Hanging Out with Coworkers Outside of Work

[SilverBells]

At work, sometimes we tend to get friendly with some of our coworkers, especially if we have worked with each other for a long period of time.  Sometimes this leads to gatherings and outings after hours and on the weekends. 

However, this does lead to a few questions. For instance, would some of you consider such outings to be problematic or unprofessional?  What if the gatherings consist of only one manager, while the other attendees fulfill nonsupervisory rolls? Have any if you attended such gatherings? If so, did it affect your work performance? 

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

On 5/2/2022 at 6:33 AM, klone said:

Okay, but you also cut out the first part of my post:

 

That included meeting at the local bar on Friday afternoon for happy hour, gathering at someone else's house for a baby shower, etc. So my post still stands.

You're in the lucky few, many have had the 'boss buddy' situation bite them in the hiney

[Davey Do]

27 minutes ago, Hoosier_RN said:

many have had the 'boss buddy' situation bite them in the hiney

Please, Hoosier: Do tell.

[Hoosier_RN, MSN]

38 minutes ago, Davey Do said:

Please, Hoosier: Do tell.

My most recent boss ( now former boss) was letting her bar buddies get away with various things, so it seemed-real or imagined, and the rest of us had to go by the rules. A surprise visit made by upper management after a call made by a patient, saw the boss walked out our clinic, demoted. 

The last time I worked in a hospital, the med surg director had her faves that she hung out with after work. After multiple complaints, as well as not being able to keep staff, she was 'transitioned' to another role. Soon, her buddies transferred out, as the new director wasn't impressed with them. 

Just to name a couple

[Davey Do]

10 minutes ago, Hoosier_RN said:

My most recent boss ( now former boss) was letting her bar buddies get away with various things

Thanks for the do-tell tales, Hoosier.

The above situation reminds me of a similar circumstance at Wrongway years ago:

I wrote a tech up for insubordination and other misdemeanors years ago. As he was the drinking buddy of one of the supervisors, nothing was done.

Sometime later, an adolescent patient's parents filed a complaint with the director, saying the tech had done something inappropriate during a restraint. The video was reviewed, the complaint was found to be legit, and the tech was terminated.

Had the tech's behavior been checked earlier on, perhaps the inappropriate behavior would have never occurred.

The drinking buddy supervisor didn't last long in her role either, but I don't remember the details of her demise.

There were lots of staff/patient interaction/behavior problems on both the child and adolescent psych units. Last I heard through the grapevine some time ago, Wrongway closed both of those units.

 

[Melinda De Cicco]

The ward l work on, the NUM has a personal relationship with an EN. They are best friends. I find this so unprofessional for the ward on all levels. Firstly you can’t complain against the EN the NUM is friends with. She allows her to sit in the office even during Team Meets and confindential phone calls. The EN knows the running of the ward before the ANUMS. It’s so unprofessional she will leave the ward just after rounding in the afternoon and won’t come back to the floor.  Many of my coworkers see this as a personal conflict of interest and one of them should move to another department. Several staff have left because of this but management continue to do nothing about it. ~frustrated 

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I see nothing wrong with coworkers hanging out together socially.    But managers and leaders should not hang out on a social basis with people they supervise unless it's an event like a holiday get together.  

[2BS Nurse, BSN]

"My current workplace does a quarterly "forced fun" event"

I would put this in the category of attending a retirement party, holiday party, etc. In these cases I'm OK attending but I typically leave early. I have also met a coworker one-on-one for coffee, but she is someone I trust completely. I've had trust issues and back-stabbing within nurses' stations, so it's hard for me to develop trust with coworkers. I do have a rule of avoiding alcohol consumption with groups of colleagues. This always results in a bad outcome.

[Davey Do]

20 minutes ago, 2BS Nurse said:

"My current workplace does a quarterly "forced fun" event"

I hate it when they say things like, "You'll have fun OR ELSE!"

21 minutes ago, 2BS Nurse said:

 I do have a rule of avoiding alcohol consumption with groups of colleagues.

Wise.

[HiddenAngels]

I personally choose not to hang out and sometimes I feel bad saying no.  But I still choose not to anyway.  I'd rather hang out with other ppl I don't work with, some nurses some not.

Reason being is, I did this once and I saw something shocking from someone I respected after they had had waaaay too many.  It was hard for me to respect that person who was in a leadership role afterwards, (and not just me).

 We try so hard not to be judgey but I think it's unconscious sometimes.

[Beausoleil]

On 4/30/2022 at 8:39 PM, SilverBells said:

At work, sometimes we tend to get friendly with some of our coworkers, especially if we have worked with each other for a long period of time.  Sometimes this leads to gatherings and outings after hours and on the weekends. 

However, this does lead to a few questions. For instance, would some of you consider such outings to be problematic or unprofessional?  What if the gatherings consist of only one manager, while the other attendees fulfill nonsupervisory rolls? Have any if you attended such gatherings? If so, did it affect your work performance? 

Hmm… Are you the “one manager” in attendance at these hypothetical gatherings? If so, is it affecting some aspect of your work? If it’s not about you, are you asking these questions with a specific situation in mind involving coworkers? If either of these is the case, I don’t know about everyone else but I know I give much better feedback when I have something to grab onto. ?

[SilverBells, BSN]

22 minutes ago, Beausoleil said:

Hmm… Are you the “one manager” in attendance at these hypothetical gatherings? If so, is it affecting some aspect of your work? If it’s not about you, are you asking these questions with a specific situation in mind involving coworkers? If either of these is the case, I don’t know about everyone else but I know I give much better feedback when I have something to grab onto. ?

Yes.  There have been a couple of instances where I have gotten together with people I work with.  All of them are either floor nurses or HUCs; I am the only one in a supervisory position.  I don't believe it has affected my ability to perform my job, but not sure if others might see it as me showing favoritism.   I was wondering what others thought. 

[MPKH, BSN, RN]

I do not make friends at work, and I only go to professional social events. I’ll go to the unit Christmas party but you won’t catch me hanging out with coworkers without a professional reason.