Affectionate terms

  1. Apparently (so say our inspection board) we are no longer allowed to call residents by their first names nor are we allowed to use affectionate terms like dear or pet. Even though they may ask us to call them 'Betty' or may call us and every other human in the place 'dear', it is banned. This is a rule I will certainly not be following, it took all time just to get patients called residents over here and now they want it back to paitents. Aaaaaargh. We are also not allowed to give hugs or kiss goodnight, so if the patient (we all know who needs/ likes a hug!) goes to hug us we are to say 'whoa there' and if they go to kiss us goodnight, well we better run out that room. Why do inspectors insist on telling us to treat everyone as an individual and then turn around and tell us that all residents (oops patients) must conform to their standards.
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    About marjoriemac

    Joined: Sep '06; Posts: 231; Likes: 21
    Specialty: 5 year(s) of experience in nursing home care


  3. by   landonsles
    That is so sad...wonder what happened to spark that rule?
    Last edit by landonsles on Mar 6, '07 : Reason: hmm...lack of sleep causes me to make no sense!
  4. by   Altra
    I think I'd be ignoring these edicts too ... just make sure the rest of your co-workers are also on board so that your professional demeanor doesn't stand out as different from everyone else's.
  5. by   caliotter3
    I am very surprised to be hearing about such nonsense coming from a European nation. Idiocy I expect from authorities in the US. This sounds like an edict that should only be given lip service to while they are in the building. Any other time, I would treat my residents like the human beings that they are. Strange, the Irish that I have known impressed me with their innate ability to convey compassion for people.
  6. by   CT Pixie
    I know back in the early 90's when I was a CNA, we were told (the facility had been informed by The State, Inspectors??? don't remember who) we were not to call the residents by anything other than Mr Smith or Mrs Jones unless the resident filled out a form and included names they allow..Betty, Sam, Nana Betty etc. Lots of the residents had asked us to refer to them with pet names..names their grandchildren called them (nana, nanny, MeMa..etc). I guess "they" (the Powers that wasn't the facility) decided that calling residents by "pet" names was demeaning! uhhh..yeah I'm sure my Nana thought that term was demeaning..

    Its pretty sad that these residents are made to feel like they are NOT home but they are told to feel that it IS their home. To many, we were their family, we were the ONLY ones to show any affection and without our affection, they would have lived out their remaining days with no human touch. I was forever hugging my residents, holding their hands, stroking their hair etc..never in a demeaning way, always in a way that made them feel like wanted, loved human beings!

    Of course when a new resident came into the facility we did refer to them by Mr. XXX and Mrs. XXX..until they verbalized it was acceptable to them to be called something else. And come to think of it, upon admission, the social service department asked the new resident what they would like to be called and filled out the form.
  7. by   SuesquatchRN
    Good Lord.
  8. by   muffie
  9. by   marjoriemac
    I really should not be surprised by this recent entry in the long list of stupid inspection criteria as the inspectors also increaseed our paperwork tenfold and made us put them in these stupid files where you have to unclip everything just to out a new daily notes page in. Imagine going to the manager and saying ' hi i'm really stressed need some time off - its those damned kalamazoo files (or whater their called!)
  10. by   flashpoint
    So do you think they would disapprove of us calling one of our residents 'Ugly?' He somehow got that nickname in college...he introduces himself as 'Ugly," his wife calls him 'Ugly,' and his doctor's office calls him 'Ugly' when they confirm his appointments. He is not ugly at all...he is actually quite handsome.
  11. by   CapeCodMermaid
    As long as the resident agrees, you can call them anything at all! Personally I hate dear,hon,sweetie and all those if I'm in the home,please don't call me any of those things. That said, I call the residents what they want to be called...Mary, Mr. Smith,cupcake...and I make darn sure it's in the care plan.
  12. by   CoffeeRTC
    Its been that way for years in PA. What we do is when ss or activites does their assessments they get their nicknames or what res prefers to be called. I think we also care plan it somewhere "res prefers to be called Honey Girl"...fine by our surveyors.
  13. by   ayla2004
    worked as a care assistant in a NH in belfast for 6 years got told by the charge nurse that hugs and terms of affection etc where not allowed by the board but not their first names, left their 3 years ago though.
    Not first names though all if they seemed to respond to that better, oh all of our residents had demetia so maybe first names our better as it progresses.
    which health board has said this we came under eastern
  14. by   withasmilelpn
    I call my friends 'dear heart', say hey girlie, etc, all terms of affection. When I meet a patient I ask them what they prefer to be called. Patients I have gotten close to get called angel, handsome, big guy, etc and they are always right there back saying similar things to me. I just try to be playful and above all kind.. If anyone seems uncomfortable, of course I would refrain from doing so. I think this is just another example of how the powers that be are so out of touch with what works for nursing. Guarantee patients probably don't think they get better care from someone who is formal with them. Patients respond to the human touch.