RNs- Mostly first born? Alcoholic fathers? - page 3

KristyBRN's thread on this topic is very interesting. She has heard that many RNs are first borns of alcoholic fathers. I thought we could use a quantitative poll on the subject.- *Please add any... Read More

  1. by   GrumpyRN63
    Youngest child, alcoholic father, now crazy and estranged- pickled his brain I guess, Mother not alcoholic, growing up controlling, emotionally cold/distant- pretty good relationship now
  2. by   AmericanRN
    Quote from Marlo1120
    wow this thread caught my eye, and I'm fascinated. I am not yet an RN, won't graduate until next year so I didn't answer the poll, But I am the first born and a daughter of an alcoholic father. What is it I wonder that attracts people like me to nursing?
    Great research topic!

    This is fascinating. I never thought about it, I am the first born for my mother and father (father is dead now) I am the child of recovering alcoholics and addicts. My step father is also a recovering addict, my biological father died from complications of drug abuse when I was an infant.

    I start clinicals in April. I have wanted to be a nurse my whole life but jst delayed it thinking I couldn't do it. Maybe we want to take care of people but we want some structure behind it and not just be used to death like what we are used too. (hahahah) I also wonder if living around dramatic drunken people made many nurses and soon to be bookworms who will read everything. Or do we desire the technical end of learning because there is a structure in it and a results (might not be what we want but there is always a result in learning or doing a procedure) Living with addicts or alcoholics is predictably unpredictable. That in itself can be dull after a life of it.

    I don't know but it is a good research topic, wish I had thought about it when I was taking Advanced Argumentative Research.
  3. by   chuckc
    I am 3rd of three girls. Mother is a seemingly charming woman who has narcissistic/histrionic/sociopathic personality disorders. Father is cold/distant alcoholic. I have washed my hands of these two. Boy, do I have issues, LOL.
  4. by   nyapa
    I have listed myself as being first born child of an alcoholic father, even though he was my stepfather. I have never met my biological father, and not sure if I want to...thats another story. But I lived with this man for 8 years, and watched the physical and psychological terror he put my mother through. So I think I do come in that category, as I did not know until I was ten that he was not my father...I'm glad he isn't
  5. by   ga_peach_babi
    I'm don't fit the RN, but I'm currently in school for LPN. But I'm first born of an alcoholic father. He died when I was 14, (I'm 19 now.)
  6. by   grace90
    youngest of 5 kids, next one closest to me was 5+ yrs older, neither parent alcoholic but mom was/is mentally ill and turned a blind eye to abuse outside the family and at times facilitated it
  7. by   racing-mom4
    Quote from weetziebat
    Oh, yeah, that dark, dark horrible path. All alone with a madwoman, and as a child what can you do?

    In my teens, I took myself off to a psychiatrist, thinking everything must be my fault, like mom said, but confused, not feeling it really was.

    M.D. spoke with my mom, then told me "You don't need to come back to see me. You're not crazy, but your mother is and the best advice I can give you is to get as far away from her, as fast as you can, and never look back."
    We must have went to the same therapist---I swear I got the same advice...FYI I was looking for the First born father alcoholics and mother narcissistic.
    I am amazed at the poll so far, very very interesting topic. One I want to share.
  8. by   EmmaG
    I voted both non-alcoholic, but I guess I should have voted 'other'. They both had issues that I believe led to a measure of co-dependency in me.

    Excluding the 'other' category, 55.5% polled had alcoholic parents.

    A psychiatrist told me years ago that co-dependency is rampant in nursing. I don't know if that was simply his personal opinion and observation or if he actually had research to back it up. Given that he wasn't prone to flip comments, I kinda suspect the latter.
  9. by   slevin
    I agree. This would be a very good idea to make this a survey. Any ideas on how to make it a survey?
  10. by   jessiern
    1st born to a wonderful, strong woman married at the time to my biological "sperm donor" father, an alchoholic with many other drug problems (he was a 'ho-dog' too :P). They divorced when I was 8, and my step dad adopted me when I was 12, and life has been peaches and cream since.
  11. by   shiloblues
    I am the youngest of two for my mother but the only child for my father, neither of my parents have abused alcohol, they are still married.
  12. by   MaryAnn_RN
    Quote from Dempather
    I read a book on a term called codependence, which is something prevalant in populations whose parents or loved ones are physically or psychologically addicted to alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc (I'm assuming this is what the study is based on). The book stated that over time, the person without the addiction becomes dependent on the one who does. They often feel the need to take care of them, make their decisions, try to make "right" the things that they think are not. After a while, the focus is taken off themselves and onto something external...often, the other person. One of the classic characterics a codependent may have is the excessive need to care for others... which I suppose is why so many choose the healthcare field. Obviously, not every nurse is a codependent, nor is every codependent a nurse. But I can see how clear the connection is between the two. Interesting poll.
    That makes so much sense. I am an RN, the eldest of 4 children, both parents alcoholics, both drank themselves to death. Lots of family issues along the way that were never resolved. Now none of us speak to each other .
  13. by   det01
    I answered other. I am a 1st born of a schitzophrenic/bipolar father and a severely depressed mother. My mother was and is loving..but my dad and depression took up a lot of her time.