I just wonder if it's my age or if being a nurse has turned me into a person who can't take crap like I used to. I guess I've always kind of been a little "edgy" but I never used to show it, I'd wait until I was alone to get riled up and fighting mad.
Now, I let it out wherever.
I was at the grocery store yesterday, and I have been without one of those "discount" cards for awhile, so I asked for another one. It was this snotty old woman behind the counter, and she was being downright rude and argumentive. To make a long story short, I ended up telling her off in a loud booming voice and telling her where she could put that discount card. I noticed her demeanor changed when she saw me get angry but I still called the manager when I got home.
And I'm writing a letter today, too.
I went from a quiet, bumbling, good-natured person to Annie Wilkes in the blink of an eye...and I don't regret it.
I would never tell off a cashier. They get paid minimum wage to deal with all kinds of horrible, unreasonable people all day. If one of them is being rude to me I finish the transaction and move on with my day. Customers who carry on and make a scene disgust me.
This is just my opinion. If she was rude and argumentative, you had a right to get angry and assert yourself. I know that cashiers are supposed to be nicey-nice all the time- it's part of their job. But I've stood in line behind too many people who immediately start acting like 2-year-olds when they don't get what they want. I've also been on the receiving end of that. A lot of people seem to think that because you have a menial job that you're worthless as a person- especially men (in my experience). I'm shy and soft-spoken. I was a clerk until I was 21 and one of the worst parts of the job was dealing with men for whom politeness was not enough. I was supposed to be perky and flirt with them. I don't flirt with anyone! I don't even know how. But they would get in my face. They think that they're entitled to whatever they want. You're not only supposed to ring up their stuff and give them their change- you have to make them feel like they're the greatest thing since sliced bread. It's dumb. Well I went off on a tangent but IMO flipping out on a cashier is not something to be proud of.
Absolutely it has! Just the act of "womaning-up" and taking responsibility for the actions I take involving a person's life... and we are exposed to so many wrenching emotional situations most people do not encounter in their work-lives. Oftentimes I think, If I can do that, I can do anything. I've definitely become more assertive and a better listener when it comes to those taboo topics like death and grief.
I've always had two sides to my personality- I can be sweet and kind when I feel that others aren't trying to take advantage of me and I can also be assertive. I'm not afraid to stand up for myself...no matter the situation ( I stood up to a Doctor the other day who thought he could treat me like scum...he apologized later on in the shift:wink2:).
One thing I hope Nursing does not turn me into is Nurse Ratched/a hothead. I know another poster had mentioned firing back at a cashier. I don't want to become an embittered soul. It's one thing to stand up for yourself but it's a whole different story when you find yourself yelling at some service person behind the counter (because at that point you've become 'that patient' whom we all loathe).
I've always been impressed with people who don't have to scream and shout to get what they want. They might be visibly upset but instead of lowering themselves to the other's level, they use their words (and I'm not talking curse words) to get what they want. That's the kind of person I want to continue to be and I sincerely hope that Nursing doesn't change that.
I used to take more crap. I don't anymore. Life's too short for you to treat me badly. A mean spirited NA (who thinks she's God, but don't get me started) used to upset me when she'd make snippy little comments about "gee, that color doesn't really go that well with your hair, does it?" or "You need to let the hem out in your scrubs, you've gained so much weight your pants look too short." BTW, I've lost 25 pounds since I became a nurse, so...Now when she starts up, I tell her, "Well, gee, you're lookin' pretty hag like yourself...."
I may have to put up with crap at work (literal and figuratively), but when I'm not wearing my scrubs, don't try to give me crap, because you'll get it right back. I worked retail for years when I was in school, and I've done the job. And I've seen way, way too many cashiers and "customer disservice" folks who use their thimble full of power like they own a small country. You WILL treat me with the respect owed any stranger, or you're going to have a bad, bad day.
So, yeah, it's changed me. My BS tolerance level is pretty much zero outside the job. But other things -- like a nick in the paint on my car, or a neighbor accidently backing over my favorite shrub and killing it (and it was an accident, he bought a camping trailer and was just learning to pull it, and he replaced the shrub) -- that doesn't bother me. If it's not bleeding, turning blue, or having a seizure, it's all good....
Being a nurse has changed my perspective on "being old". I used to think "old" was when someone has reached 40. But now, I don't think someone is "old old" until they reach 80. Anyone below 80 to me now is "Young and fabulous"
I believe nursing has given me the confidence to deal with all sorts of things. I travel all over the world and usually by myself (although I meet people once there). I feel I can handle most situations or at least figure out how to get out of the bad ones. And no, I am not independently wealthy. Traveling is a priority and I save all year, wear clothes from discount stores, drive a used small car and, take advantage of low fees on airlines and trains and B&B, then have a ball somewhere else once or twice year.
Well nothing grosses me out anymore for one thing. Another is I have become more assertive. I stand up for myself more when I feel threatened/taken advantage of/walked all over/treated unfairly or badly. This has lead to a couple tifs with colleagues but I always try to resolve things with them later . After all we will be working together. I just dislike my tendency to feel guilty and then have to apologize or resolve the issue first (even if it isn't my wrong-doing really or both of ours) because my colleagues will either sweep it under the rug, act passive-aggressive or oblivious. I need to work on that and just let things roll off my back .....
There is nothing like working with a bunch of nurses to find out your own weaknesses! We are not shy about telling one another about screw-ups. However, I appreciate that honesty, if it is fairly given.
For me the thing is that since I have to meet such high standards at work, ie: be the best waitress, most vigilant nurse etc, that I want the people I come in contact with to provide the best service to me.
For example: since I rarely get breaks at work, don't have time to hardly pee, and end up eating cold food because a patient needs something, I want food perfect when I eat out. Not too hot, not too cold, but perfect.
I must say that usually these expectations are met. But if they are not I simply vote with my feet and leave and don't go back.
It is pretty rare that I get bad customer service. I have noticed that I get better customer service when I am dressed better. Therefore, if I am buying something and know I will need help, I dress "sharply" before I go shopping.
And yes being a nurse has really made a big change in my life. My husband says I have become way more "take charge" and assertive (not something he really wanted to see happen)
It has opened up my eyes to the violence and bad stuff in life, but also to the miracles and kindness. It has matured me and made me a better rounded person and made me appreciate health and the people in my life more. I take better care of both now.
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
Oh, I'm definitely not the mouseburger I was before I became a nurse. But then, I'm older now too, and I just don't care as much about what people "might" think of me when I protest bad service, rudeness, or policies I feel are wrong. Age is very liberating that way!
It takes a lot and I mean a lot for me to care enough to say anything to someone about their customer service. However, if someone does reach that level of bad service that something must be said I will say it in a polite, but firm way. I do not usually curse (unless I am trying not to cry and God help you if I get to that point). Since becoming a nurse I do not let the little things bother me so much.
**All Heart RN**
260 Posts
You said it so well...Thank you!