Starting nurse internship but discouraged due to an old write up...

Nurses General Nursing

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I am new to this site so please bare with me as I get the hang of it. Okay, I'm graduating Dec 11 (should be taking boards in late December) and was fortunate to receive a nurse internship at a pediatric hospital I have previously been employed as a Summer Aide at before. I have never been told anything but praises and no complaints by coworkers on the previous units I worked as a summer aide. But I was called in today and the woman told me she wanted to "coach" me regarding some things to learn from. The biggest thing that hit me was when she said I had received a negative report on my record from when I worked there last summer 09 (not this summer) for being "too friendly/flirty".:crying2:

I was very hurt by this because I know exactly who tried to get me in trouble (and she even knew I was happily engaged!) because she was always mean to me. I am always nice and greeting coworkers (including housekeepers, maintenance,etc). That's simply who I am being the Christian that I am. There is this one employee (who did have a crush on me but I turned him down when he asked me out) that I would still occasionally talk to and one of the nurses and my supervisor saw us talking and turned it into something it wasn't even though they knew I was engaged (now happily married). But I was never told I had gotten written up so when this came up I was devastated and cried and the woman told me it was a disservice to me that I was never told. Plus I don't know what to do when I see that same coworker around because I obviously can't talk to him because of being afraid someone will take it the wrong way!

THEN after all that was discussed, she told me when i had interviewed for a position on another unit recently that the nurses simply "did not want me" there because I "didn't chip in"---- again, everyone always told me how helpful I was and how they would love to have me back when I graduated!!! I ALWAYS did what I was told and asked to help others. But on the same token I also didn't want to annoy anyone by making them find me something to do when i had breaks. If I asked if they needed something and they said "no" (which was most of the time), then I would not bother them any further and wait for them to let me know if they needed me.

This whole meeting just devastated me but she told me that she wanted to tell me these things as "coaching" and that she felt I would flourish on the units I'll work on as a nurse intern. I guess I should just be thankful to have an internship and to get to learn from these issues and also learn just how fickle and backstabbing coworkers can sometimes be, even if they say they're your friend.:crying2:

Has anyone else ever had a similar issue? I was just so hurt and cried for hours that i was written up for being "too friendly" when I'm happily married and then that some people had openly said they simply "didn't want me" after acting like they were friends. I just am so discouraged before I even start my internship and so worried that I'll do something wrong and not be 'good enough', which would devastate me because I love nursing and pediatrics. I could use encouraging words to help me focus on the future in dealing with this and not on what others have said about me.

Specializes in Flight, ER, Transport, ICU/Critical Care.

I would try to take it at face value (I know it stings to be in the 'gottcha chair') and put it behind me and be receptive and open to "coaching" and focus on becoming a great nurse.

I will also say ---- WELCOME to nursing's dirty little secret! Back-door bullies and the like (there are volumes on lateral hostility/violence - if you want to look 6 months from now) for NOW --- head down, mouth shut, work hard, do your job, leave work at work. Work on developing a thick skin - I, too, had some issues with "tearful" attack reactions early on - finally, I'd had my fill and resolved to cry only with patients/families/co-workers in the rare events I could not control my happy or sad emotions. The bully nurse manager that shaped my early career - learned that too much is too much and when she tried to come at me again - I called her back after nasty VM on an outside line from HR at the hospital and let the HR director listen in - GOOD TIMES! Sorry, I digressed. :eek:

In fairness, there are a LOT more 1. folks uninterested in your job as long as you do you job and 2. truly supportive folks that will help and mentor as you become the best nurse you be.

You appear to be most fortunate that you are not in the no-internship or options category as a new grad in this market. Focus on what needs to be done and let the "haters" learn from your success.

Good LUCK

Practice SAFE

:angel:

Specializes in Case Management.

First, Congratulations on graduating and obtaining an internship so quickly! Don't be discouraged, it happens, everywhere! Be glad that the unit that said they didn't want you did so because that would have probably been a terrible unit to work on! Good luck with your new position and don't let what was said discourage you. Keep working hard and offer help when you can, accept it gracefully when others offer it, don't let anyone get you down, if anyone gives you problems, let it roll off your back, be friendly because that is a good thing, and remember when you have more experience to be nice to the new ones. I think you will do fine.

Specializes in MCH,NICU,NNsy,Educ,Village Nursing.

Congratulations on your internship! Press on, sister, and don't let the hateful nature of previous comments bring you down. Remember===you are a good nurse, have had positive remarks from others, and you know your heart & intent. I remember finding out that my coworkers told our manager that they felt I was unsafe to work with at night because I wouldn't help during c-sections. Well, the interesting thing about that was that I had to be oriented first and every time I asked for orientation I was denied--was told that the unit was too busy and the reason I was there was they were too busy and that I was needed elsewhere. All that to say--please the One Who put you there, do your best, and don't let the negative Nellies get you down. Godspeed!!!

Specializes in LTC, Memory loss, PDN.

Have you prayed over it ? Let your faith be your shield.

Congratulations on your internship! Given the difficulties new grads are finding in getting work this could set you up for life.

Now, to the busines of the advice your received. Use the advice wisely and develop a new work ethic to go with your new job - you will need it if you wish to be as professional as possible in your new function as RN. You have described the criticisms as being too friendly, too flirty. It may or may not have been related to "sex/dating" situations. I know a lot about this because I was an aide once and behaved in a similar way. I didn't realize how out-of-place the behavior is until I worked as an RN in a unit where there were aides doing exactly what I had done. From the point of view of the aides, they were not doing anything wrong but from an RN (or other professional) perspective it is out of place in an area where people are sick. Those who criticized you may think you are going to bring that same personality and behavior into the workplace when you should be functioning at a higher level as an RN. If you are busy being a Polyanna you may have the appearance of not taking the teaching and patient care issues seriously. If you don't have a particular task to do then watch and listen to the patient, to the mentors, to those around you who are "working" not to those who are "socializing". I recommend trying to keep your socializing out of the workplace until you have more experience. You have a lot to learn.

Note - I just re-read your post and note that you are working in peds. So, you can charm your little patients but keep your "cuteness" to a minimum when speaking with parents. I think that will help you use your talents (flirting is definitely a talent) in an appropriate way. Pediatric patients need to see smiling, happy faces and I'm sure you have a wonderful one. You'll see when you start working as an RN. You won't have any problems with "socializing" like you were accused of doing before. You will be too busy!

Specializes in critical care.
I guess I should just be thankful to have an internship and to get to learn from these issues and also learn just how fickle and backstabbing coworkers can sometimes be, even if they say they're your friend.:crying2:.

Looks like you hit the nail on the head here. I can't give you much advice except to say I'm sorry this happened to you. You seem to have a pretty rational outlook on the situation, but of course that doesn't mean it won't hurt. I think that we "friendly" people tend to take insults and backstabbing the hardest... its dumbfounding really, how some people treat others.

Just keep your chin up. You're obviously good at your job and have a bright future ahead of you. As cr*ppy as this situation may be, it is just a blip on the radar in the scheme of things. It will blow over as soon as you let it.

Good luck and enjoy your new career. :heartbeat:nurse:

Oh, and P.S. For what it's worth, I'm willing to bet your co-workers were acting out of jealousy.

Specializes in Cardiovascular.

i had something similar like that happen to me!

i was working at a hospital as a unit secretary and we would help the nurses and doctors with anything they needed, stock the floor with supplies, help families etc. i loved my job and felt pride working in the hospital that i was at. i worked there for 1yr and 10 months and never had a write up or any issues. 5 months before i was supposed to graduate the bosses called me into their office and told me that i was not engaged in my job, i never went above and beyond and was not doing well and they were not going to hire me on as a nurse when i was done with school. the whole reason i worked there was to get my foot in the door and do a good job and get hired on as a nurse when i was done! i was blindsided!!

i cried to them and told them i had no idea what they were talking about since the other dr's and nurses always said how helpful i was and everything seemed fine. i only worked every other weekend so the bosses werent even there when i was working....so i knew someone was backstabbing me!

i decided to kill them with kindness and keep doing a kickass job! i also wrote down every thing i did to go above and beyond that way i had proof that i was not slacking! 2 months later i requested to speak with the boss and she said i was not going above and beyond and she was not going to hire me! after that i realized that place was not worth my time and effort and i transferred to another hospital within the system! that unit had waaayyy to much drama and i am so happy i got out of there!

now i completely left the system and am working at a very respected hospital as a nurse and i love it! my job challenges me every day and i learn a million new things every time i work! i am still new and getting the hang of things...but its getting better! i learned a lesson at that job...every floor has their drama and backstabbers and i just stay out of all that and always kill everyone with kindness. its the best way to go! things will get better...just remember to work hard because you know yourself that you are a good person and a good worker, and sometimes bosses cant look past what their favorite workers say to them...aka the kiss ass! lol!!!! good luck!!!! :)

Specializes in Medical Surgical Orthopedic.

I'm not sure what the point of her telling you that stuff was? If you were "too flirty" in the summer of 2009, then it should have been addressed then, not in the winter of 2010. The comment about the other nurses "not wanting you" was out of line, too. I doubt that each nurse on the unit was asked what they thought of you and they all gave the same answer. It sounds more like something ONE person said, although other "sheep" within earshot may have chimed in just to hear their own voices.

Think of it as worthless junk-mail and throw it right into the trash.

I love how you are supposed to just intuitively know that a coworker needs your help when you have your own pt load of 6-8 pts and are engrossed in getting your own job done! If someone needs help, I give it, if you don't ask me for help, how can you say I was unhelpful? I think there are backstabbing, jealous, unhappy people no matter where you work. It looks like that unit wasn't interested in hiring you, and it's a good thing you aren't getting stuck there with people who don't think much of you. You are better off somewhere else, with nicer people!

Thank you guys so much for the kind words.:heartbeat I spent the whole day crying about this and it even disturbed my sleep to the point to where I woke up and have been up since. My mind wants to fixate on these negative things that were said because I have such a big heart and can't believe how hurtful people can be but it'll drive you crazy thinking about it! I'm trying to find a way to put it behind me as I prepare to start back to work at that same hospital but with a new job. I feel paranoid I can't trust anyone now and that someone will always be out to hurt me regardless of how nice I am or what a good job I do. I don't want to start work that way. I love peds and I love nursing. It's just that all that makes me feel like a failure before I even start! Please pray for me and that I can focus my energy on my future as a new RN and not on what a couple fickle and self-centered people said and wrote about me in the past. Any advice on the best ways of going about doing that? :confused: Thanks,again.

Oh, and I didn't mention that at this same meeting the woman also told me that 3 or 4 people did not like what I wore at my interview for the internship and that my sweater, which had a nice cami under, was too low cut. I broke down on her AGAIN (and I don't cry easily!) because I told her I was a newlywed and that me and my husband were in a tight spot and I hadn't been able to purchase any professional clothes. :o The thing is I haven't been able to work because of trying to finish nursing school so we've had 1 income in our household and I'm sorry, I had to use what I thought were the best clothes I had because I couldn't sacrifice our power or food for a $50 or $60 shirt. I know the situation will change once I have an income coming in and I'll be happy to get more professional clothes but this was a very embarrassing and sensitive subject. Then she suggested in my situation that I should try going to the thrift store and that I'd find clothes there! I was humiliated!! :crying2: But anyways, this was just ANOTHER negative that came up in that same conversation so I was devastated because myself (and my husband!) thought I looked nice. I felt like a complete failure because of all these negatives that came up at once! Totally blind-sided! But she said it was between me and 3 others so SOMETHING positive must have helped them choose me (or perhaps the fact my father works there, which doesn't make me feel better). I know she was telling me all this to help and I just want to find a way to move on from these negative things and focus on the future! I just keep fixating on this conversation because I feel like a failure before I even start my internship!

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