Handling rude co workers

[TurtleN84]

Anybody else ever had to deal with rude co workers? I have no idea what I have ever done to these females. This one in particular is the charge nurse. If I ask her one little thing, the look on her face is as if she'd rather die than talk to me. I really don't understand it. She trained me for goodness sake & was very friendly in the beginning. I went on vacation, came back & if looks could kill...Another nurse, in started with, she was cool at first, too, but now since her & the charge nurse have gotten tight, she walks around rolling her eyes at me, too. I don't understand it at all. I come to work, do my job, don't talk crap about anyone, yet I get mean-mugged. I try not to let it bother me, but of course it's going to bother me, especially because I don't know what I did to them! It makes a 12 hr shift extremely unpleasant. Should I ask them what's their problem with me? Or just do my 12 hrs, get out of there & forget about them?

[Rvanurse2012]

Sometimes I have found that people just are not the best communicators and generally interact in a aggressive manner just because this is who they are as a person it's not personal. Other times some people just don't care and will be aggressive and interact inappropriate even with intervention and redirection.

-Dustin

[chiandre]

Ahhh...welcome to the hazing in nursing. The rudeness is because there is something about you that they are jealous about. When I started in nursing, one of the nurses came up to me and told me that she will never like me. At first, I was devastated but then I realized THAT is her problem. I ignored her and interacted with the positive nurses. In the end, she became one of my best friends.

My suggestion about the best way to handle rude nurses is to point out their rudeness to them. If that does not work, make it a point to ignore them. Interact with them only when necessary. I know this is childish, but by continuing to allow the offensive behavior, you are actually giving them the power to continue the rudeness.

Finally, this behavior is learned so make sure not to treat the next new nurse like that. Become more assertive and less shy. Speak up whenever these rude nurses start picking on another nurse.

My mother taught me that if everybody likes me then I am not a good person.

Good Luck!

[heron, ASN, RN]

All this because the OP doesn't like the look on someone's face?

I have a mouth that naturally turns down at the corners ... I've been told that I look unfriendly, stern or angry when all that's really going on is that I'm not smiling at that particular moment. (It's hilarious because, on the job, I'm a marshmallow - dancing all around O'Houlihan's barn to stay non-confrontational.)

Does that make me rude?

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

1) Tell them if they keep rolling their eyes, they may find a brain back there.

2) Go buy a really tacky pair of underwear, write one of their names in it, and hand it to her while telling her you found it in the staff restroom.

3) Leave a note on their car that says, "I know what you did".

4) Find out where they live & order a ton of random magazines under their name, like "Field & Stream".

DO NOT DO ANY OF THE ABOVE THINGS.

I have a history of being overly assertive to the point that it alienates people more. I suggest asking if there is eye rolling, etc., rather than accusing if you want to confront the behavior. Also, humor seems to unite...could you try that? I imagine your goal is to unite, not divide; keep that goal in mine as you decide on a course of action. Or toilet paper their houses...whatever :-)

[TriciaJ, RN]

When people are behaving like silly adolescents, I find a lot of power in being the calm adult: "Is there a reason you just rolled your eyes at me? Are you aware that you do it a lot? Perhaps you don't realize how unprofessional it looks. Is there something specific you'd like to tell me or ask me?" When you confront them very calmly, they usually get the message and the problem behaviours stop.

On the other hand, some people are just annoying because they have poor social skills. Not a pleasure to work with, but since they likely don't mean it personally it's best not to take it that way. By the way, I do like the underwear suggestion.

[suanna]

Lots of advice , but I have the same problem with 2-3 co-workers. I've gone out of my way to try to be more pleasant to them than anyone else just in case I gave the wrong vibe one day and they took it badly. No luck so far. The problem is Haters gotta Hate!

If a fellow nurse is going to treat a coworker like a snotty asolescent at a JR High dance, I don't see any thing you say or do having much of an impact. The only thing I would suggest, is if there is a person you can trust for a straight answer- I'd ask them if there is something you are doing or saying that is earning you the emnity of some people. I once worked with one of the laziest, most poorly organized nurses I've ever seen come out of nursing school. As a result, she constantly dodged assignments, was never able to help when the place fell apart, and could be depended on to call off like a grill jockey at McDs one or two weekend shifts each mos. Problem was- she thought she was Gods gift to nursing, and was dumbfounded that some staff treated her with some degree of disrespect. I AM NOT SAYING THAT YOU ARE IN ANY WAY LIKE THIS NURSE!!!, but you may be doing something little that is violating the mores of this particular unit. A friend may be willing to tell you what's up and it may be something you could change to make everyone happier.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Do nothing, don't acknowledge them, and you will suffer. Assert yourself, put them on notice, and you will suffer. It could go as far as you eventually losing your job. This generalized childish behavior is one reason why women have a hard time gaining respect in the professional work place.

The reason women have a hard time gaining respect in the professional work place is because other women don't respect them. While I agree that the behavior described by the OP was childish and unprofessional, misogyny won't make anything any better.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

All this because the OP doesn't like the look on someone's face?

I have a mouth that naturally turns down at the corners ... I've been told that I look unfriendly, stern or angry when all that's really going on is that I'm not smiling at that particular moment. (It's hilarious because, on the job, I'm a marshmallow - dancing all around O'Houlihan's barn to stay non-confrontational.)

Does that make me rude?

All this because the OP doesn't like the look on someone's face . . . which is just as childish as the behavior he described.

[heron, ASN, RN]

All this because the OP doesn't like the look on someone's face . . . which is just as childish as the behavior he described.

Yep, but ... oh, well. It took me years to get over my "Please like me" neurosis. As it is, I'm still criticized (good naturedly) by one co-worker for being too nice.

Still, it bugs me that, according to the majority of opinion in this thread, it seems that now we have to practice good eye control and phoney smiles in order to be acceptable co-workers.

Kind of reminds me of the old dating manuals from the fifies, when women were encouraged to smile a lot and pretend to be interested in sports or cars or whatever in the interests of "catching a man".

Hmmm ... come to think of it ...

[tcooks7]

Sometimes I have found that people just are not the best communicators and generally interact in a aggressive manner just because this is who they are as a person it's not personal. Other times some people just don't care and will be aggressive and interact inappropriate even with intervention and redirection.

-Dustin

Yeah, ah, but they started off cool with me. Very friendly & informative...

[tcooks7]

All this because the OP doesn't like the look on someone's face?

I have a mouth that naturally turns down at the corners ... I've been told that I look unfriendly, stern or angry when all that's really going on is that I'm not smiling at that particular moment. (It's hilarious because, on the job, I'm a marshmallow - dancing all around O'Houlihan's barn to stay non-confrontational.)

Does that make me rude?

i don't like the look on their face when it's directed at me for no apparent reason. If I did something to them to make them all of a sudden not like me, then let me know. Don't walk around mean mugging me, especially at work. I understand that not everyone has to like everybody else, but for the sake of your job, which requires teamwork, then we should leave our attitudes at the door. And I'm sure their eyes aren't rolling because they can't help it, like your mouth, unfortunately

[morte, LPN, LVN]

i don't like the look on their face when it's directed at me for no apparent reason. If I did something to them to make them all of a sudden not like me, then let me know. Don't walk around mean mugging me, especially at work. I understand that not everyone has to like everybody else, but for the sake of your job, which requires teamwork, then we should leave our attitudes at the door. And

I'm sure their eyes aren't rolling because they can't help it, like your mouth, unfortunately

hmmm.... now we may be seeing the genesis of your problem!