oh shyt - page 4

i had the MOST disgusting patient last night. he has an unusual bowel regimine..... stay home with no bowel movement for weeks, get admitted to the hospital then get digitally disimpacted by... Read More

  1. by   JeannieM
    Now this poor patient must be a sad and troubled person :sniff . Since thisnurse is taken, we need to find him someone appropriate to share his life and relieve his "distress". Anybody got any candidates?
  2. by   fedupnurse
    l.rae, Those triage categories are right on the money! Hysterical!!
  3. by   SmBaxter
    Thisnurse! You are a saint ( Saint Thisnurse!) I would have handed him the washclothes and towels and said " Have fun cleaning it up! I don't have time for this shyt!" AND, I would have called the admitting with EVERY bowel movement and antic!
  4. by   Teshiee
    What a nutbag! Man I would love to stick a large roll of toilet paper up his crzy azz.
  5. by   Nurse Ratched
    (stumbled across this post and HOWLED!)

    Thisnurse - have you seen this guy back?

    I had an elderly pt once who was on with a perf bowel because

    (drum roll, please)

    He used a washing maching as an enema - would hook the hose up and away he went. Apparently did this regularly and saw nothing unusual about it...

    Send him psych's way - you all on the med floors are WAY too busy to deal with this stuff (not that we aren't, too, but freaks are our stock and trade!)
  6. by   adrienurse
    Oh Oh, here we go again with the poop stories.
  7. by   Nurse Ratched
    LOL .

    Adrie - it's like when a bunch of men get together - they eventually get around to talking about sex (or sports.)

    With nurses, it's .......

    Sorry - it's been kinda tense here, and there's nothing like a good feces tale to lighten the mood .
  8. by   hoolahan
    Ratched, you mean you shouldn't use the washing machine as an enema?? (LOL, JOKE!!!!!)

    l.rae, those triage categories slay me!! You rock!!

    Can you get this guy an Rx for lactulose and send him home?? LOL!!
  9. by   l.rae
    hoolahan....nothing stranger than the truth...heh?
  10. by   patsue53
    ayiyiyiyiyiyi!!!!! Give this guy an NG hooked up to a gallon of Colyte and glue his butt to the commode. What a WHACKO!
    Thanks for the laugh Thisnurse....you get the nurse of the week award in my book!
  11. by   tigger2sassy
    this nurse---- this is the best CRAP story i have ever heard--gotta love ya girl-- have heard the phrase that "laughter is the best medicine"-- you definitely get my nomination and vote -- thanks so much-- have needed to LMAO for a long time now and by george--i think you dunnit!!!! any more??? you got a captive audience now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
  12. by   formernurse
    In all my years, I have never heard a story like this one.

    If I had been you, I would have given him a mop, bucket and a very large can of ROOM DEODORIZER, and would have closed the door----telling him not to open it until the room was spotless and odorless. LOL< LOL My hats off to you.
  13. by   fedupnurse
    Sounds like he needs a colostomy and a peg tube! That'd fix his wagon!!!!
    I'd take a bad DT'er over this kind of patient any day of the week!