How would seeing a dead patient affect you personally?

Nursing Students General Students

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I am interested in knowing how will you feel, if a patient were to pass on you, or if you witnessned it etc. I ask because, when I did my clinicals... The patient I chose for my careplan, was fine and jolly as could be. The next day when I returned, she was gone. I felt really really sad. And other confusing feelings of which I dont have the words to explain. I know that in the Nursing profession, I will be encountering a whole lot of that...........................

Did you have any similar experience and how did you feel?

I am so heart broken by your loss! :cry:

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I am starting a nursing program 01/17/07 and wonder how I can deal seeing a patient die. I remember watching my Great-Granny die a miserable death after losing her battle with cancer. I remember her holding my hand and squeezing it after taking her last breath. That really ate me up inside. Remember seeing how the medics came and took her body out of the house and my Granny was a mess. Then my beloved Granny died of cancer as well. I remember visiting her in the hospital and then getting a call she had passed away. I am still heartbroken over that. My 5 month old niece died 01/01/04 and this by far has been the worst funeral I have ever attended. I am doing a lot of soul searching trying to prepare myself for how I will handle death once I become a nurse.

Now, in my younger days when I was out partying and things, I witnessed a man getting shot in the head in his convertible. He was left for dead because by the time the medics got there, he was already gone and had to wait for the Medical Examiner. I'll never forgot how he was walking and talking just an hour before and then slumped over dead with his brains hanging out an hour later. I didnt know this man, but I remember going home thinking about how his family must feel.

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The sudden unexpected death of a child is hard, especially a young one. Our son's sudden illness and then death was a real shock to us. He died within a couple days of diagnosis. You really do feel helpless for there is really nothing you can do except live the experience. Only thing I can say is that someone who is a nurse who has experienced it may have empathy towards others that end up going thru it. It isn't a experience I would want to deal with for it is just so sad, awful for parents to go thru. It just would remind me of what I have gone thru and I don't really want to see someone go thru what I went thru. I have been there and felt it. At least I guess I can honestly tell them that I have been there myself.

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about midway thru my very first semester of nursing school, I and another student were assigned to a patient together. We were double assigned because he was dealing with a lot of tough issues in the nursing home--isolation for orsa, anxiety, asthma, trach...bunch of stuff. We had several different areas we needed to change bandages on, and everytime in and out the room we had to gown mask and glove. And he called out all the time. I ended up finally just sitting with him, watching TV. It was history channel and it was about salt mines.

It was a long and exhausting day. I saw his name two days later in the obituaries. He died about an hour after we left.

I had so many feelings but mostly just happy that I was able to be there and just sit with him. Yes I did lots of other stuff and it was hot and sweaty and truly a royal pain to gown up, gown down a dozen times at least. And bandage changes as a first-semester nurse were pretty tough.

But I will never forget one point during that afternoon when he was getting anxious and my instructor was in there with me (she stayed pretty close that day. Found out later my classmate and I were assigned specifically because she knew we could handle a higher-maintenance patient), anyway, the instructor took his hand and just looked at him and asked him what he was scared of. He said of dying. Now I know that was a huge clue and probably one of the reasons the instructor was nearby all day. Then I just thought of course he is scared of dying, he has all these issues. So I learned a good lesson that day, to listen beyond the words.

I am so glad I sat with him. I wish I had offered to pray with him because I felt like I should but I didn't. I wll always feel a little sad but kind of glad too, that he was freed from his condition.

Other patients have died since, but not while in my care. In my final semester several did, but it was a critical care tele floor, and kind of expected. I was a tech in an emergency room for a short while and saw two unsuccessful codes and had to do post-mortem care on one of them. Nothing hit me as hard as that first one during first semester, but each time I hear of it, I just hope that in some way I made thier last hours a little more comfortable. As for the codes/post-mortem, I was too freaked out and nervous about my role in that situation to really register much.

Just recently on my floor we had a patient go into a pretty critical situation, which is kind of unusual on our postpartum floor. There is a real risk for her of life-altering issues including a risk of death. I had cared for her just before all this and it kind of makes my stomach knot up again. As a nurse you realize, I think, that no matter what we do, death always plays the last card. That's just the way it is and we as nurses need to do all we can to ensure that patients are comfortable and cared for when they near that final time.

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Specializes in cardiac/education.
I am starting a nursing program 01/17/07 and wonder how I can deal seeing a patient die. I remember watching my Great-Granny die a miserable death after losing her battle with cancer. I remember her holding my hand and squeezing it after taking her last breath. That really ate me up inside. Remember seeing how the medics came and took her body out of the house and my Granny was a mess. Then my beloved Granny died of cancer as well. I remember visiting her in the hospital and then getting a call she had passed away. I am still heartbroken over that. My 5 month old niece died 01/01/04 and this by far has been the worst funeral I have ever attended. I am doing a lot of soul searching trying to prepare myself for how I will handle death once I become a nurse.

Now, in my younger days when I was out partying and things, I witnessed a man getting shot in the head in his convertible. He was left for dead because by the time the medics got there, he was already gone and had to wait for the Medical Examiner. I'll never forgot how he was walking and talking just an hour before and then slumped over dead with his brains hanging out an hour later. I didnt know this man, but I remember going home thinking about how his family must feel.

Try being in your oncology clinicals during the exact time your father is dying! Now THAT was difficult.

You know what I have found? That from that experience with my father I have become so much more compassionate and empathetic, and not just to cancer victims. It is very hard for me sometimes, when I smell an odor in the hospital that reminds me of those last weeks with my father or when I see other people suffering in the same way but I have grown thru the experience. Now I wonder how I will make my mark, how I will make things just a bit easier for these people, will I be able to show them that someone really cares? Since my fathers death, I have really started wondering if I will ever have time to make that difference as a nurse. That troubles me.

Losing someone you love changes you forever. Watching someone you love die a painful death changes you forever. Somehow, all the little things just seem stupid now. You look for the bigger meaning in life. You think about all the things you thought were important and realize how dumb they are. You can never explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it.

I am reading a book called "Final Gifts". It is about what dying patients have to offer you as a healthcare provider, how they can help you! You should read it, it is very good. I also want to read "Moving toward Omega" which is about near-death experiences. I find this fascinating! Hard to read for pleasure though once you are in school, lol....Maybe in May lol. I am seriously considering becoming a hospice nurse now, after a years experience of course..

Good Luck to you. You have had many losses, seen the devastation of death. Just like you did before, you will find you will deal with what you see. You have to! It won't break you. Your experience will actually make you stronger and a better nurse!!;)

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This is my first post here, but when I saw this thread I knew I needed to post. 5 years ago, my husband and I lost our second daughter when she was 4 weeks old. She was born with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. We were made aware of her condition 16 weeks into the pregnancy so we had done alot of research and new her chances were not good. I moved to Cinci Ohio to be closer to the Children's hospital there for her birth. Her life was short and very painful, but my experience with the nurses there was incredible. These people were truly angels. My first week there, I kept thinking, How can these people deal with this sort of tragedy everyday, I can't imagine doing this sort of work all the time, however, into the third week, my thoughts changed to ,How great it must be to have this sort of job, to affect people's lives everyday! The nurses were wonderful, and cried with me as she left the world in my arms. I vowed that her life would not be for nothing, that this was meant to happen for a reason, that my life had changed but that I had the decision as to HOW, good or bad. I decided that this would be my calling. I enrolled in school 2 years later.

My only concern is that in the future, I may treat another child that is in the throes of death, and I won't be able to handle it. That I won't be able to be there for the parents in the same manner that these nurses were there for me. But for me, death has touched my life in the most intimate of ways. I think that this gives me a certain perspective that could be useful to future patients and family members.

I would also like to say that I have found this site to be such an inspiration for me in my pursuit of my degree, and I have found so much support for those of us just starting out. To all of you,..thank you

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Each death is just as unique as every birth. Death can be a beautiful experience such as when my father passed away..me and my sister sitting on each side of him holding his hands I had just given him a wet sponge to suck on the a bell started tolling (on a commercial on t.v. I hadn't even realized was on) My dad started breathing when the bell tolled and on the last ring he took his last breath. Other experiences are not so beautiful such as my mothers death three months ago. I had just gotten to her apartment and she was telling me how badly her chest and back were hurting her and she was so sick to her stomach before I could call 911 she collapsed in suden cardiac arrest. I was alone and tried cpr and calling for help, I remember trying to pull the secretions out of the back of her throat with my hands..it seemed forever before the paramedics got there and I was soo tired of doing CPR but I couldn't stop. The paramedics never could get an airway in and I knew when they took her out of her apartment that she was gone. Death is death we just have to deal with it the best way we can, some days are better than others.

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Specializes in NICU.

I think it depends on the situation. Working in the NICU, I have seen babies rushed into emergency surgery, crash during surgery, then coded long enough to keep them alive until the parents arrived (not very long). It's hard seeing all of that because after all, it is an innocent baby who was too small to even try to fight back. In that case, the hardest part was actually wrapping the baby in a blanket and handing him over to the crying mom so she could hold him for the first and last time. The only comfort with a dying preemie is knowing that we all did everything we could.

Working in the ER provides a little different perspective. You have family and friends who really knew the patients and had spent time with them... laughing, crying, whatever experiences they had.

For me, I always look at it from the perspective of the family. I always wonder what the family will go through.. Losing a preemie or losing an adult child can cause the same emotions and feelings in anyone.. It doesn't matter if you had a chance to get to know them or not. I think the main difference is in the future. In a child, you don't know what the future holds.. every parent has plans and dreams and hopes for their child, while the child is innocent and ready to be molded and shaped into a big person. An adult has made plans with other people and usually has some sort of shared dreams/goals with friends, family, etc. One is not more important or more painful than the other, they are just different. So it's always been hard to watch the families greive.. It's not so much the dead patient lying before me, but the family members who have to go on with their lives without that patient.

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Daytonite,

Just as mystiqx,I also lost my grandmother 4+ years ago and still have a very hard time dealing with it from now and then.My grandparents raised me from 3 months old,my grandma was my world,my mother.When I was 12 she starting going downhill and I helped take care of her for 8 years until she passed.She needed care 24/7 and my grandpa and I couldn't handle it ourselves so she went to a nursing home for 2 months before she passed.I stayed with her around the clock only leaving once a week, just long enough to take a shower and gain some slight relief.Point being,death is an unevitable process of life that we all must face someday that you can never quite get used to.So keep your head up,maintain your strength and know that God is ALWAYS with you to see you through.;):saint:

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Specializes in PICU, surgical post-op.
However, while working at a hospital in Africa I saw NUMEROUS patients die from minor things that would have been easily treatable or preventable in the western world.

When I was in Zambia, a baby I was going to deliver (on my birthday!) died. We had no fuel for the generator, so we couldn't turn on the lights or suction or anything to do a C/S on her. We just brought her to to labour room to deliver a stillborn baby. It hurt.

I work PICU here in the states. The first time I took care of a patient who had drowned (near-derowning ... we were just waiting for donation) I spent the entire day in and out of the bathroom, crying my eyes out. I have a cousin whe drowned 8 years ago, and it was all just too hard for me.

I still cry off and on, depending on the situation. Provided a nurse is still able to function and perform her tasks, there's nothing wrong with showing the family that you're affected by the tragedy that's just happened. It helps them to know that they're surrounded by people who cared for and loved their child.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Geri, Ortho, Telemetry, Psych.

The first time I saw a dead patient, it made me sad. I wished that I had been there when they had passed because I needed to know that they passed comforably and not in any fear. And that is what I have been doing for the last 11 years, helping people pass away in the most comforting way possible. I love it. There is no other job for me. I was meant for this. Now it doesn't make me AS sad as it used to. Good luck.:smokin:

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Specializes in Dialysis (All Modalities) , Ex-CVICU RN.

I usually got this light body feeling. Like as if my existance was dropped down a notch. But after all the hub bub with the morgue care and such. It's on to the next patient.

Having to be in the same room as the family before their loved one passed make me feel more. (4 Pressors, Insulin Drip, w/ VENT .. interesting experience as a nurse apprentice) ...

After being in more and more situations where a client has to be taking off support or being there during a Code in which they are pronounced. It's getting a bit easier but every life lost has affected me in a certain way.

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