What does it take to earn respect?

  1. I have been a nurse for 30 years and have done anything and everything to advocate for my patients.

    Why can a doctor.. scream at me ...when I ask for their guidance in a patient care issue?
  2. Visit Been there,done that profile page

    About Been there,done that

    Joined: Aug '09; Posts: 6,089; Likes: 24,680


  3. by   dirtyhippiegirl
    Because they're a doctor. Duh.

  4. by   Perpetual Student
    Being 6' or taller and looking like you can lay down a whooping PRN.
  5. by   Cuddleswithpuddles
    Quote from Been there,done that
    I have been a nurse for 30 years and have done anything and everything to advocate for my patients.

    Why can a doctor.. scream at me ...when I ask for their guidance in a patient care issue?
    That is not even a matter of respect, in my opinion. It is a matter of basic courtesy. You do not yell at people you work with.... even if you do not respect them.

    I grapple with the acceptance of the rude behavior of some people I have crossed paths with. Coworkers shrug their shoulders and say, "That's just how they are" or "Don't call during the night, don't bother so-and-so, don't even try to..." I understand that my more experienced coworkers mean well but I do not understand why I have to tip toe around crabby people just because they will get crabbier. I believe people teach others how they want to be treated and, unfortunately, some have used loudness and brashness to teach people to compromise their own care and patient advocacy so that they will not be bothered. And, also unfortunately, people learn that lesson. I myself struggle with it.
  6. by   Aurora77
    I don't think you can ever earn the respect of a jerk. The best you can do is do your job well and let their inadequacies (b/c that's what it boils down to--nasty people are afraid of something) roll off your back. I don't believe in tiptoeing around those sorts of people.
  7. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    Sounds like you won, I hope you know that. I wrote and deleted everything 3 or 4 times trying to say what I mean. Doctors are considered "Customers" of these facilities that tolerate their abusive personalities and God complexes. I don't think there is really anything we can do to appeal to the physician to change their behavior.

    I have however disagreed to work with a certain reckless, unsafe, and verbally abusive MD in the ER Dept. at my own risk of being terminated from an assignment, but after 3 more "Staff" RNs followed my lead, something drastically changed in his personality towards nurses. (no that didn't change his incompetence, but I'm addressing the topic).

    It has to be Administration that deals with these physicians that are Verbally Abusive. You also know docs that are so vital to the facility, they will never suffer a slap to the wrist.

    If I ever see a nurse act 1/3 as crazy as I have seen MDs act on the floor, they would have been Drug Tested, Written Up, and suspended/terminated on the spot. The Physician however is back in a Hospital Office the next AM waiting to cut on a patient, with Administration worshipping at his/her feet.

    There is no other "Profession" where in 2012, it is "culturally acceptable" to degrade, violate, and bully a fellow colleague, and upon reciept of complaint - address the victim as to what they can do to avoid this from happening again.

    It is complete atrocity that goes unpunished in Nursing everyday. Abusive Physicians should be considered in violation of workplace violence in my opinion.
  8. by   GitanoRN
    sincerely i am sorry that a season nurse like yourself has to be treated in this manner. therefore, for more the reason for us nurses to stand together and backup our colleagues when they are in the right. as i stated on previous post we need to stop the "lateral violence" in the workforce period.
  9. by   twinkletoes53
    I was raised to be polite, and my behavior and attitudes carried over into my work. People usually treated me the way that I treated them, but not always.
    I did work with many doctors who had a "God complex". I remember one year when I was the evening shift coordinator in our NICU. We had a horrific, God-awful surgeon who would yell at everyone, and curse at his residents. It got to the point that when making out patient assignments, I couldn't get nurses to take care of surgery babies. The nurses that DID have these babies would scurry out of the room if they saw Dr. G coming in on rounds. If they stayed with the baby, they invariably ended up in tears by the time he left. So I'd meet him @ the front of our NICU, and follow him from bed to bed, answering questions.
    I explained the situation to my Nurse Manager, and she spoke with Dr. G. He came out with the "who, me?" attitude. Denied everything. Said he NEVER raised his voice or cursed. Then when he came in on rounds, he asked me if nurses were really afraid of him...I just stared him down, and he grinned. He knew that I wasn't afraid of him. And as much as he hated to admit it, he respected me for that.
  10. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    All due respect, we shouldn't have to win anyone's respect to be treated with dignity. Title or no title. Period.
  11. by   merlee
    This is still going on??? If someone starts screaming, walk away, call your supervisor, call administration, even call security.

    This behaviour is totally unacceptable.
  12. by   Davey Do
    Quote from Aurora77
    I don't think you can ever earn the respect of a jerk. The best you can do is do your job well
    And we can't change another. We can only change our perception.

    No one makes us feel any way. If Another can make us feel a certain way, then we are giving them control over our feelings.

    Oh sure- there are Rude People who seem not to give two hoots about Another's feeliings and a Negative Feeling would be an appropriate reaction to their behavior. However- to give attention to, or place importance on Inappropriate Behavior from Anyone is to give that Person with that Behavior power.

    My M.O. is to deal with Inappropriate Behavior by exhibiting Appropriate Behavior.

    It works. I've used this Method with Doctors, Nursing Practioners, Supervisors, Patients, and Patients' Families and it's not failed me yet.

    The best to you, BTDT.

  13. by   BostonTerrierLoverRN
    I have never seen a nurse act anyway but appropriate,While and Despite the doctor screaming like a "2 year old- can't have that toy,"
    But, I guess I could aspire to act better in my head when they throw a tantrum.
  14. by   HouTx
    Your employer should have an defined process for dealing with disruptive physicians that you can follow. This is a requirement for all JC accredited organizations. If they don't, it should warrant at least an incident report. It is a form of workplace harassment that no one should be subjected to. If the doc is allowed to get away with it, it will only encourage similar behavior in the future.