I really do not get it!

erroridiot · Jun 12, 2010

I have a question from everyone,
how should I approach this to the manager? I have not e-mailed her but when I talk about this I get really emotional and I cry, and I promised myself I would not cry at work.

Someone needs to go in there and tell the "manager" to send the disturbed, pathetic, borderline staff members to ________________ .

a. summer camp

b. a day at the spa

c. boot camp

d. Siberia

If an adverse event occurs involving a patient because of the behavior of the staff, they will put you on the chopping block. Middle management is not a good position to be in when the staff are pathetic and the "management" does not back you up.

The place sounds toxic and dangerous. Write up every incident and keep it to yourself. When you have safely landed in a new job, turn it all over to the authorities of choice.

You can get a better job than that!

Zen123 · Jun 12, 2010

Some people just need to take their "medication" PLEASE! before coming to work :uhoh3: or start taking something! :smokin:

Please take something!

I often say they need to do a Psych Evals:coollook: in School before they get released! Umm yep.

labrador4122, RN · Jun 12, 2010

Just a suggestion:
Before the day you go to work and plan on discussing this to your manager, on the night before -- maybe you should go in front of a mirror and practice crying. Let it all out and then you'll feel better afterwards. The next day, since you're all cried out --- there won't be any tears left for you to be emotional about. Actually, you might just feel like a cardboard and won't feel anything while you're talking to your manager. Hence, you'll think better with your words. Then, you'll be able to communicate more effectively too.
But, then of course... you'll have the puffy eyes to deal with, while you talk to your manager.
Get rid of your emotions, you'll probably think better.

That is honestly a really good suggestion. I was physically and emotionally abused as a young child by the woman who my mom paid to raise me..... and when people are mean to me, I cry because I don't know how else to cope besides just spending time with myself alone. I feel like when I am alone and away from the person who is hurting my feelings I feel better.

Thanks very much for the great suggestion.

Zana2 · Jun 12, 2010

Think of what you want versus what they want. You want to put your point across, appear proffessional, responsible, show leadership etc. They want you to lose the plot, be an emotional wreck etc.

Don't give them the satisfaction. Be the grown up. You got where you are through hard work, didn't do it for the wrong reasons, your heart is in the right place. Have a list of problems to show your manager, explain how you thought these problems might be solved and be ready to 'admit' that maybe you should have taken advantage of her experience before implementing them, you'll know next time.

For puffy eyes I thoroughly recommend Clinique all about eyes and YSL touche eclat :lol2: .

Pull yourself together and get on with it.

lkwashington · Jun 12, 2010

I'm with you. I just spent two years working towards my promotion, and all my co-workers knew what it meant to me. I even got two certifications on the way because I was so determined. I got the promotion I desired and I've been in the job precisely 3 weeks and was not told that my job has been taken away from me because my coworkers don't like my style of management. My style of management consists of doing the right thing and expecting everyone to step up to the plate and take responsibility. I tried to clean house but all I've had in the past 3 weeks is constant whining that there are too many demands placed upon them. It's funny how everyone else seems to have a say on my career except me. All that work for nothing. So much to say and so few willing to do. Now planning a new future somewhere else. Just feel so betrayed.

When you have co workers as friends this may cause problems when you are trying to better yourself by earning a promotion, degree, and/or certifications. Some co workers are jealous and dont like change. It was very unprofessional your job was taken from you without notice. You seem to have good realistic goals but how did you go about making changes? The work you did was not for nothing. You may have to go to another facility where no one knows you to grow and have a new start in management. Hoping you have a great future. Dont feel betrayed. Management is a challenge. If it is too easy is not worth it. Good luck to you.

lkwashington · Jun 12, 2010

leslie - your quote, "it is tragic that it is the way it is.
acting honorably and virtuously in nursing, often ends up biting you in the butt." rings so true for me. As a new/old grad looking for a 3rd job, i've learned I must keep my head down learn, kiss butt, and don't offer to help anybody but myself, and worry only about my job, and patients just have to wait so I can just keep a job. This is so not who I am and so not how I work. I am beginning to hate nursing.

I rather be bitten in the butt then kissing butts. While I am being bitten I will hold my head high. I am not going to say I wouldnt offer help to anyone but I would make sure I will cover my a$$. Yes that would be worrying about keeping my job because I know someone else will be waiting for it someone who is doing the butt kissing. This is who I am. I dont believe you hate nursing. I think you just hate some of the people in the profession.

lkwashington · Jun 12, 2010

I just graduated and got my first job at the beginning of the year, and boy was I in for a crash course in reality. I saw nurses as good natured, giving, caring, nurturing, loving etc etc. While I have met a FEW nurse that fit that description, mainly its not true. I have seen them be so nice to a fellow co-worker to their face, and then say the meanest things about them on their day off (I mean honestly laughing about them behind their back in a group). They don't seem to get that on their next day off they will be the butt of the joke. I have seen them set each other up just so the person doing the setting up can say "see what she did". Its horrible !!!! Before nursing I worked in business managment, and I have NEVER seen such petty, unprofessional, immature behavior in my adult life. It amazes me that hospitals, and the managment who there allow it. If I were in managment I would fire me some nurses.

I totally agree with you. But let me school you on something real quick. Some of these nurses setting others up for failure believe or not managers are in on it. Some nurses are informants. Trying to get nurses to tell on each other and the managers do not realize it is causing problems on the unit they are managing. Some nurse managers feel as long they have a body on the floor they dont have work the floor. If you are at work just sit back and observe your nurse manager sometimes. Just a thought.

lkwashington · Jun 12, 2010

Originally Posted by leslie :-D

sadly, i do have to agree that i would not recommend nsg to anyone, anymore.

leslie

I feel this way sometimes. Nursing is a great profession. It is just the people who are practicing nursing. I tell others I love what I do. I also explain to them what type of nursing I work with on a daily basis. You have to go into the profession with reality not ideality. Be honest and tell others what it is really like.

lkwashington · Jun 12, 2010

i really do not get why in the world some nurses have to be so mean to other co-workers.
it's called pms, menopause, not getting any/enough sex, or simply --- b*t** syndrome. apparently, the syndrome occurs in both males, females, and anyone in-between !
sometimes, it is better working with men. women seem to have more mood swings than men? why is that? lol. . . maybe because women think less about sex? --- compared to men? at least, this is the theory from one of my gay friends. but then again, he is a guy. so,what would he know about women? --->> except fashion sense and "sex and the city" episodes, and shoes!
i agree. i love working with men. they can be nurses, rt, pt, and/or ot. i have to realize jealousy is a female trait. i treat them accordingly. dont let you right hand know what your left hand is doing.

lkwashington · Jun 12, 2010

Some people just need to take their "medication" PLEASE! before coming to work or start taking something!
Please take something!
I often say they need to do a Psych Evals:coollook: in School before they get released! Umm yep.

If they do Psych Evals in school everyone would fail because school would stress you out and the other things going on your life. There are several of nurses taking Psych meds.

kcochrane · Jun 12, 2010

Not every workplace is like this. Granted in any job you will get the nasty ones. But I recently started working at a hospital and the people I work with are great. I occasionally get a snappy answer, but it is usually during moments of stress - which is to be expected. Now my last job was filled with some mean people, but the nice ones made if worthwhile.

I'm not really sure if talking to your NM will help. I found that the environment is usually set by the NM. It took me awhile to get used to the "mean girls" and deal with them. They do not bother me anymore. I love nursing and they will not ruin for me. :)

erroridiot · Jun 12, 2010

I'm not really sure if talking to your NM will help. I found that the environment is usually set by the NM. It took me awhile to get used to the "mean girls" and deal with them. They do not bother me anymore.

Talking with the "manager" could actually be a destructive situation. The manager is responsible for the mess, has set up the dynamics and has created the situation you find yourself in. She has her own agenda. That agenda may be known or unknown to her on a conscious level. She makes a mess and sets up someone else to take the fall for it. That makes the manager one very mean person. She could be very manipulative even though her management skills and knowledge base are probably poor at best. I would not meet with her at all.