Losing the fight to continue.....

Lori RN_09_2b · Dec 4, 2006

Sounds like a nasty case of endofsemesteritis, which I've had myself the past week or so. Total loss of motivation, generalized crankiness . . . BUT, that doesn't give your friends an excuse to be pathetically rude by not showing up/calling. :angryfire Try not to take it personally, though--I really think it's a matter of people having too much on their plates. (I know I would look at a party as just one more thing on my to-do list at this point. I WOULD, however, at least call!)

Hang in there. You've got a lot to be stressed about, but I know you can do it! And congrats on the new job! :balloons:

Race Mom, ASN, RN · Dec 4, 2006

I honestly think that it is our generational problem. I have had parties where very few people show, and it breaks you down. I had a baby shower that was being thrown by 3 people. They were doing all the food, as a full buffet meal was being served. Almost 30 people RSVP'd that they were coming. Well, food for 30...7 people showed. Some offered lame excuses, some didn't even bother to make up a lie. I make it a point to show up to everyones party, if at ALL possible. Usually, I was the only one to show up from any parties given with work people being the main invitees. I see the sadness from these people when they feel like no one cares. My dh works for the post office. Most of them are in their 40's and up. They just had a party on Saturday and the room was packed! I don't know what it is about our generation (30's and under), but I refuse to follow their lead. I wouldn't take it personally. It is mainly the attitude of the generation today. They only care about themselves.

P.S. This is a generalized statement about the generation (of which I belong to). I am not saying we are all this way, so please don't take it that way. I'm not trying to bash anyone, just making an observation.

GratefulHeart · Dec 4, 2006

I honestly think that it is our generational problem. I have had parties where very few people show, and it breaks you down. I had a baby shower that was being thrown by 3 people. They were doing all the food, as a full buffet meal was being served. Almost 30 people RSVP'd that they were coming. Well, food for 30...7 people showed. Some offered lame excuses, some didn't even bother to make up a lie. I make it a point to show up to everyones party, if at ALL possible. Usually, I was the only one to show up from any parties given with work people being the main invitees. I see the sadness from these people when they feel like no one cares. My dh works for the post office. Most of them are in their 40's and up. They just had a party on Saturday and the room was packed! I don't know what it is about our generation (30's and under), but I refuse to follow their lead. I wouldn't take it personally. It is mainly the attitude of the generation today. They only care about themselves.
P.S. This is a generalized statement about the generation (of which I belong to). I am not saying we are all this way, so please don't take it that way. I'm not trying to bash anyone, just making an observation.

Yep - my observation(s) as well.

Columnist · Dec 4, 2006

Hang in there. I know how distressing it must be to have a party and nobody show up. I think there are many different factors here.......too much going on is one. But that doesn't excuse rudeness. My daughter has this type of thing happen to her all the time. I think we have lost the social graces of times gone by. I know I myself am guilty at times of not responding to invitations or simply sending out thank-you notes. I don't know what it is....I think we are just lazy and have no sense of commitment. But it does hurt to be the one on the other end. Try not to take it personally (I know it is easy for me to say). I think it's sensitive people like you who get hurt the most....and I'm not saying that in a negative way at all. We would all be better off if we had more sensitivity to the feelings of others. You will be a better nurse because of this sensitivity. You will be mindful of your patients' feelings. Try to not let this get you down too much.

Lisa CCU RN, RN · Dec 5, 2006

I honestly think that it is our generational problem. I have had parties where very few people show, and it breaks you down. I had a baby shower that was being thrown by 3 people. They were doing all the food, as a full buffet meal was being served. Almost 30 people RSVP'd that they were coming. Well, food for 30...7 people showed. Some offered lame excuses, some didn't even bother to make up a lie. I make it a point to show up to everyones party, if at ALL possible. Usually, I was the only one to show up from any parties given with work people being the main invitees. I see the sadness from these people when they feel like no one cares. My dh works for the post office. Most of them are in their 40's and up. They just had a party on Saturday and the room was packed! I don't know what it is about our generation (30's and under), but I refuse to follow their lead. I wouldn't take it personally. It is mainly the attitude of the generation today. They only care about themselves.
P.S. This is a generalized statement about the generation (of which I belong to). I am not saying we are all this way, so please don't take it that way. I'm not trying to bash anyone, just making an observation.

Nope, you are right, so no offense taken.

I am turning 27 tomorrow and I have many times longed to be friends with those older than me (35 and up).

Shoot, I actually hate parties and clubs and would much rather join a book club or go antiquing (sp)!

The thing is though, I still like doing things like going to amusement parks and maybe occasionally going to a club ( though I have actually only been once in my life).

I'm a real oddball.

Anyway, I think my generation is exceedingly rude. :trout:

jrussole · Dec 5, 2006

At almost 44 yrs and after reading your posts about this topic, I have to agree with you. In the 80's most people came to the "party" that had the cocaine and alcohol. In the 90's it was basically the same, just more drugs like crack and ecstasy. I was never into drugs, but I did have one to many beverages in my hayday. It is a known fact that if the tub isn't full with beer, vodka, etc and ice- it isn't going to be a popular party. Plus the entertainment has to be worth the effort. If you have a DJ is best. And having food is always a biggy. People probably wouldn't mind paying a fee at the door to get in, in that case. My last party over a friends house was a disaster. It was a Christmas party last year. My girlfriend gave. One of our friends in homophobic. He came with us to the party. One of my girlfriends friends is gay. The party turned sour when my friend became offensive about the "gay people". I was embarrassed. So was my husband, and we took our friend and left. I believe the party went completely downhill after that because my girlfriend called me complaining the next day about it. She blamed me for bringing him. And I suppose she was right. There is a time and a place for everything. And everyone has the own opinion about homosexuality. But if you are at someone's party, in their home, etc. You shouldn't be offended because someone is there that isn't like you. The guy didn't hit on him or anything. He actually didn't say or do a word during the whole disagreement. I never new that my hubby's friend felt this homophobic. If I did I know I would not have gone to the party with HIM to begin with!

Anyway, while in school it is imperative that you let out steam! You need to have a laugh and have a really good time just being you. Because studying all of the time can burn you out. You feel like you give up your life while in nursing school as it is. So, its important that you get away from the books every so often. It's probably not worth going near the "drug" parties nowadays. I am sure they are alot worse than the 80's and 90's were. But then again, maybe we are the ones that ruined it for you anyway. After our generation the drinking age was raised. The driving age was raised, etc. You can still go to war at 18 though. Ofcourse, growing up in Yonkers may have been a contributing factor!

locolorenzo22, BSN, RN · Dec 5, 2006

You know, I'm with you all, it really is our generation that just thinks nothing of not calling or even showing when they say they will....

I would rather show up with 30 mins left in a party vs. not coming/calling at all...but maybe that's just the way I was raised.

I do feel more mature than others my age(25) and usually get comments along those lines. Often people guess I'm like 34 or so. Such is life.

THANK YOU ALL for the support. I just really needed it this weekend and I'm not holding it against anyone, Just telling them that it's kind of rude to not at least call somebody. Not mad anymore, just kind of ready for semester to be over....

JeanettePNP, MSN, RN, NP · Dec 5, 2006

For this reason my dh and I just don't give parties if we can help it... We do make small family parties but we don't invite many people. We also tend to have a casual open door policy so friends know they're welcome to drop in anytime. I hate the stress of preparing a huge bash and then having no one show... We've learned to keep our expectations low, and I try to have some easy-to-prepare-and-store food on hand so if more people than expected show up, we have something to serve them.

A couple years ago my son wanted an at-home birthday party. We decided not to exclude anyone and invited his whole class, thinking that not everyone would show. Well, over twenty kids (9yo's) showed, a lot more than I was expecting (and could fit in my living room.) That was our last at-home birthday party!

subee, MSN, CRNA · Dec 5, 2006

You know, I'm with you all, it really is our generation that just thinks nothing of not calling or even showing when they say they will....
I would rather show up with 30 mins left in a party vs. not coming/calling at all...but maybe that's just the way I was raised.
I do feel more mature than others my age(25) and usually get comments along those lines. Often people guess I'm like 34 or so. Such is life.
THANK YOU ALL for the support. I just really needed it this weekend and I'm not holding it against anyone, Just telling them that it's kind of rude to not at least call somebody. Not mad anymore, just kind of ready for semester to be over....

It is one way to find out who your friends really are. I'm glad I'm getting close to retirement and do not have to make a "cultural adjustment" to such casual bad behavior.

JentheRN05, RN · Dec 5, 2006

Ya know - I just saw click. I think every human being should see that movie. It really made me think. Made me realize some choices I have made were not good ones. It really was a good movie. Maybe your class should watch it.

moongirl · Dec 5, 2006

dang loco, as much as I like you, rigth now if you invited me to a party I would bawl. I dont even have time to pee, and as much as I would love to drink a margarita with you, the thought of one more thing to do would simply tip me over the edge. i think alot of us are hanging on by our fingernails at this point. dont take it personally, it cant be that you are lacking any social graces.:icon_hug: