oh shyt - page 2

i had the MOST disgusting patient last night. he has an unusual bowel regimine..... stay home with no bowel movement for weeks, get admitted to the hospital then get digitally disimpacted by... Read More

  1. by   Hardknox
    Holy CRAP!!! That is the worst poop story I've ever heard. Thank God for your sense of humor!
  2. by   petiteflower
    OMG!!! I agree with all on this one. You poor thing. Enjoy your days off!
  3. by   PhantomRN
    thisnurse............I just absolutely love you........Whenever I see that you have started a thread I know I am guarenteed a big laugh. Next time I will stop eating the dove bar before reading.

    Ageless...read more of thisnurses stuff if you want to Laugh out loud.
  4. by   caroladybelle
    Holy cow,

    I don't even want to know what his parents did to him during toilet training. Freud would have a field day with that one.
  5. by   Rustyhammer
    I've heard (and had) some good code brown stories and this one is right up there.
    Glad you have some days off. Drink one for us.
  6. by   thisnurse
    lol...thanks you guys

    i am ...thanks to your encouragement....working on a book.
  7. by   night owl
    And I thought I had seen it all working at the VA! How about the movie??? It would make Mel Brooks look like an amateur!
    Seriously, I too would have given him the pale and mop and made him scrub...definately a true psycho in my book.
  8. by   sharann
    Did you tell your fiancee that he has some stiff competition? I hope this shatters any myths he may have about you giving romantic bed baths to exotic studs at work.
    He sounds like a real piece of ....oops, I gues that is obvious!
  9. by   LasVegasRN
    This guy gives a whole new meaning to the word *******.
  10. by   Fgr8Out
    "for extra excitement he alternated between making himself vomit and poop on the floor...of course he had to call me and let me know what he was doing. one of the nurses i was working with informed me that he was walking around his room with his gown open, azz sticking out with a nice big piece of poop hanging out while making himself vomit.
    (i wanted to ask him to marry me but then i remembered i am engaged) "

    thisnurse....omg... i'm alternating between disgust and LMAO at your last comment in that paragraph!!!

    I don't know that you could have avoided a confrontation with that patient. I probably would have called the nursing supervisor and had HER talk with him too...(not that it would do any good)... and document like mad on his completely inappropriate behavior!

    Drinks are on me if you're ever in Reno
  11. by   hoolahan

    Thisnurse, as usual, you have succeeded in cracking me UP!

    {{{{{{thisnurse}}}}}} you need a hug friend, b/c I think I would have killed him! There is NO REASON why you can't tell someone they are acting inappropriately. He most definitely is a head case, and so is the doc. Indeed if he can disimpact himself in the hospital, he can do so at home. If I were you guys, I would get a MSW consult stat, and make the physician give him written instructions on bowel regimen, drinking enough fluids, foods to eat to prevent Constip, and a Rx for Colace, lactulose, MOM, whatever, and inform the pt that if he is non-compliant w this regimen, he can find himself another doctor, and another hospital, b/c there is NO reason this should keep happening unless he needs a psych consult. I wouldn't even want to be this guys doctor let alone his nurse for the shift.

    No doubt they refer this idiot to homecare at d/c.
  12. by   nursedawn67
    Originally posted by ageless
    this is the first post, that while reading, I actually laughed out loud.

    Holy impacted imbecile, batman!
    Wouldn't that me Crapman?? LOL

    This is too funny (in a sad gross way)....what a disgusting sleezeball this guy is!!!

    Maybe he has OPTICALRECTIMITIS....shi*** outlook on life!!
  13. by   Fgr8Out
    [QUOTE]Originally posted by greer128

    Wouldn't that me Crapman?? LOL

    This is too funny (in a sad gross way)....what a disgusting sleezeball this guy is!!!

    Maybe he has OPTICALRECTIMITIS....shi*** outlook on life!!

    More likely the guy has a Rectal-Cranial Inversion ( aka Head up A** syndrome) which would make him a REAL sh**head. lol