Relationships with collegues

cindyln · Jan 7, 2003

I feel for you. I also work with a nurse who thinks she is so much superior to me.I am the only one that she has a problem with and I get along great with everyone else but this nurse just tries to be my boss and she isn't.She accuses me of not being a teamplayer because I refused to drop what I was doing with a patient,drawing blood and come start an IV on her patient. This past weekend I about blew a gasket. I need to talk to the HN about her and soon before matters get worse. And what makes it worse is the age difference.She is young enough to be my daughter.

sjoe · Jan 7, 2003

Remember the motto:

l.rae · Jan 7, 2003

just curious..ever think about confronting the "abusers"?..l think that is what l would do before l complain to mngmt.......l mean really..what have you got to lose?....l did this to a nurse a while back...pulled her aside and asked what if any reservations did she have about my nursing skills.....always lock eyeballs during this exercise, don't flinch!....in my situation l was told l was such a wonderful nurse...so l told ms know it all that when she...(l named the offense) it led me to believe otherwise and l was just unsure if this was something we needed to resolve with the nurse manager, and then l thanked her.....end of abuse.....good luck........LR

caliotter3 · Jan 15, 2003

I agree with l.rae. Confront this person(s). And also, make sure you keep a diary. You never know what is being done or said behind your back and when it will come back to haunt you. Like at evaluation time. Don't get blindslided by a backstabber. Keep a "book" on her. After all, in the workplace, it is a dog eat dog world. But remember, you must always be professional. That is one of the best ways to protect yourself.

dspring, RN · Jan 15, 2003

Wy is it nurses are so hard on each other? With all the crap we put up woth you would think we would all stick together.

ohbet · Jan 16, 2003

I think talking directly to the "abusers" is the proper thing to do,I guess Im just a little passive aggressive myself.Forgive me Lord.

magRN · Jan 16, 2003

Man I've ben through this and it caused me to change a w/e rotation from one I'd worked for 24 years!

I first tried confronting the people...that didn't work as many seemed very two-faced. It took much soul searching, but I'm much happier now. Even though I still work in the same area, I do not have to deal with the people who caused me personal grief so much.

Sometimes a change is good when you've attempted to confront and resolve whatever issues are out there. I think there are a lot of unhappy people in our field, so don't always blame yourself...It just maybe the other person's attitude...don't let it reflect on your own positive outlook. Do what you need to do!

jschut, BSN, RN · Jan 16, 2003

Man~ I've just recently run into this problem too. A certain nurse I work with seems to "have it out" for me. I don't know why, or what I 've done, but every day I go in, it's something different....

My husband suggested the diary thing too...I've started to. Cause like sjoe says, "You will get exactly as much crap as we will take." And I'm NOT taking it!

colleen10 · Jan 16, 2003

I remember whilst in college I had a "horse breaking" class. Basically, learning techniques on how to train young horses- yearlings and two year olds. There was a saying and system that we used with the horses. It was "Please, Do It, and Thank You". The "Please" is asking the horse to do something. If it does it, then you skip right over to "Thank You".

But, if you kindly ask the horse to "Please" do something, and he doesn't do it, you apply more pressure to the horse and tell it "Do It" and once it does whatever it is supposed to, you release the pressure and say "Thank You."

Before you all start thinking I'm smoking the wacky weed I will say the reason I am saying this is because I try to use this rationale in everyday life.

I have slowly but surely discovered that there are a lot of rude and abusive people out there. And although I can't change their personalities, I can change the actions they make towards me. Like L.Rae says, go up to the person and say- you did this, said this - it made me think this or feel this. "Please" tell me what you meant by it. If they start to scramble apply pressure and the "Do It". Force the issue a little. Once they give you a truthful answer and lay it on the line, give them a "Thank You", glad we cleared things up.

Most people can dish it out but can't take it, so speak up for yourself. You'll surprise the heck out of them. I have also found that when a few people in a workplace treat others badly, rudely and/or abusively it becomes the predominant mentality and soon everyone is in a rotten mood and treating each other badly. Maybe if you can get a few of them to change, things will get a little easier all around.

I probably wouldn't go to a supervisor until I had at least tried to work things out with the co-workers, one on one.

Love-A-Nurse · Jan 16, 2003

sometimes, taking a stand with the person directly involved will surfice. some are like those bullies in school, once you defend yourself, they step down. i would be tactful, but i would first try to talk with the specific person and would always watch my back.

renerian, BSN, RN · Jan 16, 2003

I am to old to take much crap. Speak up. If it does not get better. Look elsewhere to join a different team who will appreciate you. I However, have to take loads of crap at home LOL. I am stuck with that team LOL.

I am 46 and tired of putting up with peoples petty games and treatment. No time to fart around.

Go for it and let us know how it turned out.

renerian