Starting nurse internship but discouraged due to an old write up...

[spacy224]

I am new to this site so please bare with me as I get the hang of it. Okay, I'm graduating Dec 11 (should be taking boards in late December) and was fortunate to receive a nurse internship at a pediatric hospital I have previously been employed as a Summer Aide at before. I have never been told anything but praises and no complaints by coworkers on the previous units I worked as a summer aide. But I was called in today and the woman told me she wanted to "coach" me regarding some things to learn from. The biggest thing that hit me was when she said I had received a negative report on my record from when I worked there last summer 09 (not this summer) for being "too friendly/flirty".

I was very hurt by this because I know exactly who tried to get me in trouble (and she even knew I was happily engaged!) because she was always mean to me. I am always nice and greeting coworkers (including housekeepers, maintenance,etc). That's simply who I am being the Christian that I am. There is this one employee (who did have a crush on me but I turned him down when he asked me out) that I would still occasionally talk to and one of the nurses and my supervisor saw us talking and turned it into something it wasn't even though they knew I was engaged (now happily married). But I was never told I had gotten written up so when this came up I was devastated and cried and the woman told me it was a disservice to me that I was never told. Plus I don't know what to do when I see that same coworker around because I obviously can't talk to him because of being afraid someone will take it the wrong way!

THEN after all that was discussed, she told me when i had interviewed for a position on another unit recently that the nurses simply "did not want me" there because I "didn't chip in"---- again, everyone always told me how helpful I was and how they would love to have me back when I graduated!!! I ALWAYS did what I was told and asked to help others. But on the same token I also didn't want to annoy anyone by making them find me something to do when i had breaks. If I asked if they needed something and they said "no" (which was most of the time), then I would not bother them any further and wait for them to let me know if they needed me.

This whole meeting just devastated me but she told me that she wanted to tell me these things as "coaching" and that she felt I would flourish on the units I'll work on as a nurse intern. I guess I should just be thankful to have an internship and to get to learn from these issues and also learn just how fickle and backstabbing coworkers can sometimes be, even if they say they're your friend.

Has anyone else ever had a similar issue? I was just so hurt and cried for hours that i was written up for being "too friendly" when I'm happily married and then that some people had openly said they simply "didn't want me" after acting like they were friends. I just am so discouraged before I even start my internship and so worried that I'll do something wrong and not be 'good enough', which would devastate me because I love nursing and pediatrics. I could use encouraging words to help me focus on the future in dealing with this and not on what others have said about me.

[Katie5]

I guess I should just be thankful to have an internship and to get to learn from these issues and also learn just how fickle and backstabbing coworkers can sometimes be, even if they say they're your friend.

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You learned just in time. But please don't be jaded by it, at the same time, no Pollyana here:).

You need to develop a backbone covered with fluff, so while it appears you're n easy pick, you also know when to let things roll off of your back.Congrats on your internship and marriage:)

I also think it is mean- how do you get written up and not be aware of it.Don't you have to sign off or something/

[spacy224]

Well, actually she didn't say it was an actual "write up" but a negative report on my record..... so is that different? Is that better than a write up? I thought you had to sign if you had a write up too but I never did and even asked my husband who knows he wouldve remembered me telling him that.

Thanks so much. These encouraging words are really helping. Please continue! :redbeathe

[Otessa, BSN, RN]

To the OP-don't you have a right to look at those 'negative' reports?? Then you wouldn't be getting second hand information.

[GooeyRN, ADN, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

If you heard about the sweater, don't wear it again for work purposes. It probably was inappropriate. We all goof. Let it go and move on. Don't feel bad going to thrift stores. I have done it and still do it sometimes. There is always Wal-Mart, K-mart, and Target for clothes, too. If you pick something plain, no one will know where it came from as long as it is still newish when you wear it/not yet faded. There is no shame in that. A new plain white button down shirt or a plain sweater that fits well always looks nice. You can usually get those for under $20.

I don't see a problem with being friendly at work. But you know what? Some people don't like friendly people who aren't grumpy and burned out like they are. So they will sabatage you. DO NOT FLIRT or engage in any activity that could be taken as flirting. BAD MOVE at work. Smile, but not too much, and mainly do not touch others. Keep topics to work related stuff until people open up to you more. Then you will be safe to be yourself more.

You need a thicker skin if you will survive nursing. No matter where you work, there will always be SOMEONE who doesn't like you. It can be they don't like your personality, they don't like the way you walk, the way you breathe, the way you look, you aren't helpful enough, you are too helpful, you aren't looking to learn enough, you are looking to take on too much too soon, etc. There will be people who do not like you. Don't take it personally. You don't go to work to make friends. Most people will be fine to work with, even pleasant. There will be a few you actually become friends with. Then there are the others. It is like that most places, if not everywhere. Some take joy in chewing up and spitting out then stomping on new people, especially younger attractive people, just b/c they can. It is just reality. You gotta let it slide off of you.

I probably shouldn't be so blunt, but I am being blunt b/c you sound like a nice person who has a thin skin. I want to help and let you see things for what they are.

Congrats on your wedding and your internship! You can survive nursing, you just need a little thicker skin.