Gift for a pt

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · Dec 31, 2016

Emotional and clinical support only,

dont nut cross the line......

Davey Do · Dec 31, 2016

I saw your username on this page, sally, and was hoping you'd give mountainjc the lowdown.

Sorry, mountainjc. It's okay to have feelings for those we serve, but gift-giving crosses boundaries, as sally pointed out.

Be the very best caregiver you can be and that will be a gift in itself.

The best to you.

Sour Lemon · Dec 31, 2016

giving a gift to a patient is unprofessional I understand. But what if you are trying to let them know that people do care about them? I have a patient that has been there for a month and will be for at least two more weeks and they said no one visited them in the hospital for the holidays. They are very down on their luck right now and I can see them wanting to give up the fight. Then I had the idea of getting them a little something. What are your thoughts? Is an exception possible?

That would make you feel good, but it wouldn't do much for the patient. A gift from hired staff is a band-aid, at best. The patient needs to develop real relationships that are based on more than kind-hearted pity.

Jules A, MSN · Jan 1, 2017

I agree that you can't give a gift personally but what about asking if the unit could chip in for a small holiday token gift for all the patients on the unit? We do it in psych so its not from any staff in particular but all our patients get a little Christmas stocking.

amoLucia · Jan 1, 2017

Like what kind of gift are you talking? A single bloom poinsettia? I think I'd do that. But that's ME!

Maybe I'm missing something, but I think I prob 'crossed that imaginary line' many times during my career. I've given things to pts many, many times. I'm not talking some super expensive items, just something that I felt was approp for the situation. And it was an INFREQUENT occurrence - not like something I was doing weekly.

I replaced a glass 8x10 picture frame for a LOL when I saw her bedside beautiful wedding pix of some 50 years prior had a huge glass crack across the pix. I just bought an inexpensive new one (with plexi - not glass) and I changed the old one.

I bought a simple sleep nitecap for a LOL (that generation used to use them). She had made a makeshift one for herself out of an old bracup CUT to wear at HS. How silly that looked! I bought an inexpensive REAL nitecap to maintain her dignity.

I re-potted a personal plant for a LOL. She was so fearful that the poor thing was dying and her dtr had given it to her. So I brought in a bigger pot, some dirt and a fertilizer stick. The plant revitalized!

I gave a LOM some folders so he could better organize some of his "important papers' that were just stuffed in his dresser.

And canisters for hard candies for numerous pts. Others things, too, during my looong career.

I never replaced clothes or personal hygiene items. Nothing was costly. (The Dollar Store is my friend.) Yes, it did make me feel a little better. And yes, I prob could have contacted the family or made a referral to the Social Worker.

On occasion, I have brought in a bagel or donut (a chunk of old fashioned Jewish rye bread, once) for different pts. (There's usually a long story attached when this occurs.) And I have shared food. Again, we're not talking extravagance.

I have attended a few viewings and funerals, too. But I've never made contact with families beyond work.

Maybe because I've worked LTC - I don't remember 'giving' when I did hospital. I'm not a 'mushy' person, but every now & then, something just 'pings' ... I don't give much thought NOW or THEN to my 'giving'. But that level of my 'giving' never occurred to me as being over the line. It's not like I ever announced it to the rest of the NH; I never expected any reimbursement. Sheesh, some of my pts may not have remembered it the next day! But I think it made me better.

JMHO

datalore · Jan 1, 2017

Our facility has handmade blankets and stuffed animals available from volunteers/donors that we can ask be brought to patients for comfort. That's as personal as I'm willing to get while maintaining boundaries. And even then I make it clear it's from the hospital, not me.

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · Jan 1, 2017

I saw your username on this page, sally, and was hoping you'd give mountainjc the lowdown.
Sorry, mountainjc. It's okay to have feelings for those we serve, but gift-giving crosses boundaries, as sally pointed out.
Be the very best caregiver you can be and that will be a gift in itself.
The best to you.

davey Do....are we "mutual stalkers" ))grins((......I also look forward to a post by you..........but your humor tops mine....., in this case I like your to the point, Being a good nurse is a very great gift, in any situation.....

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · Jan 1, 2017

Like what kind of gift are you talking? A single bloom poinsettia? I think I'd do that. But that's ME!
Maybe I'm missing something, but I think I prob 'crossed that imaginary line' many times during my career. I've given things to pts many, many times. I'm not talking some super expensive items, just something that I felt was approp for the situation. And it was an INFREQUENT occurrence - not like something I was doing weekly.
I replaced a glass 8x10 picture frame for a LOL when I saw her bedside beautiful wedding pix of some 50 years prior had a huge glass crack across the pix. I just bought an inexpensive new one (with plexi - not glass) and I changed the old one.
I bought a simple sleep nitecap for a LOL (that generation used to use them). She had made a makeshift one for herself out of an old bracup CUT to wear at HS. How silly that looked! I bought an inexpensive REAL nitecap to maintain her dignity.
I re-potted a personal plant for a LOL. She was so fearful that the poor thing was dying and her dtr had given it to her. So I brought in a bigger pot, some dirt and a fertilizer stick. The plant revitalized!
I gave a LOM some folders so he could better organize some of his "important papers' that were just stuffed in his dresser.
And canisters for hard candies for numerous pts. Others things, too, during my looong career.
I never replaced clothes or personal hygiene items. Nothing was costly. (The Dollar Store is my friend.) Yes, it did make me feel a little better. And yes, I prob could have contacted the family or made a referral to the Social Worker.
On occasion, I have brought in a bagel or donut (a chunk of old fashioned Jewish rye bread, once) for different pts. (There's usually a long story attached when this occurs.) And I have shared food. Again, we're not talking extravagance.
I have attended a few viewings and funerals, too. But I've never made contact with families beyond work.
Maybe because I've worked LTC - I don't remember 'giving' when I did hospital. I'm not a 'mushy' person, but every now & then, something just 'pings' ... I don't give much thought NOW or THEN to my 'giving'. But that level of my 'giving' never occurred to me as being over the line. It's not like I ever announced it to the rest of the NH; I never expected any reimbursement. Sheesh, some of my pts may not have remembered it the next day! But I think it made me better.

Ok i ok I gotta fess up, I did jump across the professional line,.......

little le ole lady in NH, had a live parakeet........she loved and cared for that little bird.........

then in one day yea, little bird died, certainly not from not receiving superior care.....

she he was crushed.........absolutly no family

i could not, or more truthfully chose in this case, went to pet store and purchased a healthy young new parakeet.......you would think I was the van driving with a lottery check.....

i know, been doing this for 44.5 years as RN, but this time, I just felt driven to "cross the line"....

dont nut get me wrong, I'm not endorsing crossing professional line....it is a very slippery slope, that can even have litigious consequences....

sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN · Jan 1, 2017

Like what kind of gift are you talking? A single bloom poinsettia? I think I'd do that. But that's ME!
Maybe I'm missing something, but I think I prob 'crossed that imaginary line' many times during my career. I've given things to pts many, many times. I'm not talking some super expensive items, just something that I felt was approp for the situation. And it was an INFREQUENT occurrence - not like something I was doing weekly.
I replaced a glass 8x10 picture frame for a LOL when I saw her bedside beautiful wedding pix of some 50 years prior had a huge glass crack across the pix. I just bought an inexpensive new one (with plexi - not glass) and I changed the old one.
I bought a simple sleep nitecap for a LOL (that generation used to use them). She had made a makeshift one for herself out of an old bracup CUT to wear at HS. How silly that looked! I bought an inexpensive REAL nitecap to maintain her dignity.
I re-potted a personal plant for a LOL. She was so fearful that the poor thing was dying and her dtr had given it to her. So I brought in a bigger pot, some dirt and a fertilizer stick. The plant revitalized!
I gave a LOM some folders so he could better organize some of his "important papers' that were just stuffed in his dresser.
And canisters for hard candies for numerous pts. Others things, too, during my looong career.
I never replaced clothes or personal hygiene items. Nothing was costly. (The Dollar Store is my friend.) Yes, it did make me feel a little better. And yes, I prob could have contacted the family or made a referral to the Social Worker.
On occasion, I have brought in a bagel or donut (a chunk of old fashioned Jewish rye bread, once) for different pts. (There's usually a long story attached when this occurs.) And I have shared food. Again, we're not talking extravagance.
I have attended a few viewings and funerals, too. But I've never made contact with families beyond work.
Maybe because I've worked LTC - I don't remember 'giving' when I did hospital. I'm not a 'mushy' person, but every now & then, something just 'pings' ... I don't give much thought NOW or THEN to my 'giving'. But that level of my 'giving' never occurred to me as being over the line. It's not like I ever announced it to the rest of the NH; I never expected any reimbursement. Sheesh, some of my pts may not have remembered it the next day! But I think it made me better.
Ok i ok I gotta fess up, I did jump across the professional line,.......
little le ole lady in NH, had a live parakeet........she loved and cared for that little bird.........
then in one day yea, little bird died, certainly not from not receiving superior care.....
she he was crushed.........absolutly no family
i could not, or more truthfully chose in this case, went to pet store and purchased a healthy young new parakeet.......you would think I was the van driving with a lottery check.....
i know, been doing this for 44.5 years as RN, but this time, I just felt driven to "cross the line"....
dont nut get me wrong, I'm not endorsing crossing professional line....it is a very slippery slope, that can even have litigious consequences....
I could have aUthored, all this post, but
I dont don't know how I did it, but looks like I hijacked' thread, I meant to jump in where I bought the parakeet for the lil nursing home lady......
awg.....

amoLucia · Jan 1, 2017

To sallyrnrrt - thank you for re-affirming that just sometimes, just once in a little eon of time, there's just some little ember that's needs 'fresh air' to re-ignite. Like I said, the times I've done things were infrequent. And I did think 'am I crossing some line?' But then I felt some urge for a 'random act of kindness'. I never expected to be nominated for 'employee of the month' nor did I ever expect my name to be attached to some item.

I so vividly remember that wedding pix, even now. There was a big old crack diagonally across the bridal couple. And the pix was on her bedside table with spilled water nearby. Now I have a 'thing' about pts' personal pix. I find them so interesting. It usually becomes a point of conversation many times for me & my pt. So to just even think of that beautiful pix possibly being ruined ... I don't even remember that LOL's name or face now, but I remember that pix frame I replaced.

I want to believe that I gave my best possible care when I was still working. Physical care is one thing, but care for the 'human spirit' is something else, even different from typical emotional support that we all provide.

Sometimes you just have to go around and bend (or stretch) some rules for whatever the reason.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2017

One time I bent (or broke) a rule regarding this matter. Click on the link below to read more about what I did, if you have some time to burn.

https://allnurses.com/geriatric-nurses-ltc/bending-and-breaking-811887.html