Any moms out there, getting the GUILTS?

memphispanda, RN · Jan 21, 2003

Well...I think guilt is part of being a mom. I am in school too, and I have 3 kids. We do almost nothing as a family--outside of home that is. We just don't have the time or money to. I feel a bit of guilt about it, however I am not sure it would be any different if I wasn't in school. Sure, I would still be working, but I didn't make that much before, we still didn't have money to DO anything. And because of the hours I worked, my weekends were full of cleaning house and that's about it. I keep telling myself that after I make it through this, I will have more time and more ability to do things with my children. I know that I will still have to work, but it will be different.

Remember too that by persevering you are being a great role model for your children. You are teaching them that you are an important person. You are teaching them that 41 isn't too late to go to school and succeed. You are teaching them that you value education.

Mkue · Jan 21, 2003

Originally posted by memphispanda
Remember too that by persevering you are being a great role model for your children. You are teaching them that you are an important person. You are teaching them that 41 isn't too late to go to school and succeed. You are teaching them that you value education.

Excellent post memphispanda !

This is what I hope my kids will remember.

howie122832 · Jan 21, 2003

If you didn't have guilt,.... you wouldn't be a parent!

It's the ones who don't feel any guilt that I worry about!

MelRN13 · Jan 21, 2003

I am finally in my last semester, but for a long time my son made me feel horrible! As he got older he realized that what I was doing was for us, not just for me..........he's 8 now and refers to the "fridge" calender to see when I'm at work or school, and I call him whenever I can when I'm on the road. It gets better, your kids just need time, good luck!

Love-A-Nurse · Jan 21, 2003

we as mothers have these thoughts and worries. i also agree they will see you being strong enough to be there for them and to achieve what you would like to accomplish, not only for you, but for them too.

thatldo · Jan 21, 2003

There was a newscaster here, a lady, very successful and also single. She had finally after years, of no time off due to her climbing the corporate ladder, took a vacation with her 7 year old daughter to Disneyworld.

On the way home from the trip on the plane, feeling very satisfied with herself for finding the time off work, she asked her daughter "What was the best part of the trip for you"?

The mom was thinking to herself that surely her daughter would say meeting Mickey Mouse, or Alice In Wonderland, the rides, etc.

But her daughter answered "jumping on the hotel bed with you mommy!"

The mother told this story on the news during her broadcast and was in tears! Had she known that all her child wanted from her was just "me & you time" I'd never had gone to Florida. Heck we could have just jumped on the beds in our own home!

So see its not the expense or the name of the resort, its just you and your child and the special times that you have with them.

That's what they will remember.

My kids are all grown now, & I was fortunate enough at the time to be able to take them on faraway trips from time to time. But when I ask them now what favorite childhood memories that they have, they all answer with something that was done right here at home.

I hope this helps all of you moms w/young ones.

Shoot what am I saying? I still have the moms guilt and my youngest is 18!!!!

:chuckle :chuckle

Mkue · Jan 21, 2003

My kids remember the ice cream they had a Disneyworld! We coulda saved a lot of $ and had ice cream at home ! Good point thatIdo. It's the little things in life that are so memorable.

opalmRN · Jan 21, 2003

Originally posted by thatldo
But her daughter answered "jumping on the hotel bed with you mommy!"

It's true, they remember the "me and you" more than the "where and how much".

If you can, take an hour that you can plan. Do something simple, make pizza for two or (depending on the age of your children) through a huge blanket over the table, gather a flashlight, pillows and crawl underneath for a well needed "camping break." It doesn't have to be for an entire day, an hour will give them good feelings for days. If your children are older, take a quick trip out to grab ice cream. Just the two of you and sit and catch up.

The idea is one on one time that reinforces that they are just as important to you as school. As they get older they will not only remember the endless hours you studied but also all the special things you did just the two of you.

Do this with each child once a month and you will be amazed at how much this does for them and also for you too!

Good luck and many happy memories too,

Cathy

RNbeach, ASN, RN · Jan 21, 2003

Thanks for sharing that story thatIldo!

Yes IF we weren't good mommy's we wouldn't feel guilty! I feel horrible a lot of the time... but they will appreciate it later... and just think what a wonderful example you are setting for your children!

B

ayemmeff · Jan 21, 2003

The "guilt pack" is secretly installed in moms at the moment of birth!Around the time they give you Santa's phone number

"If you didn't have guilt,.... you wouldn't be a parent!

It's the ones who don't feel any guilt that I worry about!"

Well put Howie.

Don't worry,Dublin,you are doing the very best you can for your children,and that's all you(or anyone) can ask of you.

maire, ASN, RN · Jan 21, 2003

I feel guilt every time I have to drop my 10 month old son (wait, he'll be 11 months old tomorrow! Wow, time flies!) at the baby sitter's (or day care provider's, whichever you prefer). I hate it. My two older children (ages 9 and 7) understand that I am going to school, but the baby just sees mama leaving...he adapts really quickly though, and that alleviates the guilt a little. That and knowing that I am finally fulfilling a dream and in the long run doing something that will benefit my children.