Im a new grad, with a new job, 21 yrs old and very young looking. Many of the nurses are irritated when I ask them questions and dont seem to want to help me.
I was giving an enema to a patient that this CNA told me had not had a bowel movement in 7 days. So she was due for an enema. Nothing is coming out. CNA looks at me and says, you dont have any experience, do you know what you're doing? She later tells me she read her CNA notes wrong that she accidently read someone else's notes.
I'm a passive person and I'm always scared of making myself seem like a mean nurse if I boss people around.
But it seems like a lot of people question my authority.
To make matters worse, I went in to apply for a job today. Filled out the application, and asked to speak to the DON. The 2 secretaries looked at me bizarrely like I was crazy. They said I should have made an appointment. Anyway, the DON comes out screaming at me in front of the kitchen staff, residents, a doctor, 2 secretaries, marketing and some other people because I showed up w/o an appointment. And all I wanted was to say hi to her for 2 minutes. I stormed out of the place crying. She said, "good get out of here!!!" I'm shaken up by all of this..
About 2 weeks ago, I flew across the US just for a job interview. They were supposed to give me a yes or a no today by email or phone. Nothing. I couldn't even reach them. I thought that I was polite, nice and answered the questions well (not perfectly but fairly well). However I was nervous, very nervous. I was sweating throughout this interview. And now I dont even get the respect of an email from them.
I start to think to myself that I struggle with people. I struggle reading people's faces and can't seem to get anywhere because no one likes me. Plus, I can't tell if people like me from their face. My old nursing prof. told me once, "you are very smart and you did your best, but I can tell you struggle with people." She was right.
Im so shaken up after being humiliated today like that.
XB9S, BSN, MSN, EdD, RN, APN
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