Getting investigated for "diversion"

Nurses Recovery

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Hey all I had just recently changed jobs from telemetry to a nursing home. I had been there all of three days, i wasn't off orientation and had no access to the med carts yet.Then I did something dumb, I had been having severe panic attacks for the last month or so and was terrified that if I went to a doctor I could possibly be reported to BON. A well meaning friend gave me some ativan and I took to many. A neighbor found me outside not making any sense. I got taken to the er, there They asked me detailed questions about where I could have gotten meds and how I would have stolen them from work, this is all second hand, I have no memory of my time in the er. I guess I went on to tell them that I could have gotten them from work and here is how I would do it. Needless to say I also told them I was a smoker, I'm not, that I was bitten by a rabid raccoon,that I was under the influence of marijuana, narcotics, and hallucinogens, none of which showed up on the tox screen they did. During this questioning my husband was not present, they never called him, there was no patient advocate, and in my medical records one nurse said I was A&O x 3 while another said i only knew my name. They had me sign documents, my name was misspelled on these. While there I had a standing order for IV Ativan by a doctor who wasn't even in the hospital. Also the charting between nurses and doctors was very inconsistent to the point of falsifying information.

From that one visit there were two complaints against my license one being from the doctor who wasn't there.

The BON now has my medical records from that visit even though I didn't authorize it. They called my employer to tell them about the investigation so I have been fired. I was told that anywhere I try to work will get a phone call informing them of the investigation. I haven't even had my license a year so needless to say no one will hire me. I can't afford a lawyer, my insurance only covers patient complaints, I will be homeless at the end of June so I can't afford the board recommended treatment. I am so miserable that I thought of surrendering my licenses and giving up. I am terrified to see a doctor or therapist, I mean what if they report me as well. I really don't know what to do, any help would be great.

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Specializes in Gerontology RN-BC and FNP MSN student.

You were incoherent in your front yard and taken to the ER? I doubt you remember the details your claiming that happened at the ER. Sounds like you might be a danger to practice right now. You should address your mental health, do not let fear keep you where your at. I would get honest and call the board or at least suggest an appointed lawyer for what you need to do next. Best wishes.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Call your malpractice/liability carrier for advice. Stop posting on public forums as this is discoverable.

If you don't have malpractice (and everyone should) get an attorney experienced before the BoN. The American association of nurse attorneys has a referral service

http://www.taana.org

Find money for the attorney as the costs for defending your license may be astronomical.

Clearly if you took so many of your "friend's" tranquilizer that you were in a delusional fuge state with no recollection there is a problem. Not responding to the BoN is a guaranteed loss of license in this and any other state.

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Dont just surrender your license. An attorney is in order. I dont know you, but you know the truth. If you are an addict or think you may have a drug problem then your states peer assistance program may be a resource to consider. Most nurses I know who get in trouble and are afraid experience the same feelings you describe, and when the freak out begins to subside we put our grown up pants on and do whatever it takes to take care of our situation. Wish you peace.

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Specializes in long-term-care, LTAC, PCU.

From what you have described it sounds like you have a problem. I agree with JustBeachyNurse that you need to get honest and call your state BON and report yourself even if you have already been reported by someone else. You clearly are not safe to practice nursing right now. Get yourself in to a rehab program as soon as possible. And if you can't you need to start going to a twelve step program meetings (na/aa). Keep a record of the meetings you have attended. I advise going to them daily or even more than once a day. Get a lawyer but the most important thing to worry about right now is your health. Take care of your mental health as well. Addiction is life-threatening.

I would advise you to not post anything that could be held against you in court. We're here for you but you need to do the footwork to start helping yourself.

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If you had read through the entire post you would see where I said I was told second hand what happened in the ER and that I did meet with the investigator. I did tell them what really happened. I already called my insurance and thy said they couldn't help and every lawyer I contact wants $4500 retainer. If I had that I wouldn't be homeless at the end of the month. I have been in tx since the incident just not the one the board wants me in because I can't afford food much less drug testing. I posted here for advice on the investigation process or just a little encouragement.

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Okay deep breath, it will be okay. I know this because I had a terrible addiction, stole from work, got fired, and moved about 8 months ago. I am still not nursing. But...I am just fine. The reason for that is I took nursing, the board, the investigators, my family, my friends out of the equation and just looked at me. When did that I reached out to others and now I am okay, we'll, because I have an army behind me now (and yes I still have bad days but what human doesn't?). I know it gets old hearing "just focus on today" "you can't worry about the future" but you will get there. I promise. You will. I am not saying you are an addict or an alcoholic, but if you might be check out a 12 step. The advice is free, the support and love is real, and you WILL find other nurses there.

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Sorry to hear about your problems.

From my point of reading your post I see many holes.

Reguardless if the MD was present in the hospital or not, the MD has a duty to report someone who is not safe to practice. Doesn't matter if your a Nurse, MD, Law Enforcement or Teacher. Just be glad the police were not called.

You being a nurse should know better than to be taking a prescription that is not prescribed to you.

If your having panic attacks why would you be more concerned about the BON and not being treated for your condition?

You said that the BON has copies of your medical records. Could you have signed a release when you signed the other paper work you stated you signed?

Personally, your best thing to do.

Stop posting about all of this on the internet. I have seen so many people burnt over things like this. Just because you don't post your name, it's honestly not that hard to figure out who someone is. Also, find a lawyer. If you are 100% not having addiction issue's then fight this.

But only you know for sure if you are or not. So until you can be 100% honest with yourself, you will never find the honest answer you are looking for.

I wish you the best of luck.

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My reason for being more concerned about the BON was that while I was in nursing school we had to watch a bon hearing and a nurse had severe restrictions put on her license. I know that what I did was incredibly stupid and wrong.

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I have fought alcoholism for a long time. I never drank before or during work. The anxiety attacks began when I quit drinking. Another thing I was scared of the BON finding out. Since the incident I realized I can't do this on my own and have been attending AA five times a week.

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Good job on starting your quest to put things right. You know as well we all of us that taking care of yourself first is paramount to anything else. Even if you do get a million restrictions on your license you will make it through. So many of us here have them or will have them. Some will be able to participate in alternative to disipline programs, some like me will have permanent scars on their lisence. But my life and serenity are worth more than any stain to my name. Do you know if your state has an alternative to disipline program? If so, look into it.

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Specializes in long-term-care, LTAC, PCU.

Congratulations taking steps toward your recovery. We're all here for you on your journey.

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