grrr! gossiping, I cant stand it!!!

emsmom06 · Oct 11, 2007

I know exactly what you mean!! Everyone in my department is talking about everyone else! I even had a fellow nurse run and tell a doctor that I called him a "bad word" behind his back! She's supposed to have my back, not trying to stab me in it! Grrrr!!!

Lindsey

al7139, ASN, RN · Oct 11, 2007

Hi,

I am a new grad, and can relate to alot of this thread. I work the 3-11pm shift, and when I first started on th efloor, I heard rumors about certain nurses on nights who would eat the new people alive. I have a pretty strong personality, but being the new kid on the block was still hard because I was scared to stand up to these people for a long time. After a few weeks, and some times when I volunteered to work doubles to fill in for call outs, etc. I found that while they were mabye not so nice at first, once I got to know them, they weren't so bad. I personally hate gossip, and try my best not to be involved in the gossip that I hear about other nurses I work with. If people are gossiping, I try to move to another location to work, or if I am asked directly about a person, I respond with a positive, and don't feed into the negativity. Unfortunately this will always be an issue. I am sure people gossip about me when I am not there, but the bottom line is that I always try to keep my side of the street clean, don't get involved in other peoples vendettas, am straightforward and own up to my little mistakes (which people like to blow out of proportion), fix any issue that I need to so it's not left for the oncoming shift (even if it means staying late), and am willing to help out another team member (whether it's another nurse or even a NA who can't get to that pt calling for a bedpan). I have found that when I have worked overnight with these people, they are really not so bad after all, and one person in particular is now a great support at work when I have questions (to the amazement of the other nurses), because I refused to let her walk all over me and stood up to her. Go figure! You just have to learn how to handle them, and not let yourself get involved in the petty stuff.

Amy

RoyalNurse · Oct 12, 2007

I have fought this gossiping for the past two months that I've been on orientation, and I found some tips here that I'm going to try!

socalpca · Oct 12, 2007

Why do nurses have the need to gossip?? I cant stand it. Im a new grad started my new hob a month ago and already nurses are talking about me behind my back. why?? I know alot of nurses have dealt with this but what do they do? Im thinking of working registry so I dont have to deal with this! Need some advice!

I'm trying to help, but you need to know that wherever you go, whatever you do, people will talk. It's not just in the nursing field. It's human nature for people to talk and gossip. If what people are saying can reflect badly on you to your superiors and it's not true, then you have the right to challenge what they are saying. If they are talking about "all the new kids" or how they "don't like students," then it's kind of the grin-and-bear-it situation.

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 12, 2007

Why do nurses have the need to gossip?? I cant stand it. Im a new grad started my new hob a month ago and already nurses are talking about me behind my back. why?? I know alot of nurses have dealt with this but what do they do? Im thinking of working registry so I dont have to deal with this! Need some advice!

Don't feed the roaches and they will go on to someone else.

If you don't give the gossips anything to work with, they lose interest.

allieshannon · Oct 12, 2007

i have heard that call centers and hospitals are the worst places as far as gossiping is concerned. i currently work at a bank's call center to pay for my nursing school and i believe every word of it. like everyone else has mentioned, don't give them anything to talk about and kill them with kindness. it works for most people here. also, it seems like all the little gossiping groups also gossip behind each others own backs and seems they would learn there lesson. hopefully dealing with that same stuff here will prepare me for when i reach the hospial i hope! my advice is to find some really good non-gossiping nurses to befriend.

newlvngrad · Oct 13, 2007

Actually thats exactly what I want. I want to go to work and not be bothered. I dont need to socialize I have my friends outside of work. Im learning to not let it get to me. Im realizing that they are just insecure people and lead very boring lives. thanks for your reply.

lenjoy03, RN · Oct 13, 2007

Actually thats exactly what I want. I want to go to work and not be bothered. I dont need to socialize I have my friends outside of work. Im learning to not let it get to me. Im realizing that they are just insecure people and lead very boring lives. thanks for your reply.

actually, I don't agree on that part. Even if you have friends outside, you still need to socialize with people in your work setting! It's really lonely! And if you need or want to ask someone about something, it would really mean alot if you have someone to ask to. Like for example if there's a new info or protocol in your work and you were not informed, it pays off to ask a friend whom you can trust. Because if you don't socialize with them, some would be selfish to tell you what's going on! Hope you got my point!

caroladybelle, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

actually, I don't agree on that part. Even if you have friends outside, you still need to socialize with people in your work setting! It's really lonely! And if you need or want to ask someone about something, it would really mean alot if you have someone to ask to. Like for example if there's a new info or protocol in your work and you were not informed, it pays off to ask a friend whom you can trust.

What you are describing is not socializing it is "networking". The difference is that one frequently networks with people that one does not particularly like...one rarely truly "socializes" with them.

You do not have to really like who you work with, but you need to be able to respect and trust them and find them to be dependable resources. Unfortunately, not all of the people that you may socialize with are dependable resources....we all have a few codependant friends that we may love dearly as people, but would no more loan our car to or let care for our kids, because they just are not capable of those things.

Frequently the most fair and uncompromising care comes from those that are not very "friendly" with others. They are less likely to let personal alliances corrupt their judgement.

FireStarterRN, BSN, RN · Oct 13, 2007

actually, I don't agree on that part. Even if you have friends outside, you still need to socialize with people in your work setting! It's really lonely! And if you need or want to ask someone about something, it would really mean alot if you have someone to ask to. Like for example if there's a new info or protocol in your work and you were not informed, it pays off to ask a friend whom you can trust. Because if you don't socialize with them, some would be selfish to tell you what's going on! Hope you got my point!

I agree. It's important to socially acknowledge co-workers, and this sometimes includes hearing about their troubles with their spouse, teenager, or another co-worker. Also, you can get some perspective about the people around you from hearing the opinions of others. It's good to have confidantes at work. These alliances are important and one way to maintain them is to discuss people and situations.

neko11111 · Oct 17, 2007

Unfortunately, this happens no matter where you go..... It used to drive me crazy - literally- :angryfire

but one thing I've learned is that - if you don't get involved in it, and ignore all of that crap - life is good!

People who gossip - are not happy with themselves, and are insecure. So - they find someone else to direct attention to - so that they don't feel bad about themselves.

Too much energy and effort is wasted on this - good energy that could be given to the sick patients - you know, helping them to get well?

But yes - there is always one or two rotten apples in the bunch!

Tweety, BSN, RN · Oct 18, 2007

I agree. It's important to socially acknowledge co-workers, and this sometimes includes hearing about their troubles with their spouse, teenager, or another co-worker. Also, you can get some perspective about the people around you from hearing the opinions of others. It's good to have confidantes at work. These alliances are important and one way to maintain them is to discuss people and situations.

I definately agree. It's part of being a self-actualized adult to learn how to play well with others, and where to draw lines.

I'm working beside these folks 40 hours a week of my life, 8 or 12 long hours a day and many people I've known for 15 years, surely I'm going to talk to them and not just show up and "mind my business because I'm there for the patients and not to soclialize". I know where to draw the line. I don't get deep and personal with details about them or myself. We have baby showers, monthly pot lucks for birthdays, and are there for each other during tough times as well.

Most humans are social beings, we naturally are interested in each other and sharing our lives.

Naturally I'm not talking about gossip.