Im a new grad, with a new job, 21 yrs old and very young looking. Many of the nurses are irritated when I ask them questions and dont seem to want to help me.
I was giving an enema to a patient that this CNA told me had not had a bowel movement in 7 days. So she was due for an enema. Nothing is coming out. CNA looks at me and says, you dont have any experience, do you know what you're doing? She later tells me she read her CNA notes wrong that she accidently read someone else's notes.
I'm a passive person and I'm always scared of making myself seem like a mean nurse if I boss people around.
But it seems like a lot of people question my authority.
To make matters worse, I went in to apply for a job today. Filled out the application, and asked to speak to the DON. The 2 secretaries looked at me bizarrely like I was crazy. They said I should have made an appointment. Anyway, the DON comes out screaming at me in front of the kitchen staff, residents, a doctor, 2 secretaries, marketing and some other people because I showed up w/o an appointment. And all I wanted was to say hi to her for 2 minutes. I stormed out of the place crying. She said, "good get out of here!!!" I'm shaken up by all of this..
About 2 weeks ago, I flew across the US just for a job interview. They were supposed to give me a yes or a no today by email or phone. Nothing. I couldn't even reach them. I thought that I was polite, nice and answered the questions well (not perfectly but fairly well). However I was nervous, very nervous. I was sweating throughout this interview. And now I dont even get the respect of an email from them.
I start to think to myself that I struggle with people. I struggle reading people's faces and can't seem to get anywhere because no one likes me. Plus, I can't tell if people like me from their face. My old nursing prof. told me once, "you are very smart and you did your best, but I can tell you struggle with people." She was right.
Im so shaken up after being humiliated today like that.
She said the state was there and she doesn't have time...
I am still confused what I did wrong.....
That's what you did wrong. Don't interrupt a DON during an interview with the state. This is very rude and unprofessional, as this is a highly stressful time for a DON.
She was yelling at me because she thought that I thought I was someone very special. And I really am friends with one of her friends. That wasn't a lie. She didn't say anything about the state.; the secretary did so Im not sure if it was even about that.
said, I know and I will fill it out but is it ok if I see her. She said the state was there and she doesn't have time. I said I'll wait... ( I drove fifty some miles here, wasn't about to go home) That secretary went on break. I asked another one, the same thing went on and she asked me specifically what I want to talk to her about. I felt like it was kind of personal for her to ask me that so I didn't tell her
1. You were told it was not a good time.
2. You decided that you had driven 50 miles to see her so you were not going to leave - this gives the impression that YOUR time is more important than HERS>
3. When the first secretary left, you tried again. Even though you knew from the first secretary that this was NOT a good time.
4. You did not devulge your visit purpose to the secretary whose job is to screen visitors, etc so that the DON's time is not wasted because you felt it was not her position to know. That shows disregard for the secreatary's job.
You pretended that you knew that DON personally. You interuppted her during an important time/meeting. No wonder she was upset.
Basically your overstepped your bounds here. The next time you are told that a DON is too busy to see you, make an appointment.
You sound like a mixed up young lady. Do some research and learn some job interview skills. Good luck finding a job as the market is rough. I would not have hired you if you showed up without an appointment at the DON office...good luck.
Be a research nurse so you don't have to deal with people much. People skills develop with experience and time. Just be patient with yourself. other people will always try to make you doubt your ability. So just don't doubt yourself and stand up for yourself.
She was yelling at me because she thought that I thought I was someone very special. And I really am friends with one of her friends. That wasn't a lie. She didn't say anything about the state.; the secretary did so Im not sure if it was even about that.
But its over Im just going to forget about it.
Thank you all for your help.
chiuli, are you from the u.s.?
the reason i ask, is because some of your actions, lack very basic manners/principles that most people your age, would understand by now.
if you are from another country where the culture is vastly different, then maybe i could understand better.
i agree, that perhaps seeing a therapist about your father abandoning you, would definitely be helpful.
(and i'm sorry that happened to you...i understand and sympathize with your insecurities.)
being a friend of a friend, makes little to no difference...
unless the friend personally contacts the DON, and speaks to her about you.
besides, before anything can potentially happen, you need to fill out the application, first and foremost.
please, don't ever try and see someone unannounced.
make an appointment.
show respect for their time, position, and responsibilities.
She was yelling at me because she thought that I thought I was someone very special. And I really am friends with one of her friends. That wasn't a lie. She didn't say anything about the state.; the secretary did so Im not sure if it was even about that.
But its over Im just going to forget about it.
Thank you all for your help.
When state is in the building I don't have time for my own Mother if she were to walk in the door.
I also would not ever feel obligated to explain to a stranger who did not have an appointment WHY I am to busy to see them. It's really none of your business.
Please also consider, just because you say you are a friend of a friend doesn't really mean you are. You would be very surprised to see how many people pull that lie that only casually know the mutual party.
But, if the DON was really yelling at you in front of all of these people than that was pretty inappropriate too. I do suspect tho, that she was probably just short and to the point with you and because of insecurities you took this as "yelling".
In the future, play by the "rules". Fill out the application, use your mutual friend as a reference and schedule an appointment. Be polite but not demanding of every employee you encounter during this process. My secretary is well versed in who I am gonna like and who I'm not. She does a great job of weeding people out at the door & I trust her completely. You never know when you may run into a secretary just like mine!
Specializes in Professional Development Specialist.
You really need to put yourself in the DON's position. It's a highly stressful position and people are CONSTANTLY walking in trying to find a way past the secretary to sell you something or get a job or a million other things. Then imagine the most stressful day of all, that state is in the building. Not something the DON would mentioned, but also not something a receptionist would lie about.
Then in the middle of all that stress, someone is sitting there trying to pass themselves off as important enough that they should be seen despite all that. So the DON is trying to find a way to squeeze in 2 seconds and instead of eating or going to the bathroom she comes to see you. Instead of what she is led to expect she finds someone who knows someone she knows who just wants a job. Not someone that the "friend" called her about and said "hey, I know a great nurse you should interview." Just someone who decided to use a name and picked a bad time. If this was your day, you'd be angry too. Maybe she didn't react well, and that's probably a sign you wouldn't want to work there anyway. But she isn't entirely in the wrong.
I got my job by walking in and filling out applications. But I never tried to interrupt the DON. New grads are a dime a dozen and my time wasn't important to her no matter how far I'd driven. I respected my future bosses time by filling out the app and then calling later. Good luck to you in the future. It took me a long time to figure people out, but a lot of it comes with age.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
She said the state was there and she doesn't have time. I said I'll wait...I am still confused what I did wrong.....
The bolded is what you did wrong.
The state board and/or the Joint Commission was there doing a survey, and you think a walk-in interview that she did not schedule or know about should trump that?
People skills develop with experience and time. Just be patient with yourself. other people will always try to make you doubt your ability. So just don't doubt yourself and stand up for yourself.
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SlightlyMental_RN
471 Posts
That's what you did wrong. Don't interrupt a DON during an interview with the state. This is very rude and unprofessional, as this is a highly stressful time for a DON.