Men not helpful

  1. Hi guys,


    There are are male team leaders(only male) at work who do nothing except sitting and talking and joking with staff( but without helping them) as if they are at a cafe.


    Yesterday and today were heavy for me, and the team leader despite being free and roaming around as if he is on a picnic, did not help. If my patients are calling and I am busy, he just tells me that one patient called and I should see what he wanted.


    Men are strong and they have bigger lung capacity and they are more powerful than us women yet they refuse to use that physical power.


    They don't answer the calling bells from patients or take heavy patients to toilet.


    What is the best way to handle the issue?


    Should I email the charge nurse regarding the issue or tell them to move(they are senior in position to me btw)?
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  2. Visit Sarah2018 profile page

    About Sarah2018

    Joined: Sep '15; Posts: 28; Likes: 16

    84 Comments

  3. by   chare
    Did you per chance ask for help? If not, you might consider this the next time. Also, you really have no idea what he might be doing when you think he is "at a cafe."

    And, as a male nurse, I find this somewhat offensive. It has been my experience, after 20 years as a nurse that this behavior, if he is truly not helpful, applies to nurses of all genders.
  4. by   Sarah2018
    Quote from chare
    Did you per chance ask for help? If not, you might consider this the next time. Also, you really have no idea what he might be doing when you think he is "at a cafe."

    And, as a male nurse, I find this somewhat offensive. It has been my experience, after 20 years as a nurse that this behavior, if he is truly not helpful, applies to nurses of all genders.
    I am seeing him. He doesn't have patient assignment. Only some charting work he does and that's it.
    Of course it doesn't apply to all male nurses.

    So you think I should not complain to the charge nurse?

    I actually asked for help (some forms to fill) today when I could not continue as work was heavy, but he did not say yes or no, just he walked away.
    Later on, when he saw his friend helping me ( I asked his friend ( male nurse) to help me), he came and saw and then went away then he came back and told me he did what I asked him.
  5. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from Sarah2018
    I am seeing him. He doesn't have patient assignment. Only some charting work he does and that's it.
    Of course it doesn't apply to all male nurses.

    So you think I should not complain to the charge nurse?

    I actually asked for help (some forms to fill) today when I could not continue as work was heavy, but he did not say yes or no, just he walked away.
    Later on, when he saw his friend helping me ( I asked his friend ( male nurse) to help me), he came and saw and then went away then he came back and told me he did what I asked him.
    What country are you in?
  6. by   macawake
    Quote from Sarah2018
    There are are male team leaders(only male) at work who do nothing except sitting and talking and joking with staff( but without helping them) as if they are at a cafe.
    Quote from Sarah2018
    They don't answer the calling bells from patients or take heavy patients to toilet.
    Quote from Sarah2018
    Should I email the charge nurse regarding the issue or tell them to move (they are senior in position to me btw)?
    First of all, the title of this thread and the first paragraph makes it sound like laziness is a uniquely male trait. It's not. It's not men who aren't helpful, you have a complaint regarding a specific coworker. I don't think gender ought to be the focus here.

    Since you mention having a charge nurse, I have to ask what a team leader is? What's that person's role/responsibilities? Are they expected to answer call bells and toilet patients? (Where I work we don't have as many tiers in the nursing "chain of command").

    I echo chare's question; did you ask for help?

    No, I don't think you should email your charge nurse. My answer is the same as the last time you asked how to handle a perceived problem with your team leader. I suggest you talk to him directly. Ask him for help if you have a heavy patient or have to deal with a task/situation that requires two persons to perform in a safe manner. I'm referring to safety for either the patient or staff. To minimize the risk for/prevent injury to either party, some situations are best handled by two or more members of staff. Regardless of gender.

    Quote from Sarah2018
    Men are strong and they have bigger lung capacity and they are more powerful than us women yet they refuse to use that physical power.
    I find the notion of male nurses as super heroes or knights in shining armor, blessed with amazing lung capacity (!?) and impressive physical powers and tasked with running to the rescue of the little lady nurses a bit amusing and slightly alien. Perhaps it's a cultural thing, but that's not how I view my male coworkers.

    However, there's a difference between expecting that men do the heavy lifting just because they're male and the expectation that every member of staff behave in a collegial manner. The latter I do expect. We should help each other out.

    Short answer; just talk to your coworker. That should in my opinion always be the first step in the vast majority of situations when some sort of conflict or problem exists. Communicate when you feel overwhelmed and ask for help.

    Best wishes!
  7. by   cleback
    If you email the charge, be careful not to single people or genders out... that would only come back to bite you. Just keep it general "I've noticed teamwork could be improved..." Also I like the suggestion to be straightforward and ask. Try that first. While you may feel that others should just be aware of unit needs and jump in, unfortunately some people still need to be directly asked.
  8. by   klone
    Quote from Sarah2018
    Of course it doesn't apply to all male nurses.
    You LITERALLY entitled this post "men not helpful"

    Why did you make it about men at all?

    Laziness knows no gender boundaries. I'm a chick, and I found this offensive as well.
  9. by   Grobyc82
    I think your being kind of unfair by just labeling men in your post. I know plenty of females that are also lazy and sit and joke around while call lights go off. As a male RN, I try to help the best I can whenever but I have some days where I feel "off" and just can't work as hard as I did say...the first 12 hour shift of the week compared to working the last. Im a proponent of confronting someone directly if you have a problem by either pulling one of them to the side and speaking in a private area. If that doesn't work then just notify whoever is in charge or senior staff.
  10. by   Jedrnurse
    The irony is, that as a guy, I usually do much more than my share of lifting, as I'm the first one to be asked to help others do it. But yeah, I've got to agree about the title of your post. Substitute the word "men" with any other group, and you'd see how offensively it could be taken.
  11. by   FutureNurseInfo
    Just my two cents:

    I am a male. However, I am of average height, and only 140 lbs. I do not work out (I know I should), and I would never try to lift anything heavier than 50 lbs.
  12. by   Mavrick
    Quote from Sarah2018
    Hi guys,


    There are are male team leaders(only male) at work who do nothing except sitting and talking and joking with staff( but without helping them) as if they are at a cafe.


    Yesterday and today were heavy for me, and the team leader despite being free and roaming around as if he is on a picnic, did not help. If my patients are calling and I am busy, he just tells me that one patient called and I should see what he wanted.


    Men are strong and they have bigger lung capacity and they are more powerful than us women yet they refuse to use that physical power.


    They don't answer the calling bells from patients or take heavy patients to toilet.


    What is the best way to handle the issue?


    Should I email the charge nurse regarding the issue or tell them to move(they are senior in position to me btw)?
    This is as sexist a remark as I have ever heard on this board.

    This post is totally insulting to men describing male leadership as those who do nothing at work but sit, talk and joke. Then you think it's your place to "tell them to move".

    This thread is asking for trouble.
  13. by   canoehead
    You aren't having a male/female issue. You're having a lazy bum/team player issue.

    You are going to have people that stand around at the desk at every job you take. Pointing it out to them just makes them less likely to help. Telling them what wonderful team players they are will get the most work out of them, if you can say it without your face curling up like you bit a lemon. (I can't, so I just suck it up and do my own thing.)
  14. by   Alex Egan
    Ahhh... you see my wife and many other woman (see how that sexism felt there) I have met suffer from this issue.

    What you have done is mistook your coworker for a mind reader. You assume that he should notice your assignment is heavy, you assume that he should know exactly how and when to help you, and he should know all this with no direct input from you.

    Now that's not saying your leader isnt lazy that's another issue entirely. However if you don't directly ask for help, then you can't really complain about not getting it can you. Furthermore when you directly asked for help you did get it, just not exactly when you wanted it.

    Be clear, what you need, when you need it, and how it's helping.

    For example I had a hard time getting help from my boss. I tell him "I need help on the floor during changeover" he would appear, do some tasks I didn't really need, and leave before the hard part started. I changed my request. " Boss. Changover is gonna crazy today because station 8 and 4 got on late. I need you to come out at 0930 and terminate station 6 and turn it over. Then please make sure the tech is doing ok, and assess the second shift station 10 because she gets started early and I won't be able to get over to assess her before we're over the allotted time. Thanks!

    Much better results with the second one. Give it a try, also try narrowing it into a yes or no question, to make sure the commitment to help is there.

    Good luck.

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