yourself and nobody else helps you out with that, you're not exactly going to feel great about your whole situation.
I'm not saying you should continue or that you should throw in the towel... I'm saying that things will change after you're done and even your relationship with your instructors will change as you're no longer in a student-instructor relationship, it's more of a more experienced/less experienced peer relationship if you do complete school. Also, depending upon what kind of program you're in, completing a program with the appropriate degree may allow you to further your education along a different career path and obtain a different degree in a different field. Being an RN may also make you somewhat more marketable in that different field, depending upon what field it is...
Just something to consider...

This is pretty much it. I wanted to reinforce that nursing school is nothing like real life nursing. If your stress comes from tasks like cleaning up patients after "accidents" then maybe you are right. Even though you will be an RN you will still have to clean patients.

Can't say I loved nursing school, but I am absolutely love being a nurse. You need to determine now your view.

ImLovingIt · Oct 19, 2014

Wow. Thank you so much for your responses!

I am not a CNA. Our school doesn't let us do direct cares in clinicals, so I haven't done any of that stuff yet. If I don't drop out, I plan on taking a CNA class over the winter break. I'm not thrilled about that aspect of the job, but I do realize that I will become more comfortable with those tasks with time.

I do put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. I have no experience with any aspect of health care. I probably compare myself too much with my classmates' abilities (who seem to have all worked in some aspect of healthcare before).

I guess I'll have to think about it some. I emailed my advisor if I could take time off and come back in a semester or two. I'm just waiting for her response. Once I know the options, I can work from there. However, I think I'll finish the semester and drop out. I'm an older student who had a successful career (that I hated) that I can always return to.

Central BSN, RN · Oct 19, 2014

I would save the money and stop attending if you dislike it when you've only had your toe in the water why waste anymore time and money in something you don't enjoy.