Not cut out to be a nurse

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

I have been a nurse for less than a year on a stroke/ortho floor. I love my patients and sometimes I feel like I feel too much for them. I had one sweet little old lady tonight who was readmitted 3 weeks ago for respiratory failure. This poor lady had not even been discharged for one day and she desatted into the 70's and was back with us. She is giving up and wants to die. She is refusing her resp. treatments as well as most of her meds.

There is another gentleman who was admitted tonight with a TIA. He was started on a heparin drip and less than 2 hours later he started haveing increased weakness on one side with slurred speech and facial droop. The doc was called and this patient was not a candidate for TPA. There really was not much else that could be done for him until the heparin reached therapeutic levels. This man was not my patient and I had overheard his nurse saying how frightened he was because he realized his situation was getting worse. I went in too comfort him and let him know the Dr was looking at what could be done for him and that all of the staff was there looking out for him. I held his hand and I seen his fear as he struggled to express himself with slurred speech. After I left him I went into the break room and cried because I knew this man was scared and there was little that could be done as his stroke symptoms were worsening. I cried for my sweet little lady who knew she was failing and just wanted to die.

I am so tired from feeling so badly for my patients that I just don't know if I can handle being a nurse. I am afraid I am too sensitive to be a nurse and that I will burnout quickly.

Thanks for letting me vent. None of my close friends or family are nurses and they would never understand how I feel. I am glad I can come to this forum for understanding and support.

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This may not be helpful to you but I really needed to read your post. I haven't been a nurse long, only two years but I am at a breaking point. Reading your post reminds me what nursing is all about. Please don't say you are not cut out for the job because you are. You are exactly the kind of nurse I would want to take care of my family member. I feel like I have lost a lot of sympathy and that is a shame. I am tired of taking care of the clock watchers who want drugs and don't need them, the demanding family members, and rude patients. The fact that you don't feel that way is commendable. Hang in there, take a little break if you can. I have a vacation coming up and I am looking forward to it. Take care.

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I'm in a similar spot, but I've learned that every once in a while something happens that makes us question our abilities, ourselves, our career choice... but on the other hand, every once in a while things happen that make us say "THIS is why I'm a nurse." That patient you touch who looks at you teary eyed and says "thank you for being so kind to me"... the family you supported as their loved one dies... etc. We all have crappy nights that make us wonder why, when we could've chosen any career path, we chose this one (I had one last night and I left crying as well). It might be time to take a little break and regroup. I prayed a lot, but to each his own.

I've been a nurse for 3 years and still have moments. Hang in there. When I worked oncology I went home crying at least once a month. And I LOVED that job.

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Specializes in Med/surg. ED. Palliative. Geront.

Agree. Hang in there, kiddo.

It'll get better as time goes on and you get more experience. Sure, you'll still have those days when something really gets to you, but that's normal.

It's when you have pts like the ones you talk about and don't give a crap -THAT'S when to stop being a nurse.

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Specializes in NICU Transport/NICU.

A nurse that actually cares about his/her patients will be a far better nurse than one who is stone cold and shows no emotion. You're showing compassion and concern and it is genuine. That is the type of nurse I would want caring for me.

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Specializes in Critical Care.

I agree with the above posters - there's no such thing as being too sensitive and sympathy is part of life. You're human and these feelings are natural and normal and I believe the profession needs more like you. Take solace in knowing that you're doing something good and being there for these people, even if it's at the point if that's all you really can do, and that's really what a lot of people need in that situation - just someone who understands and cares.

Have you ever considered working a different department? Perhaps the change of scenery would do you good?

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I have to agree with the above posters, it's so refreshing to see someone out there with such heart! Please, don't take that away from yourself...I spent 4 years working on a Neuro floor, and while there were many days that were very trying on my emotion, there were also so many days that were emotional in just the opposite way. For instance, the day they brought in a mid 20's female who had stroked, she had a 3 year old child at home, and the only reason they could figure out she stroked was because she was a social smoker and on birth control, a very emotional case--she spent some time in intensive care and eventually came out to the floor, nobody ever thought she would speak again, and she could barely stand, let alone walk. Doing my morning rounds one morning, walking in to say hello and open her blinds, she uttered a very broken hello back! It brought tears to my eyes! Those are the moments that you have to hold onto...and try to find the good in everything, I know it sounds corny---but find the silver lining in all of your patients, even the ones that aren't doing well, it's there. Neuro is a VERY rewarding and fascinating place to work, especially as a new nurse, embrace it and good luck!

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Specializes in Operating Room.
I have been a nurse for less than a year on a stroke/ortho floor. I love my patients and sometimes I feel like I feel too much for them. I had one sweet little old lady tonight who was readmitted 3 weeks ago for respiratory failure. This poor lady had not even been discharged for one day and she desatted into the 70's and was back with us. She is giving up and wants to die. She is refusing her resp. treatments as well as most of her meds.

There is another gentleman who was admitted tonight with a TIA. He was started on a heparin drip and less than 2 hours later he started haveing increased weakness on one side with slurred speech and facial droop. The doc was called and this patient was not a candidate for TPA. There really was not much else that could be done for him until the heparin reached therapeutic levels. This man was not my patient and I had overheard his nurse saying how frightened he was because he realized his situation was getting worse. I went in too comfort him and let him know the Dr was looking at what could be done for him and that all of the staff was there looking out for him. I held his hand and I seen his fear as he struggled to express himself with slurred speech. After I left him I went into the break room and cried because I knew this man was scared and there was little that could be done as his stroke symptoms were worsening. I cried for my sweet little lady who knew she was failing and just wanted to die.

I am so tired from feeling so badly for my patients that I just don't know if I can handle being a nurse. I am afraid I am too sensitive to be a nurse and that I will burnout quickly.

Thanks for letting me vent. None of my close friends or family are nurses and they would never understand how I feel. I am glad I can come to this forum for understanding and support.

Not cut out to be a nurse??! Far from it actually...you actually give a damn about your patients, and not everyone does.:yeah: You sound like you are a fantastic nurse.

You will find the ability to still care but not let it affect you quite so strongly..that comes with time and experience.

Chin up-you're doing fine!:up:

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Specializes in NICU, missions.
I agree with the above posters - there's no such thing as being too sensitive and sympathy is part of life. You're human and these feelings are natural and normal and I believe the profession needs more like you. Take solace in knowing that you're doing something good and being there for these people, even if it's at the point if that's all you really can do, and that's really what a lot of people need in that situation - just someone who understands and cares.

Have you ever considered working a different department? Perhaps the change of scenery would do you good?

My thoughts exactly. FIrst thing that pops into my mind is neonatal nursing in a nursery. Generally a happy place to work, but can be trying if working in an area with high rates of drug use, domestic violence, etc.

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Specializes in OB/GYN, Peds, School Nurse, DD.

Awww, hunny, you just had a rough night. You sound like a very good nurse. All of us go through times like this when we seem to care too much. When it gets like that you have to take a step away, drink a coke, walk over to a different unit for a few minutes, and shrug your shoulders real hard. I've been a nurse 32+ years now and I remember how I used to absorb all the bad feelings my patients had. It was like I couldn't separate my self from their self. It took me some time, but I eventually learned to compartmentalize my feelings. Be sure you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and doing non-nursing activities on the outside. You have to keep your life balanced to protect you from burnout. And you have to remind yourself that you can't save everyone. Sometimes the only thing you can do is be with them and listen and hold their hands while they're dying. Death is part of life.

I think there are times when nurses *should* feel sad for their patients and even cry. I will never forget when I was a nursing student I had a man who had multiple myeloma. He was wracked with pain and it was worse at night when nobody was there. He would sometimes cry and he couldn't get comfortable. So one night he asked me if I would just rub some Ben-Gay on his back(you might not remember that old stinky stuff.) It didn't take long and it really was such a little thing, but it soothed him greatly. He was very lonely and scared and it seemed to really help him that I would spend a little time with him in the middle of the night. Then one morning about 2 hours after my shift was over he passed away. It was very sad and I cried for him. I like to think that maybe I helped him cross to the other side.

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Sistasoul,

Like others have said, you sound like a wonderful nurse and the kind I would want taking care of my loved ones. Take care of yourself and make time for vacations and silliness to put it all in perspective.

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Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

That is exactly why you should be a nurse YOU CARE!!!!. This is how I look at. The patient was lucky to have me. because I was here today someone got their pain med faster......someone did not have to get poked and poked..a nurse was happy to see me as he or she did not lose a precious hour trying to get an IV in..someone (usualy about 6-8) got their CT scan today b/c I was here. So ....see look at it a different way....and also make an Appt with your EPA they can help you to deal with all of this...illness and death is part of life and yes it is hard to see but focus in on what YOU can do to make it easier and better for someone else..and believe me.they are often the most simple little things..I bet you can list a ton of those things right now

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