Getting attached to patients

RunBabyRN · Jul 28, 2014

You'll always have patients that remind you of people you know (for better or worse!). You have to learn not to project your feelings toward the person you know onto your patient. It takes practice and time, but if you make a conscious effort, it does get easier with time. You'll learn how to keep professional boundaries. It's not instant, so go easy on yourself for now, but think of it as something to work on. :)

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2014

How do you deal with that situation without cutting off all emotion?

I'm nice and pleasant to my patients. However, I maintain a degree of healthy emotional detachment that allows me to do my job with professionalism. As bad as this sounds, I've learned to forget about the vast majority of my patients once I arrive home.

If I became emotionally involved with my patients, my emotions would prevent me from performing my duties. Burnout happens when we give so much of ourselves emotionally without replenishing the soul. In other words, I maintain a healthy amount of professional distance in the nurse/patient relationship. No one is going to take care of me if I do not engage in routine self-care.

anon456, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2014

It has taken me three years to really not attach. There is that fine line between compassion and attachment. I think the more patients you see, the more you will get better at this. It also takes a conscientious effort on your part to put up this boundary. You cannot solve all this patient's problems. You cannot fix society or broken families or prevent bad luck or bad decisions. You can show that patient compassion and good medical care and provide them comfort and security in the 12 hours or so that they are in your care. Consider that an honor to be able to do for them. If you carry around the ownership for all their problems or their future situations, you will burn out very quickly. I wish you well as you continue your studies!

NelleMarie · Jul 28, 2014

Thank you all very much

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Jul 28, 2014

Thank you all very much

And thank you for asking this thought-provoking question. Hopefully some of our other wise members will chime in with their techniques on dealing with attachment to patients.

HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD · Jul 28, 2014

Maintaining professional boundaries is an eternal issue for nurses and other 'caring professions'. Hopefully, as time goes on you will become more adept. In order to be effective as a nurse, you have to learn to compartmentalize. If you cannot maintain objectivity, it will affect your professional judgement.

turtle0206 · Jul 30, 2014

Getting "attached" is a tough situation, on one hand it shows your human and compassion is what will make you a GREAT CNA.. On the other hand it can affect your professional responsibilities. I find the best thing is to let yourself have a good cry or mentally talk things out to yourself in the car on the way home BUT as soon as you walk through the door drop it. Think to yourself that you are home now and you have your own personal problems, your own family, and your own health. At the end of the day you need to think that you did all that you could and be happy in knowing that you did. :)

Dranger · Jul 30, 2014

I never get attached. Can I empathize? Yes. Attached? No.

It's just a job.

NurseQT · Jul 30, 2014

After 15 years I can say I've never become emotionally attached to any of my patients. I have had some over the years that touched my heart and some whom I've held their hand and cried as they took their last breath. But I have always treated all of my patients with the same amount of respect and dignity they deserve.

~PedsRN~, BSN, RN · Jul 30, 2014

It is hard for me because I take care of several chronic kids that are frequent flyers and they stay with us for long periods of time. In pediatrics I see things done to children that no one should ever have to see, let alone live with. I'm a nurse but I am also a mother, and there are some kids that I take care of that yeah, sure - they need good medical nursing care - but they also need a good dose of love.

I find it impossible to not take some of my work home with me to some degree. You just don't see what I see and then leave it at work. If it's possible, then It's a skill I have not perfected.

There are a few of these children that have a pretty good grasp on my heart. I have had to deal with crisis situations with them before, and I'm fine in the moment - I don't wig out and fall to pieces or anything - but they are the ones that make me cry on the drive home. ❤️

When they die, it affects me.

My saving grace is that my floor for the most part is high acuity but high turnover. Kids get better and go home. I love taking care of all my patients, I have such a fun job!!!! But it helps when I get a fresh batch every week. :)

I have also noticed that since starting work here, it's becoming easier to not get that attachment. I can distance myself easier now. But those few from the beginning, no - they are cemented in. LoL.

anon456, BSN, RN · Jul 30, 2014

It is hard for me because I take care of several chronic kids that are frequent flyers and they stay with us for long periods of time. In pediatrics I see things done to children that no one should ever have to see, let alone live with. I'm a nurse but I am also a mother, and there are some kids that I take care of that yeah, sure - they need good medical nursing care - but they also need a good dose of love.
I find it impossible to not take some of my work home with me to some degree. You just don't see what I see and then leave it at work. If it's possible, then It's a skill I have not perfected.
There are a few of these children that have a pretty good grasp on my heart. I have had to deal with crisis situations with them before, and I'm fine in the moment - I don't wig out and fall to pieces or anything - but they are the ones that make me cry on the drive home. ❤️
When they die, it affects me.
My saving grace is that my floor for the most part is high acuity but high turnover. Kids get better and go home. I love taking care of all my patients, I have such a fun job!!!! But it helps when I get a fresh batch every week. :)
I have also noticed that since starting work here, it's becoming easier to not get that attachment. I can distance myself easier now. But those few from the beginning, no - they are cemented in. LoL.

I could have written all of this. Peds nursing with these chronic, higher acuity kids can be heart-wrenching because they are so innocent and their conditions are not fault of their own. But yeah, you do get better at only caring enough to be a good nurse, but not enough that you are messed up emotionally.