husband busts my bubble - page 3

I just finished my 1st quarter of the most intense school work I've ever enountered for my LPN program. I'm the oldest student in my class, so needless to say I really had to struggle through all my... Read More

  1. by   Chiaramonte
    I personally have found that all the trials and hardships I have endured throughout my life have made me more empathetic to others. If there is a plus to this hardship you're living through is that it will make you stronger. You do need to take care of your own emotional and physical needs. Rely on the support of your friends...

    There really has been some great points made here...don't have much more to add except you and your husband are in my good thoughts and prayers.
  2. by   Katnip
    I haven't read every single post thoroughly, so I don't know if anyone has made this suggestion yet:

    Have you looked into support groups online? I'm sure they must be out there. If you can get a local chapter's name they may have an online group or know of one.

    Are there any neighboring ranchers who have teens who might help out with the ranch chores a few hours a week? I know next to nothing about ranching, but it seems neighbors are neighbors and will often help out.

    What about friends of your husband? Do they still come around?

    Just a few suggestions, but like it's been said already, you DO need to take care of yourself first.

    BIG BIG HUGS from Maryland.
  3. by   Love-A-Nurse
  4. by   sphinx
    I was glad to read your post that the doctor suggested home PT. I would also see if the doctor would order home OT to teach him adaptation to learn to do basic ADL's on his own, there are a lot of things people can do on their own with proper tools and education. Also, when there is a skilled home care need, be it nursing or therapy, he should qualify for an aide. At least where I am from. Also, where I live, if you have medicaid (not medicare) you don't even need to have a skilled need to get an aide. Our medicaid patients are entitled to an aide regardless, and usually can get more hours than any of our other patients as well. We have many patients who are on service for aides only, the nurse only goes out every 2 weeks to do an aide supervision. This is wonderful for our long term chronic patients, as on medicare, you can only be on homecare doing an acute phase of your illness/treatment. One caveat to the medicaid issue: I don't know where you are, but here, there has been a big push to get a lot of medicaid recipients into the medicaid HMO program. These people are entitled to much less, at least in terms of homecare benefits. We have to get prior approvals for all visits, and the goal is to get them independent and off service as soon as possible. If they are entitled to an aide, there definintely has to be a skilled nursing/therapy need, and it is always short term only (usally only 2-4 aide visits depending on dx).

    I hope you can get some help, because you do need to carve out some time for yourself. Our agency also provides a certified psych nurse, who I often get even the most reluctant client to see, just to "talk". Of course there is always social work, who can assist in counseling as well as a variety of other issues. Even recommend support groups, etc that you may never have known existed, if so inclined.

    You need to take care of yourself, and if your hubby needs convincing of this, tell him you can't take good care of him unless you take care of yourself first. you are doing yourself no favors by burning your candles at both ends, and are doing him no favors in the end. You are likely to just burn out, and I'd hate to see that happen. I can tell you are frusrarted (understandably) but you seem to genuinely care.

    Best of luck in working through all this-continue to post and vent as needed, and keep us posted in how things are going!!!!

  5. by   Hooligan
    You and your husband should check out the "Society for Disability Studies" SDS . There are also some great magazines/journals out there too..."Ragged Edge" & "New Mobility" to name a couple. Did you know that there are Master's and Ph.D. programs out there now dedicated to Disability Studies (the Dept. of Disabilities & Human Developent at the University of Illinois at Chicago and the University of Toledo has a program too...). There's so much information out there now... anyway, I just thought this information may be helpful! The SDS website has a ton of information on it...Also check out the journal "Disabilty Studies Quarterly" (DSQ). ]DSQ[/URL] ...

  6. by   traumaRUs
    Gosh - like all the other posters - I'm astounded you're still sane!!! Please, please take some time for you - get some counseling even if your hubby won't go. As to help when you are gone, how about a college or high school student?
  7. by   BBFRN
    I agree with all of the above, and my heart goes out to both of you!!!
  8. by   LaVorneRN
    You are very welcome. There is power in prayer and when we feel we want to do something to help someone prayer is the most powerful thing one can do. And there are many of us gathering in prayer for you and your husband so please be encouraged. You are one of the reasons I hang around here. Peace and blessingsXXXOOO
  9. by   ktwlpn
    This is the thread to represent what this board truly is....Hugs to all......
  10. by   jadednurse
    It's hard enough to be a caregiver to total strangers day in and day out, but to be a nurse all day (or all night, as the case may be!) and then come home and care for a loved is truly physically and emotionally draining. I think it's hard for those who are not in the nursing profession to really understand. In fact, I've had my share of people who say "well, that's the profession you chose, it goes with the territory." Other professions do have their stresses, admittedly ones I would never be adept at handling smoothly, but the stress inherent in nursing and other healthcare professions is unique. You need to vent and talk about your situation...and don't feel guilty for it! At the end of the day you can truly say that what you do truly matters! To reiterate what others have so eloquantly stated: you are an inspiration...even to this jadednurse! One day at a time...
  11. by   perfectbluebuildings
    You are in my prayers thatldo. I have enough trouble with nursing school without that much outside responsibility. It's easy to see your compassion and caring and strength will make you such an awesome nurse. but please, like everyone else has said-take care of yourself too!!
  12. by   RNPD
    Lots of good advice and support here! And I am so glad you are getting some help with the physical aspects of your husband's care.

    I was quite concerned at your description of his s/s when he was stuck on the commode for 2 hours. I am assuming he is a paraplegic with a spinal cord injury of some type. Any noxious stimuli below the level iof his injury can cause autonomic dysreflexia, characterized by extreme hypertension, among other s/s. It can be life threatening and is a medical emergency. Please discuss the occurance with your husband's doc to be sure that you know how to respond if this should occur and how to try to prevent it.

    Godd luck with your studies!