Liric

they have hpmp. Not a clue if entering voluntarily will help or hurt my license but Im hoping it will help me.

I am so glad someone has taken the time to right this thread. I currently debating whether to join HPMP. I am really worried about the costs and hoops. This has taken away some of my fear of the unknown.

I have fought alcoholism for a long time. I never drank before or during work. The anxiety attacks began when I quit drinking. Another thing I was scared of the BON finding out. Since the incident I realized I can't do this on my own and have been attending AA five times a week.

My reason for being more concerned about the BON was that while I was in nursing school we had to watch a bon hearing and a nurse had severe restrictions put on her license. I know that what I did was incredibly stupid and wrong.

If you had read through the entire post you would see where I said I was told second hand what happened in the ER and that I did meet with the investigator. I did tell them what really happened. I already called my insurance and thy said they couldn't help and every lawyer I contact wants $4500 retainer. If I had that I wouldn't be homeless at the end of the month. I have been in tx since the incident just not the one the board wants me in because I can't afford food much less drug testing. I posted here for advice on the investigation process or just a little encouragement.

Hey all I had just recently changed jobs from telemetry to a nursing home. I had been there all of three days, i wasn't off orientation and had no access to the med carts yet.Then I did something dumb, I had been having severe panic attacks for the last month or so and was terrified that if I went to a doctor I could possibly be reported to BON. A well meaning friend gave me some ativan and I took to many. A neighbor found me outside not making any sense. I got taken to the er, there They asked me detailed questions about where I could have gotten meds and how I would have stolen them from work, this is all second hand, I have no memory of my time in the er. I guess I went on to tell them that I could have gotten them from work and here is how I would do it. Needless to say I also told them I was a smoker, I'm not, that I was bitten by a rabid raccoon,that I was under the influence of marijuana, narcotics, and hallucinogens, none of which showed up on the tox screen they did. During this questioning my husband was not present, they never called him, there was no patient advocate, and in my medical records one nurse said I was A&O x 3 while another said i only knew my name. They had me sign documents, my name was misspelled on these. While there I had a standing order for IV Ativan by a doctor who wasn't even in the hospital. Also the charting between nurses and doctors was very inconsistent to the point of falsifying information. From that one visit there were two complaints against my license one being from the doctor who wasn't there. The BON now has my medical records from that visit even though I didn't authorize it. They called my employer to tell them about the investigation so I have been fired. I was told that anywhere I try to work will get a phone call informing them of the investigation. I haven't even had my license a year so needless to say no one will hire me. I can't afford a lawyer, my insurance only covers patient complaints, I will be homeless at the end of June so I can't afford the board recommended treatment. I am so miserable that I thought of surrendering my licenses and giving up. I am terrified to see a doctor or therapist, I mean what if they report me as well. I really don't know what to do, any help would be great.

I experienced my first code during a preceptorship in the NICU. I had never experienced death before ever and was not debriefed on the situation. While in my head I believe everything possible was done for this baby I am still feeling bouts of guilt and sadness over this loss. Is this normal? I feel like after all of my schooling maybe I am not meant to be a nurse when everyone else seems to be able to shrug it off.Any help would be great.