How would seeing a dead patient affect you personally?

Nursing Students General Students

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I am interested in knowing how will you feel, if a patient were to pass on you, or if you witnessned it etc. I ask because, when I did my clinicals... The patient I chose for my careplan, was fine and jolly as could be. The next day when I returned, she was gone. I felt really really sad. And other confusing feelings of which I dont have the words to explain. I know that in the Nursing profession, I will be encountering a whole lot of that...........................

Did you have any similar experience and how did you feel?

My mother died almost 4 years ago in my arms in the very nursing home that just last fall I had my first clinical experience. I dreaded going back there even though I'm not afraid of death. I just dreaded going into her old room. As luck would have it, the first rooom I had to go into was her old one. I was strange & a bit sad but it helped that the residents in there were a couple of very nice men.

I think as a nurse we'll all have to get used to death. It really isn't all that scary. What I dread is losing a patient or resident that I have become particularly fond of. That will bring all the old memories flooding back.

Dixie

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I think as a nurse we'll all have to get used to death. It really isn't all that scary. What I dread is losing a patient or resident that I have become particularly fond of. That will bring all the old memories flooding back.

Dixie

When I first became an aide I was scared of death. Too many ghost and horror movies. I find death more peaceful now, not scary. I don't shrink at the thought of touching a dead body.

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Specializes in Pediatric Pulmonology and Allergy.

I once went to a nursing home as a volunteer to visit patients from a list I was given. I asked for the first patient on the list, and the director was called and got all serious with me and informed me that she had died that morning. Oops! They did not realize that I had never met her and had no idea who she was.

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Specializes in Ortho, Neuro, Detox, Tele.

Working in LTC, I was not a "direct care" worker. I was the Activity director. Through my time there, I saw a few hospice/terminally ill/sudden patients, who passed while I was working there. I never seemed to be around when the passing occurred, but whenever it was close, you went in, sat down and talked over all the stuff they wanted people to remember them for. I had a special form with a few ?'s to ask, and we read that form at the memorial service we set up with hospice care.

("What do you want people to remember about you? What would you tell your friends/family about your death?"

I worked with a lot of women, and we had one elderly gentleman who was dxd with cancer, and refused treatment. Near the end, the staff started referring to his "harem", who massaged his feet/back, and made sure he had something to do everyday.....

It is shocking when it occurs, and in my new job, I am much more head on. Someone got up from a commode today, and all of a sudden she started complaining of sob, got clammy/cold, and we whisked her into bed and were about 15 secs from calling a code....then she started stablizing....

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In my Fundamentals class we went on a field trip to a funeral home & the Hospice office. They wanted us to know what goes on at a funeral home so that if a patient's family ever asked we'd know. Being an older student, I have already had experience with funeral homes & making arrangements. I was surprised though to learn how few of my classmates had ever seen, much less touched, a dead person.

Although we were not allowed to be around any of the bodies, I do think this experience was very valuable, even to me.

Dixie

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I have only seen one dead patient so far, and it was an interesting experience.

The patient coded right before we got onto the floor, got to hear his daughter screaming in the hallway when she arrived (although we thought at the time that she was a rowdy patient family member... we didn't even know that a pt. had coded).

While they were waiting for someone to come for organ donation, the nurse allowed us all (my clinical group) to go in and listen about what happened in the situation (circumstances, and what was done to attempt to revive him, etc), and allowed us to put saline in his eyes to keep his eyes moist for the organ donation coming shortly after.

Seeing someone who was dead, with their eyes open, and feeling their FREEZING cold skin was a very different feeling... I can't really explain it. I wasn't exactly sad... I guess more reflective. I hope I don't come across too many more...

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My first patient died while I was observing in the ER. He had a massive MI. His stomach was full of air and he was blue and bloated. I was sort of in shock and I cried when I got home and realized that I witnessed this man's last moments.

Is it better to be detached?

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Specializes in Critical Care, ER.
My first patient died while I was observing in the ER. He had a massive MI. His stomach was full of air and he was blue and bloated. I was sort of in shock and I cried when I got home and realized that I witnessed this man's last moments.

Is it better to be detached?

Very important question. You know we had a great pain/grief team at NIH and after one particularly bad loss, I was in the staff room crying my a*s off to the counselor. I told him I was starting to get numb and not feel anything anymore. He told me that for the sake of both the clinicians and the patients, that when you get to the point that you are numbing up to death, that's a real sign you need to leave. So I followed his advice and I'm glad I did. I didn't mention that most if not all the other nurses on that unit were far beyond what I was in the jaded numbness department. I still work regular ICU and 'soft' nurses who are obviously affected by a patient's death are often ridiculed or considered weak except in the most tragic of cases such as pregnant women or someone the unit knows. Pretty sad, eh.

So, my answer is that it is probably safer for you emotionally to be detached, not to mention somewhat important to be solid technically while you're coding a body. Yet, you'll notice that nurse ice cube who never cries or hurts seldom shines in the empathy department.

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I still remember my first death: it was a 25 year old man who died of bone cancer. He had been in and out of the hospital and we had come to know each other well. We were the same age. We both loved football. He had a wife and 2 small children. I took his vitals on his last admission and I knew in my heart he was losing the battle. I was with him when he died and it broke my heart to see such a young person with a full life die. His wife was hysterical after he died. She ran from the room and down the hall with her car keys in her hand. We all chased her, scared she would do something to herself. We couldn't catch up with her and she returned 5 mins later with her 2 kids.

I will never forget his name, his face, his family. I will never forget the feeling that it could have been me laying there. I knew he was in miserable pain and that now he was pain free. I felt sorry for his kids who would never know their father.

And I'll never forget my boss who told me that I wasn't right for nursing if I got emotionally involved with my patients. I have never cried at work, I wait until I get home so her comment really hurt.

Well I think your boss was wrong for saying that. Why should you have to stifle your emotions. It is all a part of EMPATHY. I think being a nurse takes on many roles, we are not limited to caregiving. But we are there to love and show concern to our patients.

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My first patient died while I was observing in the ER. He had a massive MI. His stomach was full of air and he was blue and bloated. I was sort of in shock and I cried when I got home and realized that I witnessed this man's last moments.

Is it better to be detached?

I dont think it is better to be detached. The mere fact that you have those emotions, is a manifestion of who you trully are. A person who cares......

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Very important question. You know we had a great pain/grief team at NIH and after one particularly bad loss, I was in the staff room crying my a*s off to the counselor. I told him I was starting to get numb and not feel anything anymore. He told me that for the sake of both the clinicians and the patients, that when you get to the point that you are numbing up to death, that's a real sign you need to leave. So I followed his advice and I'm glad I did. I didn't mention that most if not all the other nurses on that unit were far beyond what I was in the jaded numbness department. I still work regular ICU and 'soft' nurses who are obviously affected by a patient's death are often ridiculed or considered weak except in the most tragic of cases such as pregnant women or someone the unit knows. Pretty sad, eh.

So, my answer is that it is probably safer for you emotionally to be detached, not to mention somewhat important to be solid technically while you're coding a body. Yet, you'll notice that nurse ice cube who never cries or hurts seldom shines in the empathy department.

Okay , so how do someone become emotionally detached? Make themselves become emotionally detached? Do you say, ah this is not my family, I am just doing my job; or death is a part of life, I am not going to cry and become emotional???

Of course one need to contain themselves to prevent the patient from dying in the event of a code. Doesnt mean you cannot be emotional about it. It does not mean that you fall to floor and start rolling around .

As for those hardcore nurses, that is them...if they are unfeeling...they can call me a wimp if they have to. Nursing is more than a profession, it is an act of humanity!!!!!

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When my patients are alive I do everything in my power for them.

I'm very much a patient advocate, and I'm very very good at picking up little subtle signs that maybe someone isn't doing well. Doctors don't scare me and I am liberal in my use of pain medication.

However, once someone dies, that's it for me. :o I can do no more for that person, they are in the hands of their God. :saint:

An emotional switch turns off, and I can go about the tasks of caring for the body and the family calmly.

And then, I can turn my attention back to the patients on the floor who are still living and who are still in need of my services.

Melanie

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