Alone in left field?

[darby1]

Hey guys,

I took time away from studying for a test to jot down some thoughts. I've been going through a lot of change since I got accepted into ADN school, and I feel really alone these days. My wife and I have not been getting along well (on the verge of divorce), and other people in my family are pissed at me too it seems. I've worked so hard to get to this point, that sometimes I don't care if the world stops spinning, just as long as I keep my school work going. We're in our sixth week, and already two students are GONE! I usually don't have time to look up from my studies, because I'm so far behind. On top of that, I have to keep my household chores caught up. If I can make it through nursing school, I may settle down and have a good ole' nervous breakdown and/or a good cry. Until then, I have to keep digging! Only you guys could know how I'm feeling right now. Please pray for me if the thought comes across your mind. Be cool guys. PEACE. Darby:o

[kittyw]

Originally posted by caliotter3

Know that you are not the first and not alone. I went through hell while in school. I was raising a teenage daughter alone. She disappeared right at the beginning of finals week. Guess what that did to my GPA? My mother was very ill and my father died. When I took time out for my father's death, the dean of the school decided to fail me in his class because I missed the midterm. He threw me out of his office (you should have seen the looks on the faces of the office personnel as I left; they heard this). It goes on and on, but the end result was the final straw. What did me in, eight weeks before graduation, was losing my job and consequently my home. I never graduated and have felt at a loss ever since. Don't you think I would see life differently if I would have found a way to persevere and obtain my long-suffered-for goal? Please do not give up. You can never know the disappointment you will feel if you let life defeat you from the one thing that you now want. We are all rooting for you.

((Caliotter3)) When did this happen??? The nerve of the guy!!!! Is there anyway that you can fight this? Or finish up the last semester??

[nrselisa]

I hope things get better for you soon. :) I know nursing school is so much more time consuming than I ever could of imagined. I can be caught up on everything on Monday & way behind by Wednesday! I have found myself getting snippy with every member of my family. I don't mean to, I am just stressed, tired, & worried about grades, care plans, etc. I can'r even find time to write out the bills! I had to give that job to my hubby. Hopefully things will work out, if not we are all here for you & understand. :)

Lisa

[MK2002]

Darby,

A lot of students go through what you are experiencing. It just seems like when bad times are happening to you while in school everyone else appears to be doing well. Many of them have huge struggles too. Hence the millions (yes, millions!) of college degrees that are never completed.

If you think nursing is tough, you would not believe what I went through while completing a Computer Science degree a decade ago. By the sixth week typically half the class had dropped out of every course. That was always a disturbing realization for me, because I was on financial aid. I could not drop unless I wanted to lose my financial assistance. Equally disturbing was the realization that of the remaining students not all would do well; the class was curved as usual.

In December 1992 my father died at the beginning of final exam week. It was an incredible struggle to study for exams. I remember writing a note on one final exam, explaining my situation in case the professor observed there was a sudden drop in my performance. I included the name of the hospital that cared for my father in case the professor wanted verification. I never heard anything from the professor, and somehow managed to still earn the B grade in the class.

If you look at the wrong things around you now, they have a way of staying around and becoming worse. Try to stay focused on the future on how things will be then. When you are feeling down while in school it can often take weeks before you see that your situation is becoming better. Have faith in everything you do and one day you will succeed.

[live4today, RN]

((((((((((DARBY))))))))))))))........I will keep you and your family situation in prayer as I am going through the same thing. Divorce happened to me once.....and it is going down again.... I am now hoping to return to nursing and get back on my feet in my own place in Indiana to be close to family......return to college early next year....and move on as best I can in rediscovering the "ME" I seem to have totally lost touch with in past years. Hang in there.......seek therapy if you and your wife want to preserve your family unit.....otherwise, make a peaceful parting. No divorce need be ugly when two mature adults reason together that "friendship" is far better between them as singles than to be unhappy and discontent in a marriage that doesn't seem to be meeting one another's needs.

If you ever want to talk privately about this...feel free to "PM" me. :kiss

[Mito]

Darby,

Oh yes been there done that. I had the same problem as you do. Especially in first year. I tried to get my wife to focus on how much better our life would after I was finished school. I also took her out for dinner every friday night and didn't touch any books on that night. Even in first year I did this, because homework is not like building something the more you work on it , the results only improve to a certain degree. It is healthy and far more productive to take a reqular break from the books once in awhile.

HTH

Mito

[darby1]

Thanks guys for the kind words and support. I knew some other students could relate to my plight, as only someone in nursing could. We have enough on our plate without any extra junk from home. Things will heal in time, one way or another. I think I did all right on my Fundamentals test, and now I've got to get ready for Lab tomorrow. Oh yeah, and I've got another test in Pharm. Monday, and returns in Lab again Tuesday. I think our instructors are trying to mentally exhaust us! Thanks again everyone for all your help, I feel a little better already. Well, back to the books! So goes the life of a ADN student. Hey, I'm going to be an RN when I grow up:p PEACE. Darby

[caliotter3]

kittyw

This happened a long time ago now (more than 5 years). There is a lot more to it, complicated. I have yet to go over to the school to talk to someone about it as I was waiting for the head honcho to change. I was told to get an attorney but that is reputedly just wasted effort and money. I was so discouraged for such a long time that I wanted nothing to do with nursing at all. Unfortunately I can't support myself and my family doing anything else (believe me I've tried!). So right now I am taking more time and spending more money I don't have to try to finish the Excelsior program. I just feel like I'm reinventing the wheel but I'll get by. I just wanted to encourage darby1 to stick it out b/c he will find it a lot harder the second or third time around. Thanks for your concern. I wish I would have had some support when all this stuff was happening to me. There's a lot of good advice, experience, and support on this board.

[Love-A-Nurse]

originally posted by darby1

thanks guys for the kind words and support. i knew some other students could relate to my plight, as only someone in nursing could. we have enough on our plate without any extra junk from home. things will heal in time, one way or another. i think i did all right on my fundamentals test, and now i've got to get ready for lab tomorrow. oh yeah, and i've got another test in pharm. monday, and returns in lab again tuesday. i think our instructors are trying to mentally exhaust us! thanks again everyone for all your help, i feel a little better already. well, back to the books! so goes the life of a adn student. hey, i'm going to be an rn when i grow up:p peace. darby

good to see you, darby. i will continue to remember you and your wife and daughter in my prayers. keep the faith!

[Just Angi]

Darby- my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. School really is rough on everyone. I try to keep reminding my husband and kids--- Please be patient. Take about 300 DEEP breaths, this too shall pass. If you need to talk, you can pm me here whenever. Hang in there!!