Need professional oppinion of nurse managers

askater11 · Sep 9, 2003

How has she treated you and other's prior to this?? Do you think all these changes are stressing her? Maybe she's outlashing on you?

Did she specify Wednesday meetings regarding E-mail?

BBnurse34 · Sep 9, 2003

She is a new manager and is very young, late 20s. She has behaved as though she feels threatened by me in the past. Wed meeting is with only me and is set up to discuss the email. I am not sure how to react.

askater11 · Sep 9, 2003

Does she only treat you this way?

I only had trouble with one nurse manager. It was my first nurse manager ever--she was new to the position too. In fact, she started 2 weeks after I did.

She always has someone she attacked--that person happened to be me. I never could figure out why me. But looking back I was new, didn't stand strong, she looked at me as a weak person. She once told me at the desk--(in front of a patient) "I'm the worse nurse she's ever known" My heart dropped--I truly thought I was an excellent new--new but had great potential. I stuck with my position for another year--because I was so sure I wasn't a good nurse. I knew no other people could handle my "bad nursing"

After one year I left and got a new job. Wow my manager's praised me. And to this day all my manager's praise me. Looking back it was her that had the problem--not me.

#1 hold your head strong--listen to what she has to say.

#2 Talk calmly with your head up.

#3 Re-phrase what she has to say--perhaps say how you'd like to work with her.

How do you think she's threatened by you?

Obviously from what I've said--I have a past history of problems with a supervisor. What I did was get audio tapes from our local library--about dealing with people. About assertiveness. (since I knew that was my problem)

One thing I love about nursing is dealing with people. The toughest person I've ever dealt with was my first supervisor.

redshiloh · Sep 9, 2003

If you are allowed and have union reps, take one.

BBnurse34 · Sep 9, 2003

Unfortunately, the union did not get enough votes. We would have been the first unionized hospital in AZ.

Noney · Sep 9, 2003

Print a copy of the Email and take it with you. Take a pen and write notes during the meeting. It'll give something to focus on and let her know that you are taking her serious. It might also serve as a buffer to any abuse she was planning on throwing at you. You can PM me the Email if you want, I don't know how much help I'll be but I'll try.

Noney

suehp · Sep 9, 2003

Hi I am a nurse Manager and cant really see her problem with you - it could be that she is new to her post and fairly young and feels that she has to assert authority to hide "her" fears.

(I was 25 when I started as a Nurse Manager and must admit I was quite "fearful" in my new position but didnt let it go to my head and worked "alongside" staff and learnt from them and used my own learnt experiences to help me how to approach "managerial" problems/situations. I am 35 now and still in my post and still enjoy it.)

For your meeting wednesday - I would suggest get there early to calm your nerves firstly and take a union rep with you if you feel you need to - you have every right to.

Secondly have a copy of your e-mail you sent her so you add comments to it as she is going through it - no doubt you will forget some of the things she says to you from feeling anxious.

Thirdly, Try and look confident but not over confident - if she does feel threatened in any way by you she may retaliate further. That will result in a very unproductive meeting.

How she can be annoyed over an e-mail is beyong me - after all it is her work e-mail and not her home one??

You obviously are worried about your future and I cnat blame you.

Let us know how you get on,

renerian, BSN, RN · Sep 9, 2003

I have done management for over 10 years and emails are a very easy way to communicate and I love to communicate that way. I would be open to interpreting the email if you are still looking for that.

I think taking it with you, as previously posted is a good idea. What type of reorganizing are they doing? Having been laid off 6 times since I became a nurse 17 years ago I know it is a reality of the current work world. Let us know how the meetings go. So many people post here but never follow up.

I wish you good luck,

renerian

Tweety, BSN, RN · Sep 9, 2003

Just be willing to listen and apologize that you didn't realize the email wasn't her preferred method of communication, etc.

There may be another issue, such as she might be thinking your listening to gossip, or spreading gossip about people loosing their jobs, or whatever, and her bosses have told her to nip this in the bud. Management hates this kind of gossip. They'd rather wait and drop the bomb on their own.

Sounds like there is some sort of misunderstanding. Your attitude that it is a learning experience is a good one. Keep that in mind.

Above all don't get overly defensive or unprofessional.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

I agree with Renerian, I love to communicate with my manager and other managers in the hospital via email.

meownsmile, BSN, RN · Sep 9, 2003

Unfortunately the written word doesnt allow for inflection of voice and emotion. Could it be she read your email using the frame of mind she was in at the moment she opened it, without regard to how it was actually intended? She mearly could have tried to subdue your fears and then set an appointment for you to meet and discuss it further.

It could be she is getting some heat in her new position already and feels threatened herself. Appologies are due from both sides of the desk. You be the bigger person and offer those first for any misunderstanding in the body of the email and she may lighten up on the attack. However, she also owes you an appology for conducting herslef so unprofessionally. She may or may not offer it, but if she doesnt then it is her reputation as a manager and the damage it may do to her authority is hers to overcome. To throw scathing comments and reprimands at you over the telephone is out of line and totally unprofessional. It may be ok to reprimand a child like that but is not ok to speak to another adult like that period, i dont care what position you hold.

Word spreads quickly about managers like that because you probly arent the only one she has "attacked" because of her "mood". If she is an inexperienced manager, she may have to learn it the hard way.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 9, 2003

My husband is active in our union, and used to be our union rep. He's been to many disciplinary meetings with nurses. His advice is to go in with a good attitude (and it sounds as if you are) and attempt to learn something from the experience. (Even if it's only that your nurse manager isn't someone you can work with.) And be ready to apologize, apologize, APOLOGIZE if you did do something wrong. Even if you don't think it's as serious as they think it is, apologize.

And then go out and try to round up more votes for a union!