It's all good except for...

  1. So. I'm the only male nurse on a 25 bed med-surg ward and I get along with almost everyone except ONE nurse. I've only been a RN for 11 weeks and she was my preceptor. She has no patience and while she was precepting me, she'd often be short tempered and treat me like an idiot at the smallest of learning mistakes. (I've been in health care for 27 years prior to coming to nursing and have a BA in business) I have been told not to quit by two other RNs when they recognized the tension and frustration she was causing me. I'm off orientation and have received accolades for my performance from other nurses but she is also the charge nurse and I'm afraid she is just waiting for me to make a mistake. Anyone else experience this? Any advise?
    Last edit by Estateboy on Oct 15
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    About Estateboy, RN, EMT-P Pro

    Joined: Apr '18; Posts: 24; Likes: 36


  3. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from Estateboy
    She has no patients and while she was precepting me, she'd often lose her patients and treat me like an idiot.
    What does that even mean? They died? Did she treat you like an idiot, or did you just feel like one?

    Quote from Estateboy
    (I've been in health care for 27 years prior to coming to nursing and have a BA in business)
    These are not things to focus on. You are a new nurse.

    Quote from Estateboy
    I have been told not to quit by two other RNs when they recognized the tension and frustration she was causing me.
    People who talk to you about her probably also talk to her about you. You're not wise to trust them. Make sure you say only positive things if you feel the need to talk at all.

    Quote from Estateboy
    Any advise?
    Do your job. Be humble. You need this charge nurse more than she needs you. If you find you can't make it work after some time, look for work elsewhere.
  4. by   VampyrSlayer
    I think he meant "patience". Took me a couple of times reading it to get it.

    OP, would it help to talk to her directly?
  5. by   Sour Lemon
    Quote from VampyrSlayer
    I think he meant "patience". Took me a couple of times reading it to get it.
    That makes a lot more sense. I think you're right. I was thinking that she didn't have her own assignment and that the patients they had together wandered off or died "often" ...strange situation when you look at it that way.
  6. by   Newgradnurse17
    I had this happen to me too. Remain professional. Do you job well. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Stay out of her way, but also don't let her stop you doing your job. You will have to work with her, she is charge after all. There's no reason why you both can't be profession. It might just be a personality clash if every one seems to think your doing well. I wouldn't talk to her, feel that would make things worse, if the only thing she done is lose her patience with you.

    Keep going. Things will get better. No matter where you work, you going to have to work with staff you don't get along with.
  7. by   Estateboy
    "patients" ****! maybe I am an idiot. The original post has been edited. FYI
    Last edit by Estateboy on Oct 15
  8. by   Kitiger
    Quote from Estateboy
    "patients" ****! maybe I am an idiot.
    I'm guessing that this was from an over-eager spell checker program.
  9. by   JKL33
    Don't go looking for trouble. I realize she has already caused you some stress, but how you handle it could very well have an effect on where it goes from here. Be pleasant and professional with her. Work on this rapport over time - not by "trying too hard" with her, but by engaging her as a professional from whom you could learn. Don't avoid her, don't display frustration around her if at all humanly possible. Don't talk about her with coworkers. And don't let her see you sweat (keep emotional reactions in check). Just play it cool. Try to learn from her if/when the opportunity arises. Don't expect the worst; that has an uncanny way of becoming self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Best of luck ~
  10. by   Night__Owl
    There are multiple ways to handle this. In my case, I changed shifts where I would not be working under that charge nurse, at least until I got my feet on the ground and became confident enough to fend for myself, and stand up for myself if needed.
  11. by   martaatl
    I experienced something similar as a new nurse, except it wasn't the charge nurse,but a clique
    of nurses that included the asst.Charge nurse.Not everyone on the floor was included in the clique
    and it wasn't about my work but petty things such as not informing when I was going on an assigned lunch/break,
    arriving 10minutes late to work etc.They asst.chg nurse went along with the clique and complained to the chg. nurse
    who was very wise and stated it was trivial B.S.Address her directly or leave it alone.This was a busy step-down unit floor
    and we had a majority of cab. pts.I chose to go to another shift on the same unit and eventually transfer to another floor.
    Best decision I ever made because I was there for 5urs, no problem with any staff members.The clique eventually got the chg.nurse ousted
    and even tried to block my transfer, however I had many compliments and no complaints from the evening chg. nurse.It really does matter who you work with, one toxic individual can create an unpleasant work enviroment and if it's the charge nurse run don't walk away as soon as you can.I have seen
    many good nurses reputations shredded due to a toxic charge nurse.
  12. by   kbrn2002
    Some people, even nurses are jerks. If only one nurse is giving you problems, then the problem is that nurse and not you. Meanwhile, thanks for the typo. I was getting a good and much needed case of the giggles picturing a nurse with no patients getting some patients and then losing them. Boy, if I could always lose my patients that would sure make my job a lot easier!
  13. by   Ms Kylee
    I had the same problem. I was new to ICU and I swear my preceptor hated me on sight. According to her, I could do nothing right, yet when I was given a new peceptor when she called off, I did fine. 36 hours a week of being told how awful I was, I talked to my unit manager, and told her I didn't think ICU was a good fit for me. Unfortunately, there were no other nurses available to precept mebecause the ICU did a mass hiring due to retirements. I gave back the signing bonus and walked away.
  14. by   Farawyn
    Why did you feel the need to mention you're a male?