I did something stupid... no, embarrassing and stupid - page 7

Okay, first I want to make it clear that this is not a thread about religion. Please, let's not discuss our personal views of religion, that isn't my topic. Here is my problem. I have two... Read More

  1. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I respect cultural difference, but i have a severe problem with an adult marrying a 13 or 14 year old child.
  2. by   Nurse Ratched
    Mod note: a number of posts completely extraneous to the original topic (and resulting in several TOS violations) were removed to avoid having to close it entirely.
  3. by   czeafer32
    You know here in the place where I am working with right now , that issue of multiple marriages is not a big deal . Because it is already a part of their culture to marry as many as they can provided that they will be able to support all their wives . And they are all fair with all the wives , whatever the husband gave to the first wife he should as well give to the second or third wives . I think its better for you to use the term FIRST WIFE OR SECOND WIFE . It is according who is the first in his life , eventhough the husband is still living with both .
    Quote from AzMichelle
    It isn't the family you are thinking of, but they are likely neighbors. Yes, this is Colorado City, Arizona. You know, I really haven't come across them in all these years. They don't meander to the valley much.

    They aren't just in Arizona/Utah anymore. They are building a huge city in Texas now and they are also in Mexico. But yes, they are always near a border to escape if need be.

    The woman I was talking to today told me if I were to Google Mormons and 1953 (I think I recall the year correctly) I would find a great deal of information about when the gov't went into their city and took all the children. They wanted to adopt them out to various families but didn't have families available. So they ended up putting them in SNFs for lack of anywhere else to place them. After two years and various court battles they got their children back.

    I do plan on researching this, I'm interested in how that all played out.

    I realized today how very ignorant I am of these folks. I had no idea the women worked, I thought they were all 'stay at home' Moms. One of the ladies I work with has some pretty strong opinions due to her time in Colorado City and she feels the women are abused and nothing more. She wasn't permitted to give many of them medical care because she is a woman. The husbands wanted a smart person caring for their wives, you know... a man.

    I want first hand info. I want to learn more about this so I don't face another embarrassing moment like today.
  4. by   ProfRN4
    It's probably been said already, but there is something that we need to consider: this is the only life that these people know. This is what their parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and peers are living. Why would they think there is something wrong with this, unless an outside influence tells them otherwise? I am in no way condoning or defending their actions, but we need to consider this. If you are of the belief that father (or mother) knows best, and your teachers, clergy and everyone else you come in contact with is living this lifestyle, why would you think there is something wrong with it?

    I am not at all familiar with this lifestyle (living in New YorkCity), but as you can imagine, I am in contact with many other 'lifestyles' that are not reflective of my own. When it comes to religion, there is so much diversity in my community. And how do you explain that to a child? I hope I do not offend, but if a child asks the question "which is right" and you are of the firm belief that yours is right, then how do you explain that to your child? Sure you can say 'this is what mommy and daddy believe", but how do you make it convincing enough? If you practice a religion where you 'dress the part', what do you tell your child when they want to expose their hair, or arms and legs, because their classmates do? Just some food for thought.
  5. by   futuregaspasser
    I actually go to school in their city on the Utah/Arizona boarder. They call themselves sister-wives. It does become very difficult in certain situations. I work in the OR and we have to have a parent with minors (under 18), and a parent signature on the consent form. One time we had a 15 year old female come in with her "husband", but they were not legally married as she was not the first wife. So he could not sign for consent to surgery and neither could she legally. We also had a young boy come in with his "sister-mom" his biological mom had gone home (over an hour away). Same situation, she could not sign or give consent. She was very upset that we were persistant for his bio mom (or dad).

    I understand they have different religious points of view, but they need to figure a way to abide by the laws we ALL have to follow. I am not trying to be predjudice here, as I said, I go to school in their city and know many of them. But please don't be upset with US when we are just following the legal guidlines when it comes to medical care.