Gift for a pt

TruvyNurse · Jan 1, 2017

I would not encourage gifts. Your heart is in the right place, but it sounds like you have been very caring towards this patient and that goes a long way! People seems to remember their nurses, good or bad. Although I must admit I once brought trays of cookies for my residents when I was a CNA. I LOVE baking! :cheeky: But of course I brought plenty for my coworkers!

Longleggedstar · Jan 1, 2017

Generally this is a big NO! But every once in a blue moon when you have those exceptional patients you'll never forget and as long as the gift is sentimental vs expensive, I bend the rules a little. The few that I have given gifts too, thinking back I honestly have to say it was an act that did more for ME than them (i.e helping me establish closure, etc). Just something to think about. Sadly, this is another one of those areas of nursing that can be a little gray at times, I would imagine it is especially difficult for those working in oncology, hospice, NICU or other specialty type nursing where you can spend most and long periods of time with the same patient.

amoLucia · Jan 1, 2017

To Longleggedstar - my points too. Incl LTC.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2017

I have broken the rules a few times....it was years ago and somehow nursing was....different....back then. We had a homeless patient. A frequent flyer. He had a dog and we would "allow" his "service animal" to stay. We would bring in clothes for the "lost and found" we would sing happy birthday and give presents from the "lost and found". My manager knew. Our CNO knew. The nuns knew. Some how it was ok back then.

But yes...over the years I have broken a few rules.

amoLucia · Jan 1, 2017

Esme is correct to say that nsg was different 'way back then'. Nurses were just 'more people' oriented. For our pts and our peers. Seemed like we all just got along better.

None of the excessive NETYness and bullying that is so rampant among our ranks; no real 'snowflakes'.

We were RARELY challenged or denigrated by our pts, and certainly not by the families. I only recall 1 physician who gave me a hard time, but he'd have done so regardless of who had done what I had. And I only challenged 2 residents at one time for an incident. So it was never really an exception to go 'above and beyond'.

My how things have changed!!! I just wonder why - and while I'm now retired, I don't know that I'd want to deal with all the silliness anymore. I would never want to worry about bringing in some cinnamon toast for a pt. Or a small baggie of mini-Milky Way candies as a 'bribe'. :no:

chacha82, ADN, BSN · Jan 2, 2017

Even with the best of intentions, it can NEVER look good to HR.

We think after all the time we spend with our patients, we know them but we don't really.

emmy27 · Jan 2, 2017

Ok i ok I gotta fess up, I did jump across the professional line,.......
little le ole lady in NH, had a live parakeet........she loved and cared for that little bird.........
then in one day yea, little bird died, certainly not from not receiving superior care.....
she he was crushed.........absolutly no family
i could not, or more truthfully chose in this case, went to pet store and purchased a healthy young new parakeet.......you would think I was the van driving with a lottery check.....
i know, been doing this for 44.5 years as RN, but this time, I just felt driven to "cross the line"....
dont nut get me wrong, I'm not endorsing crossing professional line....it is a very slippery slope, that can even have litigious consequences....

I know a nurse who tracked down a new small-breed puppy for an elderly patient with no family who had lost his beloved dog of the same breed in a car accident (the same accident we had met him in the course of treating him for). He had just... lost the will to go on without his dog and he had no one to help him with the practical steps of getting another. That's not something case management will take on. He had money for home-call vet care and food, but nobody who could help him with things like using the internet to find a new dog, or driving across the state to pick it up (he gave up driving after the crash).

Maybe it crossed a line, but I'm also certain it restored what little happiness there was in the life of a desperately lonely elder who was devastated without his companion animal.

Aunt Slappy · Jan 2, 2017

giving a gift to a patient is unprofessional I understand. But what if you are trying to let them know that people do care about them? I have a patient that has been there for a month and will be for at least two more weeks and they said no one visited them in the hospital for the holidays. They are very down on their luck right now and I can see them wanting to give up the fight. Then I had the idea of getting them a little something. What are your thoughts? Is an exception possible?

In addition to gift giving being unprofessional and crossing a boundary, this person clearly has long standing social/relational problems that you are not going to fix with a gift. I mean, SIX WEEKS in the hospital, encompassing the most important holidays of the year for most people, and not one person visits? Not one? That says to me long term problems. You are not fixing decades of family and/or social dynamics for this patient.

Here's the thing: some people are terrible human beings, and oftentimes this kind of situation is what we call "reaping what you sow." If my mother has been in the hospital in the last 3-4 years, my brother and I had no idea and she likely received no visitors because she has no friends. She hasn't spoken to me for several years by choice and while I know she's most likely in one specific county in my home state, I literally have no idea of her location. My phone number, email, and address haven't changed in over 12 years, so she knows how to contact me. She chooses not to, though, because she's a manipulative, selfish person who finally decided she was done with me when I refused to bankrupt my family to bail her out of her own irresponsibility. She cut my brother off for basically the same reason.

There may be very valid reasons your patient has had no visitors. And you are not solving any of them.

Longleggedstar · Jan 2, 2017

In addition to gift giving being unprofessional and crossing a boundary, this person clearly has long standing social/relational problems that you are not going to fix with a gift. I mean, SIX WEEKS in the hospital, encompassing the most important holidays of the year for most people, and not one person visits? Not one? That says to me long term problems. You are not fixing decades of family and/or social dynamics for this patient.
Here's the thing: some people are terrible human beings, and oftentimes this kind of situation is what we call "reaping what you sow." If my mother has been in the hospital in the last 3-4 years, my brother and I had no idea and she likely received no visitors because she has no friends. She hasn't spoken to me for several years by choice and while I know she's most likely in one specific county in my home state, I literally have no idea of her location. My phone number, email, and address haven't changed in over 12 years, so she knows how to contact me. She chooses not to, though, because she's a manipulative, selfish person who finally decided she was done with me when I refused to bankrupt my family to bail her out of her own irresponsibility. She cut my brother off for basically the same reason.
There may be very valid reasons your patient has had no visitors. And you are not solving any of them.

Maybe to you there is a valid reason but for me over the years I have realized there is no such thing as good and bad people only circumstance. Given the circumstance a person can go from good to bad and vice versa real quick, which is another reason why any cold shoulder given by the family would be irrelevant to me in the nursing world. The complexity and adversity of the cards some people can be dealt in life forced me to understand that some people do terrible things to survive in a terrible world. Generally, there is no reason to give a gift, your kindness and service to them is usually enough, but we are paid to do a job that involves caring, and as the flawed humans we are, some patients have the ability to spark a compassion that compels us to go the extra mile and as myself and previous nurses have posted, the sentimental gift giving being done by some is not a usual or frequent occurrence and is something used to produce a small moment and memory of happiness for them and their patient. And personally when I see others give (whether it be gifts, time, service, etc) when they really don't have to I think helps restore faith in humanity.

DeeAngel · Jan 2, 2017

I think a couple of flowers, a small food item or book is acceptable. Give nothing that you would be uncomfortable explaining and justifying to a group of your peers or your supervisor. Small, simple and functional is OK and I think gets a pass. I have brought in small things for patients before, just because. A couple of homemade brownies, old magazines and paperbacks, a can of Diet Coke. Small little presents can really make someone perk up. I personally consider these things more as a favor to a patient than presenting them with "a gift". To me gifts are more substantial in nature than a random small kindness is.

You can always claim to be doing this to improve patient satisfaction. Using that excuse I think you could probably get away with hookers and blow if it got the hospital a good patient satisfaction score. /s

Aunt Slappy · Jan 3, 2017

Maybe to you there is a valid reason but for me over the years I have realized there is no such thing as good and bad people only circumstance.

Let's just say you and I inhabit completely different moral universes. I literally cannot even begin to understand such thinking. In a world that's seen both Mother Theresa and Hitler, you have the audacity to assert that there's no such thing as good or bad people. Alrighty then.

Skippingtowork · Jan 7, 2017

When it comes to gift-giving, it is not an easy answer as "don't cross the line" or "respecting professional boundaries." You always have to use common sense, but treating another human being with kindness and thoughtfulness must always come from the heart and a place of goodness. There are people who are hospitalized who will not have visitors for one reason or another. For example, a new immigrant to the country who is here alone and discouraged, a young adult who previously was in foster care and now has no family, a person who is socially awkward and does not have deep friendships or network is not local. There are many reasons why someone may need us at that moment and we should not take the time to over analyze. Nothing expensive, nothing questionable. You will never know how a random act of kindness changes someone's outlook forever. Also, if you feel strongly against giving gifts, no mater how small, make contact with a volunteer organization to receive hand made gifts for patients. Children's units routinely receive them, but adults need cheering too.