spacy224

Hello. I am happy to have just graduated with my BSN from a 4 year institution. I should take my boards within the next month. Please keep me in your prayers because I have to pass NCLEX the first time in order to keep my internship at Children's Hospital so really nervous! (I'm about to start the Hurst Online Review soon to prepare). Anyways, I'm excited for being done with school and getting a job but am also really nervous about being on my own now in the real world and really having lives in my hands. Is that a normal feeling when you are a new nurse? Thankfully, assuming I pass boards the first time, I'll have preceptors during my 6 month internship so maybe that's a good thing to help me get in the flow of things. But still nervous now that I'm really about to be a nurse!

Somewhat, yes. I just wanted to reiterate and give the background of my question. So is a negative report and write up different especially if you never signed anything? I just had a really bad week and am trying to focus on the future and forget about what a few people thought about me from almost 2 years ago that got brought up. I want to focus on positives and put everything in His hands.

I had a meeting regarding an internship this week that I was offered and thought that we were going to discuss good things. Well, apparently this was a time that she said she wanted to meet with me to "coach" me on some things that came up in the background check process. I had previously been a summer aide for two summers prior to getting this internship. I am a friendly person and as a Christian I try to treat everyone (regardless of position i.e. housekeeper, RN, CFO,etc) at the hospital equally and nicely because I believe it takes everyone to make a healthcare institution work and that no one is better than the other. I was devastated to find out that apparently, an old supervisor from summer of 2009 (not summer of '10) had a so called "negative report" on my record for being "too friendly/flirty" ---i know exactly how this came about because there was one nurse that was always trying to get me in trouble with the supervisor and saw me being nice to a male employee and decided to take that and run with it and turn it into something so then whenever the supervisor saw me talking to that employee she assumed I was flirting based on what the nurse said (even though they all knew I was happily engaged [now married]!). I even apologized to the supervisor the one day this came up for any confusion because I was just trying to be friendly to everyone. Anyways, up until my meeting this week this was the first I EVER heard about any negative report on my record and know that I did not sign any kind of document bc I would've remembered. I was heartbroken to find this out because my hard work was overlooked due to someone wanting to backstab me simply because they wanted to get the new girl in trouble bc she could. In this same meeting, the woman "coaching" me went on to tell me another unit that I had interviewed on after working as a summer aide there, said the "nurses didn't want me" and that whoever they talked to said I didn't "chip in" while there which is completely FALSE! Apparently from what I can tell, nurses from the inpatient side of the unit (who didn't get to work with me but maybe a few days over the summer) were asked about me but not the outpatient clinic workers (which is where I worked the whole summer was on outpatient!). The inpatient nurses didn't work with me but 2 or 3 days and knew I was put on the outpatient side to help. I believe one nurse probably said she didn't like me and some of her buddies joined in. Had the outpatient clinic workers been asked about my work ethic, I know that it would've been a completely different story! I am still devastated about these things that came up- then on top of that the woman that told me I got the internship didn't like the sweater I wore at my interview for the internship because it was too low cut (i had a nice cami under and my husband even thought I looked professional). But clearly with these negative things that blind-sided me there must be good that I've done since I still got the internship! All this she brought up just made me feel like a failure before I even start. So going back to what I talked about earlier, since I NEVER signed anything when I worked Summer of 09, does this mean there was still a "write up" or is a "negative report" on my record different?? Still so upset about this.

Well, actually she didn't say it was an actual "write up" but a negative report on my record..... so is that different? Is that better than a write up? I thought you had to sign if you had a write up too but I never did and even asked my husband who knows he wouldve remembered me telling him that. Thanks so much. These encouraging words are really helping. Please continue! :redbeathe

I am new to this site so please bare with me as I get the hang of it. Okay, I'm graduating Dec 11 (should be taking boards in late December) and was fortunate to receive a nurse internship at a pediatric hospital I have previously been employed as a Summer Aide at before. I have never been told anything but praises and no complaints by coworkers on the previous units I worked as a summer aide. But I was called in today and the woman told me she wanted to "coach" me regarding some things to learn from. The biggest thing that hit me was when she said I had received a negative report on my record from when I worked there last summer 09 (not this summer) for being "too friendly/flirty". I was very hurt by this because I know exactly who tried to get me in trouble (and she even knew I was happily engaged!) because she was always mean to me. I am always nice and greeting coworkers (including housekeepers, maintenance,etc). That's simply who I am being the Christian that I am. There is this one employee (who did have a crush on me but I turned him down when he asked me out) that I would still occasionally talk to and one of the nurses and my supervisor saw us talking and turned it into something it wasn't even though they knew I was engaged (now happily married). But I was never told I had gotten written up so when this came up I was devastated and cried and the woman told me it was a disservice to me that I was never told. Plus I don't know what to do when I see that same coworker around because I obviously can't talk to him because of being afraid someone will take it the wrong way! THEN after all that was discussed, she told me when i had interviewed for a position on another unit recently that the nurses simply "did not want me" there because I "didn't chip in"---- again, everyone always told me how helpful I was and how they would love to have me back when I graduated!!! I ALWAYS did what I was told and asked to help others. But on the same token I also didn't want to annoy anyone by making them find me something to do when i had breaks from my own tasks. If I asked if they needed something and they said "no" (which was most of the time), then I would not bother them any further and wait for them to let me know if they needed me. THEN at this same meeting the woman also told me that 3 or 4 people did not like what I wore at my interview for the internship and that my sweater, which had a nice cami under, was too low cut. I broke down on her AGAIN (and I don't cry easily!) because I told her I was a newlywed and that me and my husband were in a tight spot and I hadn't been able to purchase any professional clothes. I used the nicest clothes I had because I couldn't sacrifice our power or food for a $50 or $60 shirt. I know the situation will change once I have an income coming in and I'll be happy to get more professional clothes but this was a very embarrassing and sensitive subject. Then she suggested in my situation that I should try going to the thrift store and that I'd find clothes there! I was humiliated! But anyways, this was just ANOTHER negative that came up in that same conversation so I was devastated because myself (and my husband!) thought I looked nice. I know she was telling me all this to help and I just want to find a way to move on from these negative things and focus on the future! I just keep fixating on this conversation because I feel like a failure before I even start my internship! She told me that she wanted to tell me these things as "coaching" and that she felt I would flourish on the units I'll work on as a nurse intern. I guess I should just be thankful to have an internship and to get to learn from these issues and also learn just how fickle and backstabbing coworkers can sometimes be, even if they say they're your friend. I was just so hurt and cried for hours that i was written up for being "too friendly" when I'm happily married and then that some people had openly said they simply "didn't want me" after acting like they were friends. I feel like a failure before I even start my internship! I could use encouraging words to help me focus on the future in dealing with this and not on what others have said about me.

Thank you guys again!

Oh, and I didn't mention that at this same meeting the woman also told me that 3 or 4 people did not like what I wore at my interview for the internship and that my sweater, which had a nice cami under, was too low cut. I broke down on her AGAIN (and I don't cry easily!) because I told her I was a newlywed and that me and my husband were in a tight spot and I hadn't been able to purchase any professional clothes. The thing is I haven't been able to work because of trying to finish nursing school so we've had 1 income in our household and I'm sorry, I had to use what I thought were the best clothes I had because I couldn't sacrifice our power or food for a $50 or $60 shirt. I know the situation will change once I have an income coming in and I'll be happy to get more professional clothes but this was a very embarrassing and sensitive subject. Then she suggested in my situation that I should try going to the thrift store and that I'd find clothes there! I was humiliated!! But anyways, this was just ANOTHER negative that came up in that same conversation so I was devastated because myself (and my husband!) thought I looked nice. I felt like a complete failure because of all these negatives that came up at once! Totally blind-sided! But she said it was between me and 3 others so SOMETHING positive must have helped them choose me (or perhaps the fact my father works there, which doesn't make me feel better). I know she was telling me all this to help and I just want to find a way to move on from these negative things and focus on the future! I just keep fixating on this conversation because I feel like a failure before I even start my internship!

Thank you guys so much for the kind words.:heartbeat I spent the whole day crying about this and it even disturbed my sleep to the point to where I woke up and have been up since. My mind wants to fixate on these negative things that were said because I have such a big heart and can't believe how hurtful people can be but it'll drive you crazy thinking about it! I'm trying to find a way to put it behind me as I prepare to start back to work at that same hospital but with a new job. I feel paranoid I can't trust anyone now and that someone will always be out to hurt me regardless of how nice I am or what a good job I do. I don't want to start work that way. I love peds and I love nursing. It's just that all that makes me feel like a failure before I even start! Please pray for me and that I can focus my energy on my future as a new RN and not on what a couple fickle and self-centered people said and wrote about me in the past. Any advice on the best ways of going about doing that? Thanks,again.

I am new to this site so please bare with me as I get the hang of it. Okay, I'm graduating Dec 11 (should be taking boards in late December) and was fortunate to receive a nurse internship at a pediatric hospital I have previously been employed as a Summer Aide at before. I have never been told anything but praises and no complaints by coworkers on the previous units I worked as a summer aide. But I was called in today and the woman told me she wanted to "coach" me regarding some things to learn from. The biggest thing that hit me was when she said I had received a negative report on my record from when I worked there last summer 09 (not this summer) for being "too friendly/flirty". I was very hurt by this because I know exactly who tried to get me in trouble (and she even knew I was happily engaged!) because she was always mean to me. I am always nice and greeting coworkers (including housekeepers, maintenance,etc). That's simply who I am being the Christian that I am. There is this one employee (who did have a crush on me but I turned him down when he asked me out) that I would still occasionally talk to and one of the nurses and my supervisor saw us talking and turned it into something it wasn't even though they knew I was engaged (now happily married). But I was never told I had gotten written up so when this came up I was devastated and cried and the woman told me it was a disservice to me that I was never told. Plus I don't know what to do when I see that same coworker around because I obviously can't talk to him because of being afraid someone will take it the wrong way! THEN after all that was discussed, she told me when i had interviewed for a position on another unit recently that the nurses simply "did not want me" there because I "didn't chip in"---- again, everyone always told me how helpful I was and how they would love to have me back when I graduated!!! I ALWAYS did what I was told and asked to help others. But on the same token I also didn't want to annoy anyone by making them find me something to do when i had breaks. If I asked if they needed something and they said "no" (which was most of the time), then I would not bother them any further and wait for them to let me know if they needed me. This whole meeting just devastated me but she told me that she wanted to tell me these things as "coaching" and that she felt I would flourish on the units I'll work on as a nurse intern. I guess I should just be thankful to have an internship and to get to learn from these issues and also learn just how fickle and backstabbing coworkers can sometimes be, even if they say they're your friend. Has anyone else ever had a similar issue? I was just so hurt and cried for hours that i was written up for being "too friendly" when I'm happily married and then that some people had openly said they simply "didn't want me" after acting like they were friends. I just am so discouraged before I even start my internship and so worried that I'll do something wrong and not be 'good enough', which would devastate me because I love nursing and pediatrics. I could use encouraging words to help me focus on the future in dealing with this and not on what others have said about me.