The other night as I worked triage (which I hate) in our ER, a patient came up and signed in "sexual matter emergency." I had a sick baby in triage at the time so I elected to let him wait for a couple of minutes. When it was his turn, I thought, this better be an emergency (we were slammed with mva's and an ami. This gentleman proceded to explain how he had a large lug nut stuck on his penis:roll :roll secondary to sexual experimentation suggested by his girlfriend.
He proceeded to explain how it had been on for 12 hours. He had attempted to remove it with a metal grinder
My problem, I literally had to bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from falling in the floor laughing (which I and the whole er staff did later do). Anyone got any ideas how to be professional in the face of such agonizing emergent trauma?
p.s. we sent him to a university hospital for surgical removal (of the lug nut:wink2: ) and no, I couldn't keep a straight face calling report either.