Should I start over...yet again?

Nurses General Nursing

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I used to be a bartender and decided that the stress of being a woman in her late 30's competing with barly 20 yr. old's who wore less clothing was too much to bear (no pun intended). Now? I'm seriously considering going back! I got my LPN lic. about 5 years ago and the nursing jobs I've had have been thankless, friendless, and downright harmful to my pyschological well-being. I am punished when I've done nothing wrong and given work assignments that are way too much for one nurse to handle. The people who come after my shift to relieve me are condescending and think they are much more important than me in every way. I have become clinically depressed and it's already begun to affect my social life and marriage. I really really regret going into the Nursing profession. It doens't seem to matter how far up the food chain you get in it, it's damned if you do and damned if you don't! Just yesterday I had a co-worker who I thought was a friend tell me that my med cart was a mess and he personally blamed me for it being that way! I'm only one nurse out of three that works it, we all stock our own meds for ou shifts (respectively), I couldn't believe he not only held me responsible for the cart, but ruined my day and trashed my friendship over it?!! Who cares that I'd just lost a resident the night before and that I just worked the last 8 hours and had been through hell! I cannot get over the lack of sensitivity and kinsmanship nurses have for one another. Dog eat dog is putting it mildly! I have read other posts, I know I am not alone...but I worked so hard for this lic. I've already looked into another Nursing jobs at other facilities, but after reading other posts from nurses out there? ...Sadly, I suspect it will just be more of the same. Is starting over again in a bad economy really an option for me? Any thoughts? My Husband and I have a mortgage that requires 2 incomes. In this economy, selling isn't even an option. Any thoughts? ...And please don't respond that I'm a bad Nurse, I assure you, I'm one of the few out there who still care. But I can see how the bitterness of all this can build and ruin an otherwise good person.

Have you considered going back to school for your RN? Maybe it would open doors for your nursing career. Sometimes you have to use the bad things that happen to motivate yourself. Best of luck to you, and no matter what, keep your chin up!

Specializes in peds, psych.

I am so sorry for what you are feeling right now, I can understand as I am constantly complaining about how rotten nurses are to one another, so here are some options, do you live in a state where you can obtain a medicaid billing number and take patients privately? Is there a big demand for homecare nurses where you love, as that field is wonderful for the autonomous nurse very little personalities and politics to deal with and your patients and agency is generally greatful to have you! Also are there small office jobs you could consider? Office nursing also provides a smaller setting, are there group homes for developmentally disabled folks? Dont you dare give up your hard work for a bunch of rotten nurses ok?! You have just as much right to work in your profession and earn a living as the others. As far as your depression take care of yourself as you are no good to anyone else if your emotionally and physically sick, another option to consider is a staffing agency where you show up to an appointed job site make boat loads more money than the facility staff and leave after your pts are cared for:) leaving out all the problems of crappy coworkers and being forced to develop somewhat functional professional relationships with them.Keep your head up your a nurse damn it dont doubt yourself or beat yourself up over the jerks with such poor sense of self that they must prey on you to elevate their esteem

Specializes in Critical Care/Coronary Care Unit,.

I'm sorry to hear that nursing has been unkind to you. It's been unkind to many. I'd say go to school for your RN (or try a less stressful nursing job like a MD office) or a different profession if you're able to do so. However, if your mortgage requires two incomes..ask yourself these questions seriously. Do you hate your job more than you like your house? Are the catty people at your job worth losing your peace of mind or your home? Unfortunately, you can't control how others act. However, you can control how you respond. Someone else can only ruin your day if you let them...or you can brush it off and move on with your life...realizing whatever they're groaning about isn't important enough for you to lose your home or your peace of mind. Please know that you are just too important for that! I'm sorry I can't really offer any real advice except to keep your head up and do the best that you can. Good luck to you with whatever decision you make.

Consider trying home health (8 hour shifts with one patient) Call different agencies and ask if they have this type of job available. The traditional Home Health visiting 7 or 8 patients a day is an option too, but gas prices are high. The nice thing about it, is more control of your environment. You get to listen to music, drive around, talk on your cell phone inbetween patient's while driving to the next house...there's a lot of frustration so far as price of gas and having to go to the office to pick up supplies, share a PT/INR machine, stuff like that.

You pretty much work alone and call the office if you need something. There's no cattiness, cause there's only one employee-you! My patient's in home health, they are so appreciative, I've never felt more appreciated and needed as a nurse, same goes for hospice nursing. I also liked medical rehabilitation, and geriatric psych, they just seem to attract really nice people.

I truly hope you will not give up on Nursing because we need people like you in the business. Here's a thought, part time home health, hospice and part time bartender. Tips are a benefit with bartending Nursing does not have!

You're in my thoughts n prayers.

Specializes in Corrections, Addictions, Hemodialysis.

i am so sorry that you have had such a difficult and dis-heartening experience as a nurse with five years experience. my heart goes out to you. i apologize for all of those nurses that could have and should have helped you and seen that you were struggling and given support, even in the smallest way, a smile that is sincere, pat on the shoulder, a comment about your hard-word; something we all need to do for our colleagues and work mates. it sounds that you have had some wrok situations that were toxic to begin with and co-workers that were not at all team players or professionals. i must tell you it does not have to be this way. do not give up. keep looking and look to alternate job sites for nurses. it sounds as if you have done mostly long term care. that is one of the most difficult areas of all to work in my opinion. i have had nurse colleagues that have worked in long term care for years and love it but they have found facilities where everyone is there for everyone else. the work in ltc is inherently difficult. the numbers of patients assigned to one nurse and one cna is overwhelming and the patients are so in need of nursing care that is not rushed or restricted by large assignments or short staffing. unfortunately that is often the way that specialized area. ltc is supposed to be the most tightly regulated of all industries and i personally think tha often the employers or owner-operators are so focused on the regulations that they loose sight of the needs of the nurses having to follow them so closely. if at all possible look to enrolling in an lpn to rn program and yes the economy is not conducive to taking on more expenses but look tuition reimbursement and the community college programs that have more reasonable tuition. there are scholarships and grants out there too; it takes some time to research and locate them but they are there. going back to school would renew your interest and enthusiasm in nursing as a profession and with an rn license there are so many more. venues for you to pursue. in the meantime, look to areas that are not the usual nursing job settings; correctional nursing (the large companies that provide contract services for correctional employee lpns and give them a more autonomous role in most states. look to blood banks and free standing dialysis units that sometimes employ lpns or train lpn as dialysis techs; medical offices that provide special services. perhaps look to working as a phlebotomist as something to do while gong to school and medical records often need nurses to review charts and communicate with various providers. look on-line for companies that provide immunization clinics in alternate sites like pharmacies and schools and colleges. if you husband can provide your health insurance through his work look for something part-time or per-diem.this way you are not enslaved to a full-time job that you don't like and and work more than one job per-diem. do not give the training and experience you have too little credit. those things can be built on and expanded. as a young rn, it was often the lpn's that guided me and showed me the art of true bedside nursing. a friend of mine who has been an lvn for many years got a job teaching medical assistants at a private vocational college. don't give up. even though nurses are not highly paid workers, there are few jobs that with the same level of education that provide the salary and rate per hour that nursing does. yo are still a young person and have many years left for you to work if you want to - it is never to late to get more education and use that education and your experience and current training to work for you and work at a job you will like and look forward to going to. there are many, many nurses that are really discouraged with being a nurse; and rightly so but don't give into the situations that we can't change. i have been a registered nurse for 38 years and if i had to do it all over again; wuld i? ina heart beat. i have very negative feelings abut what has happened in the nursing world today; so many changes have had such a negative impact on every nur practicing today. in my humble beginnings health care was a service oriented business; not a business organization that cares more about profits than patients, but i am so glad to have chosen nursing as my life-long career. i still feel very proud to have the privilege , honor and distinction of writing the letters "r.n." after my name. best of luck to you and god bless you nurse. thomas posten rn, bsn, sparks, nevada

Specializes in PCCN.

well, did you make good money bartending despite the younger B/T attire? If I had that to fall back on, I most certainly would- and take the nursing as a lesson learned- it wasnt a bad thing to have tried, but at least you wont lose a bartending license over some trivial bs, or unrealistic patient load. Although I suppose before throwing the towel in, why not try a DR office just for a change?then if that doesnt work out , you know that bartending woukd be the right decision for you. best wishes

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
i used to be a bartender and decided that the stress of being a woman in her late 30's competing with barly 20 yr. old's who wore less clothing was too much to bear (no pun intended). now? i'm seriously considering going back! i got my lpn lic. about 5 years ago and the nursing jobs i've had have been thankless, friendless, and downright harmful to my pyschological well-being. i am punished when i've done nothing wrong and given work assignments that are way too much for one nurse to handle. the people who come after my shift to relieve me are condescending and think they are much more important than me in every way. i have become clinically depressed and it's already begun to affect my social life and marriage. i really really regret going into the nursing profession. it doens't seem to matter how far up the food chain you get in it, it's damned if you do and damned if you don't! just yesterday i had a co-worker who i thought was a friend tell me that my med cart was a mess and he personally blamed me for it being that way! i'm only one nurse out of three that works it, we all stock our own meds for ou shifts (respectively), i couldn't believe he not only held me responsible for the cart, but ruined my day and trashed my friendship over it?!! who cares that i'd just lost a resident the night before and that i just worked the last 8 hours and had been through hell! i cannot get over the lack of sensitivity and kinsmanship nurses have for one another. dog eat dog is putting it mildly! i have read other posts, i know i am not alone...but i worked so hard for this lic. i've already looked into another nursing jobs at other facilities, but after reading other posts from nurses out there? ...sadly, i suspect it will just be more of the same. is starting over again in a bad economy really an option for me? any thoughts? my husband and i have a mortgage that requires 2 incomes. in this economy, selling isn't even an option. any thoughts? ...and please don't respond that i'm a bad nurse, i assure you, i'm one of the few out there who still care. but i can see how the bitterness of all this can build and ruin an otherwise good person.

you used to be a bartender, but you no longer wanted to "compete" with younger women wearing fewer clothes? compete for what?

was your med cart a mess? and why would him telling you it was a mess "trash your friendship?" clean it up and get over it. a messy med cart is dangerous, and you're just as responsible for it as those other two nurses.

your post is so overwhelmingly negative that i cannot help but wonder if there's an element of depression in there or if your expectations were completely unrealistic. i've encountered a few nasty, condescending nurses over the years, but the majority of them have been team workers whom i'm glad to have at my back. i cannot believe that your experience has been so horrible. i'm wondering if you're not viewing things through a black filter. please take yourself to your primary care provider and find out about depression and ways to treat it.

good luck -- i really hope you figure things out.

Specializes in PICU, ICU, Hospice, Mgmt, DON.

I am sorry to hear you are so very sad and depressed right now. I do agree that maybe you need to see if you are clinically depressed and at least check in with your doctor.

But there were also times that I got into a rut and didn't like where I was either...and I down right hated a few of them. LTC can be brutal. One of the options that someone mentioned that I found to be really rewarding and I loved was Hospice. I worked at in Inpatient facility for about a year and it was one of the positions I truely loved. THe patients were so appreciative and the other nurses were team players. I did not do home hospice but there was a large division for that. I really recommend that. (the one I worked for did have LPNs on staff)

Also, if at all possible, you may want to bridge to your Rn. It would open more possiblities for you.

Hang in there.

One other option. How about doing MDS or case management for LTC? I think you can do that as an LPN. That gets you away from the bedside for awhile and you have more autonomy. Just a thought.

Unless the OP edited her post, she already acknowledged being clinically depressed. Also the med cart mess was after a shift in which she lost a patient.....sounds like the oncoming could have had a sl bit more patience.

Specializes in PICU, ICU, Hospice, Mgmt, DON.
Unless the OP edited her post, she already acknowledged being clinically depressed. Also the med cart mess was after a shift in which she lost a patient.....sounds like the oncoming could have had a sl bit more patience.

You're right, read too fast. I'm sorry.

Perhaps you need some medication.

and again perhaps a change of venue.

Specializes in I like everything except ER.

Nursing is a brutal job. There is no way around it. If you are a very sensitive person and it is getting to you, then I think you should find another line of work. It is not for everyone all the time. I've almost always worked part time for the last 30 years because I am very sensitive. It is the only way I could have survived. I have had an amazing career, but always lived on less money.Now I am working as a webmaster and reporter and also a jeweler. I think I was good for nursing, but it wasn't always good for me. If I had it to do over I would not have become a nurse.It's painful for me to admit it, but it's true.

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