Terminated because of my Attention Deficit Disorder - page 5

Just needed to vent a little. What a rough day today, I was terminated today because of may ADD. I made this clear with the DON when she was terminating me if it was based on my work performance... Read More

  1. by   yelnikmcwawa
    Quote from sharpeimom
    also, when mom remembers to keep all three kids on schedule and feed them regularly, it really makes a huge difference. and, yes, children's services have been involved. on their meds, they can concentrate, use indoor voices, play with their little sister, are kind to and care for the dog, do a or b school work, go to bed and actually sleep,
    like different kids. does it exsist? absolutely!

    sharpeimom
    yeah, feeding your kids regularly ususally helps their behavior!

    you know, many people in the mental health field propose that add is not a "disability or disorder", but rather a disconect between today's sedentary lifestyle and the biological behaviors that humans evolved to live suscessful, productive lives in a hunter and gatherer society. we are simply not biologically programed to text message, watch tv, and sit at a computer all day. we are supposed to be out forraging for foods and keeping camp. those who have "add" might be better suited for what life was "suposed to be like", had we not developed technology.

    it also quite possibly results from people having an unrealistic expectation of what children should developmentally be doing. all too much today, people try to keep their kids quiet and out of our s**t, when in reality, kids are supposed to be touching, exploring, jumping, asking questions, building, creating, and getting messy. also, children are supposed to "be bad". doing so is what teaches them what is and is not appropriate as they get older.

    so, having a high energy, impulsive child is now too disruptive to our sedentary lifestyle so we choose to medicate them to shut them up! :angryfire

    rather than medicating our children, we need to be teachign them appropriate coping mechanisms as children, so they can grow up to be adults with the tools needed to be be productive and control their impulses. without that teaching, we just mask the problems and these children grow up without ever being given those tools. no f'ing wonder we have so many people who think they have add now!

    i'm sorry, but add is usually a parenting issue and not so much of a child's "brain chemistry" problem. yes, those children are higher energy, but it is the parent's problem if they can't handle it. interesting that the medical community still has not been able to come up with any proof that a chemical imbalance or functional difference actually exists in these people. the tests are all subjective, are based on parent report, and exists of questons pertaining to how that child functions in a sedentary lifestyle. :icon_roll

    adults with "add" have simply developed bad habits and might need to find a profession that interests them more.
  2. by   morte
    Quote from yelnikmcwawa
    Yeah, feeding your kids regularly ususally helps their behavior!

    You know, many people in the mental health field propose that ADD is not a "disability or disorder", but rather a disconect between today's sedentary lifestyle and the biological behaviors that humans evolved to live suscessful, productive lives in a hunter and gatherer society. We are simply not biologically programed to text message, watch TV, and sit at a computer all day. We are supposed to be out forraging for foods and keeping camp. Those who have "ADD" might be better suited for what life was "suposed to be like", had we not developed technology.

    It also quite possibly results from people having an unrealistic expectation of what children should developmentally be doing. All too much today, people try to keep their kids quiet and out of our s**t, when in reality, kids are supposed to be touching, exploring, jumping, asking questions, building, creating, and getting messy. Also, children are supposed to "be bad". Doing so is what teaches them what is and is not appropriate as they get older.

    So, having a high energy, impulsive child is now too disruptive to our sedentary lifestyle so we choose to medicate them to shut them up! :angryfire

    Rather than medicating our children, we need to be teachign them appropriate coping mechanisms as children, so they can grow up to be adults with the tools needed to be be productive and control their impulses. Without that teaching, we just mask the problems and these children grow up without ever being given those tools. No f'ing wonder we have so many people who think they have ADD now!

    I'm sorry, but ADD is usually a parenting issue and not so much of a child's "brain chemistry" problem. Yes, those children are higher energy, but it is the parent's problem if they can't handle it. Interesting that the medical community still has not been able to come up with any proof that a chemical imbalance or functional difference actually exists in these people. The tests are all subjective, are based on parent report, and exists of questons pertaining to how that child functions in a sedentary lifestyle. :icon_roll

    Adults with "ADD" have simply developed bad habits and might need to find a profession that interests them more.
    lol, and you went to med school where?, and did you psychiatry residencey where?
  3. by   yelnikmcwawa
    Quote from morte
    lol, and you went to med school where?, and did you psychiatry residencey where?
    haha! Husband is a child and family psychologist, and he has his own practice with a psych NP. I went to graduate school for infant and child development and do child development evaluations. I see the worst of the worst and the best of the best parenting on a daily basis.

    I have a 3 year old son who bounces off the walls all day long and he bugs the crap out of me most days:spin:, but never in a million years would I medicate him...same thing my husband says!!!!! I am working through it now, and although I go to bed exhaused most nights, I know that I am giving my son the tools he needs to be a productive, and focused adult. That is the commitment I made to my child when I decided to start a family...to actutally parent my child!!!

    I never claimed to be a psychiatrist, but most psychiatrists will tell you they don't know what causes ADD. There is a lot of research being done, but no one's theory is proving to be better than the next. I have seen amazing things come out of cognitive/behavioral therapy with parents...and that seems to me to be a better path to take than medication when children are so young.

    Since when did adults decide it was appropriate to hold young children accountable for their behavior????????? I just get sick of hearing people blame their difficulties concentrating on ADD. I too have troubles concentrating, but I take accountability and am the first to admit that I didn't get my reports done on time because I was too busy dicking around on the internet!

    The question you ask me can also and be asked of those who claim that ADD does exist!
  4. by   sbyramRN
    I think ADD exists, but I don't see how it can be classified as a "disability" in adults.
  5. by   WalkieTalkie
    Quote from sbyramRN
    I think ADD exists, but I don't see how it can be classified as a "disability" in adults.
    Seriously? Try living with it and then tell me that. I've been an unmedicated adult without therapy and finally a medicated one with therapy. Now I just need my meds and I went from getting kicked out of high school with crappy college grades to graduating summa cum laude.
  6. by   yelnikmcwawa
    Quote from c0ntagion
    Seriously? Try living with it and then tell me that. I've been an unmedicated adult without therapy and finally a medicated one with therapy. Now I just need my meds and I went from getting kicked out of high school with crappy college grades to graduating summa cum laude.
    Exactly! With hard work and dilegence, ADD can be overcome. This is why I agree that ADD should not be considered a disability in adults, nor children. I, for one, do not in any way shape or form, believe that people who present with a dx of ADD only should be eligible to ever recieve disability benefits.

    The diagnostic criteria are way too subjective for anyone to ever prove that their inability to focus or control their impulses is from a chemical imbalance vs. poor habit formation.
  7. by   Neveranurseagain
    Quote from yelnikmcwawa
    Yeah, feeding your kids regularly ususally helps their behavior!

    You know, many people in the mental health field propose that ADD is not a "disability or disorder", but rather a disconect between today's sedentary lifestyle and the biological behaviors that humans evolved to live suscessful, productive lives in a hunter and gatherer society. We are simply not biologically programed to text message, watch TV, and sit at a computer all day. We are supposed to be out forraging for foods and keeping camp. Those who have "ADD" might be better suited for what life was "supposed to be like", had we not developed technology.

    It also quite possibly results from people having an unrealistic expectation of what children should developmentally be doing. All too much today, people try to keep their kids quiet and out of our s**t, when in reality, kids are supposed to be touching, exploring, jumping, asking questions, building, creating, and getting messy. Also, children are supposed to "be bad". Doing so is what teaches them what is and is not appropriate as they get older.

    So, having a high energy, impulsive child is now too disruptive to our sedentary lifestyle so we choose to medicate them to shut them up! :angryfire

    Rather than medicating our children, we need to be teachign them appropriate coping mechanisms as children, so they can grow up to be adults with the tools needed to be be productive and control their impulses. Without that teaching, we just mask the problems and these children grow up without ever being given those tools. No f'ing wonder we have so many people who think they have ADD now!

    I'm sorry, but ADD is usually a parenting issue and not so much of a child's "brain chemistry" problem. Yes, those children are higher energy, but it is the parent's problem if they can't handle it. Interesting that the medical community still has not been able to come up with any proof that a chemical imbalance or functional difference actually exists in these people. The tests are all subjective, are based on parent report, and exists of questons pertaining to how that child functions in a sedentary lifestyle. :icon_roll

    Adults with "ADD" have simply developed bad habits and might need to find a profession that interests them more.
    How many hours have you spent in a classroom observing ADHD children before medication then after? I'm not proposing every child needs to be medicated--some are just behavior problems but believe me, ADHD exists.

    I was told about the hx of using stimilants for ADHA is that by the peds I worked. He said that in the 1950's a group of teens were at a group home because they were hard to control and too active to stay at regular school and home. Many of them became overweight as a result of inactivity etc so stimulants where given to (like Fastim) and suddenly the boys were easier to get along with and more focused. And there are many
    adults with ADHD...usually fairly sucessful one they find their nitch. By adulthood, they learn to channel all their drive and energy into their business and end up doing well.

    Veln--wait til your child starts school. If he is bouncing off the walls in the classroom, disrupting other students from learning, then he will be sent to a classroom for ED children if you refuse to medicate him (if he needs it) or if behavior therapy is ineffective. Or you may have to home school him. Uncontrolled ADHD has no place in a regular classroom--they prevent other kids from learning. I removed my daughter from a classroom when she was in 3rd grade because of an out of control ADHD child. Meds don't need to be started at age 3--just given when needed--in the classroom. They can be DC for weekends and days he is not in school. Since cognitive/behavioral therapy works, you'd better start with it now before he becomes conditioned to behave the way he does. I have always felt therapy should go hand in hand with ADHD meds (I also think schools should have LCSW too) but it is rarely done. Insurance companies like pills because they are cheaper than therapy.
    Last edit by Neveranurseagain on Apr 18, '09
  8. by   FireStarterRN
    I think ADD is when the brain is un-synchronized, sort of like an out of tune engine where things aren't firing correctly. The meds help synchronize the brain and body. I think it's like the brain is in high gear and the body is in another gear, and they working out of synch. Or, the brain is in the key of G and the body is in A# and it's making some pretty funky sounding music.
  9. by   yelnikmcwawa
    Quote from awsmom8
    How many hours have you spent in a classroom observing ADHD children before medication then after? I'm not proposing every child needs to be medicated--some are just behavior problems but believe me, ADHD exists.

    I was told about the hx of using stimilants for ADHA is that by the peds I worked. He said that in the 1950's a group of teens were at a group home because they were hard to control and too active to stay at regular school and home. Many of them became overweight as a result of inactivity etc so stimulants where given to (like Fastim) and suddenly the boys were easier to get along with and more focused. And there are many
    adults with ADHD...usually fairly sucessful one they find their nitch. By adulthood, they learn to channel all their drive and energy into their business and end up doing well.
    The medications work wonders...what's your point??? Stimulant medications for ADHD will help every person who takes them focus better. I can also take a laxative and crap my brains out even though I wasn't constipated to begin with.

    Look, the medications help children calm down. But my point is that that is not what is always in the best interest of the child! Behavior management and parenting skill education for hyperactive children works just as well, and it even includes the added bonus of actually teaching those children how to cope in future years! Solely medicating children does not do that...quite the contrary.

    ADHD medications have been shown to place children at higher risks of psychosis later in life. No one knows yet if that is a coorelation, but that risk exists, and the not knowing sure as hell makes me never want to expose my child to such risk! I also take issue with the need to have children sit down and shut up. If my child needs to stand at his desk to do homework...so be it!
  10. by   FireStarterRN
    It's really easy for people to condescendingly proclaim the parenting skill of those with challenging children to be deficient, and take all the credit for their easy to live with child.

    It ain't that simple, folks. Anyone who has a large family (such as myself) knows the truth, which is that each child comes into this world with inborn traits.
  11. by   Neveranurseagain
    I agree, Veln that therapy works, but for true, full blown ADHD it sometimes doesn't. This is were therapy and meds work best. I also do not feel it is ethical to give ADHD med without therapy. But insurance companies like pills because they are cheaper than therapy. And in a perfect world, there would be LCSW at every school to reinforce behavior therapy and help kids with issues...but unfortunately this will probably never happen.

    OOps! I think we hijacked a thread..hope the Navy won't shoot us. Sorry, LPNmom! Be sure to see a therapist too for some behavior modification...
  12. by   yelnikmcwawa
    Quote from awsmom8
    Veln--wait til your child starts school. If he is bouncing off the walls in the classroom, disrupting other students from learning, then he will be sent to a classroom for ED children if you refuse to medicate him (if he needs it) or if behavior therapy is ineffective. Or you may have to home school him. Uncontrolled ADHD has no place in a regular classroom--they prevent other kids from learning. I removed my daughter from a classroom when she was in 3rd grade because of an out of control ADHD child. Meds don't need to be started at age 3--just given when needed--in the classroom. They can be DC for weekends and days he is not in school. Since cognitive/behavioral therapy works, you'd better start with it now before he becomes conditioned to behave the way he does. I have always felt therapy should go hand in hand with ADHD meds (I also think schools should have LCSW too) but it is rarely done. Insurance companies like pills because they are cheaper than therapy.
    Nope, my son does extremely well at the school he is in. And yes, he is at a school that runs an educational montessori curriculum, not a daycare. He has no behavior propblems when he is properely challenged. I said he bounced off the walls...I NEVER said he has disruptive behavior problems.

    You talk about how you just need to use the meds when they are at school...that is exactly my problem with the use of ADHD meds. You never really get to solve the problem. Just mask it.

    Look, I never said this was an easy thing to fix or deal with. I just happen to disagree with how our society handles hyperactive children, and I'm entitled to my opinion. I personally believe that there are better ways to educate these children. And I'm not naive. I work in early childhood intervention and have for years. This crap is old hat to me.
  13. by   yelnikmcwawa
    Quote from FireStarterRN
    It's really easy for people to condescendingly proclaim the parenting skill of those with challenging children to be deficient, and take all the credit for their easy to live with child.

    It ain't that simple, folks. Anyone who has a large family (such as myself) knows the truth, which is that each child comes into this world with inborn traits.
    I never said that any parent of a child with ADD was a BAD parent or had BAD parenting skills. And no, my son is not easy. He is at risk of being a child whom some might like to label him as having ADHD, but we have found a perfect school for him that works with his energy and he is thriving.

    I teach parents of children with disabilities how to foster their children's development. The kids I see have things from language delays to cerebral palsy, to fatal illnesses. These parents are most of the time wonderful parents, but they are having to learn how to parent their kids differently, as a reslt of the challenges their children face. Children who are labeled as having ADD/ADHD need different parenting than your average child. I feel that these parents need to educate themselves how they can better foster their children. Those that do, most often have more suscess. Those that don't...well those are the ones that want to mask the problme and then they end up with adult children who have developed bad habits. My parents are guilty of that but that doesn't mean I think they were bad!

    Look, I'm not pigeonholeing EVERY family, just the trends I see.

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