Should family members insist on being present for procedures?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

I don't post often on this site, but when I do I always receive thoughtful and helpful answers.

My mother had cataract surgery recently; the procedure went very well. Mom is very independent and told me that she would make her own arrangements to get to the hospital; I picked her up and took her home afterwards.

Here's the question. Just about everybody I know was shocked that I didn't bring Mom to the hospital, remain in the waiting room throughout the procedure, and let all of the staff know I was there. The consensus was that, unless a family member is at the hospital constantly, the patient will not receive the best possible care.

This just doesn't sound right. Do your patients feel the same way? Or, to rephrase the question, if you had an A & O family member who asked you not to wait during her procedure, would you insist on doing so?

Thanks for your help.

MG

Up Vote Up Vote ×

With my grandmother I let her go in and do things on her own if it is something she is capable of doing safely. It makes her feel more independent.

For doctor's appts I do go in with her. I do this because she is forgetful. So to preserve her feelings of independence I just tell her that I want to hear what the doctor says because I find it interesting or I say that I've got nothing to do and I would be terribly bored sitting in the waiting room all by myself. I do not think she gets better care because I am there. I think she gets better care at home because I remember what the doctor said at the appt and remind her later. I would hope that the staff would treat her no differently if she went in by herself. She is after all, an adult. Just my humble opinion........

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in LTC/SNF, Psychiatric, Pharmaceutical.
I don't post often on this site, but when I do I always receive thoughtful and helpful answers.

My mother had cataract surgery recently; the procedure went very well. Mom is very independent and told me that she would make her own arrangements to get to the hospital; I picked her up and took her home afterwards.

Here's the question. Just about everybody I know was shocked that I didn't bring Mom to the hospital, remain in the waiting room throughout the procedure, and let all of the staff know I was there. The consensus was that, unless a family member is at the hospital constantly, the patient will not receive the best possible care.

This just doesn't sound right. Do your patients feel the same way? Or, to rephrase the question, if you had an A & O family member who asked you not to wait during her procedure, would you insist on doing so?

Thanks for your help.

MG

It's easy to judge when you're on the outside of the situation. But your mother apparently doesn't need a babysitter, and is apparently quite capable of handling the situation on her own.

Family members can be great adjuncts to care, to be sure, but I've also seen plenty of them who deteriorated the quality of care their loved ones were receiving by being overbearing and declaring they knew what was best for them, even over the opinion of physicians and nurses.

Neither my mother nor my father would ask that I not wait during a procedure, but they are capable of managing their own medical affairs, although my dad does ask my advice from time to time. If for some reason they didn't want me hanging around the hospital - and this would be probably more out of concern for me than for them - I would by all means honor their request.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

I've read that advice in a lot of magazines -- and I know a lot of people who feel that way. The opinion seems to be that, without a concerned individual "on site" and double-checking everything, potentially dangerous errors will be made.

In a good facility, I wouldn't feel that way. However, I know that my friends and family members have prevented lots of errors (e.g. med or IV errors) by being there and asking questions. It's sad, but true.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I agree that many people are frightened by the stories they read in the popular press and react by being over involved whether it's helpful or not. However, I don't think there is one right answer to the question. Every person and family have different values and different perspectives. What is right for one family is not for another. This is not a black and white situation where one approach is right and another is wrong.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Advanced Practice, surgery.

When I was a patient recently I didn't want my family to hang around. Can't be doing with fuss and faff. Leave me alone to get on with it, fuss and you'll make me anxious

The dropped me off, visited me the day of surgery and picked me up in time to go home.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I think this often has to be case-by-case. If they are increasing any chance of danger or error, they need to be out of the way. But I strongly believe if they want to be there, they should be. I know I would want to be. Everyone is different. Others would want nothing to do with it. It should be a choice. Ideal? No. But this is THEIR loved one, after all.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in tele, oncology.

I've not been in this situation, so I'm not sure how to answer....but I do know nurses at my facility who I wouldn't trust to find their way out of a paper bag, and you can bet I wouldn't let them care for my loved one. It seems reasonable to have someone there to be an advocate as long as they are not impeding care by being a total buttpain. Unfortunately, there is a problem with nurses who are ill prepared to do their job and are more than a little slow in picking up on what they're supposed to be doing.

I actually enjoy the family members who are helpful and inquisitive, and are just there to help out Aunt Suzie and learn what they can to make it easier when she goes home. The ones who get in my way, refuse to let me treat the patient b/c "I'm a lawyer and I'll sue you if you don't do it how I tell you to", those I wouldn't mind throwing out the nearest window since they actually make it more difficult to provide adequate care to the patient.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

I agree with the others who said it should be decided on an individual basis.

I am more left wondering about the people in your life , who after the fact made you question yourself.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in ICU/Critical Care.

For some procedures, no the family should not be in the room especially if it is a dressing change on a wound or central line placement or other sterile procedure. I don't mind family being in the room but it's irritating when they start nitpicking at some of things I am doing or they start nitpicking about things in the room that aren't to their liking.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I do wait when a surgery is going on and feel more comfortable doing so. I stay in pre-op too and then go back to recovery when I am allowed to do so. Many patients are nervous and like the company. If mt family member or friend said they'd rather go alone I would just wait in waiting room to be there should they need me. I would respect their request.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
For some procedures, no the family should not be in the room especially if it is a dressing change on a wound or central line placement or other sterile procedure.

I agree. I am also very particular about baths and anything intimate. Unless patient requests family member to stay during anything that involves private parts they are all asked to leave and I don't start anything until they do. So many patients are grateful for that.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment