Funny things patients say

Nurses General Nursing

Published

Specializes in Registered Nurse.

The other day, I had someone say,..."That's my ****, referring to a spot on the floor dark in color. LOL!

I am sure you all have tons of them! :yes:

One lady woke up, said "I spy with my little eye..." and then went straight back to sleep. I'm glad she was at least having a fun dream.

I was told "You have a fine bosom, dear!" by a little old lady. :/

I was also told "The eyes

are windows to the soul, and you are the devil"

Another little old lady.

*sigh*

Specializes in Registered Nurse.

One very elderly lady once told me, 'Don't touch my (her) breasts!....' (I was trying to get her ready for bed and was removing her blouse, I think)... because,'... that is how you get cancer!" and she was angry.

Specializes in Registered Nurse.
I was also told "The eyes

are windows to the soul, and you are the devil"

Another little old lady.

*sigh*

Yeah. lol I had one or two tell me something similar when I was just trying to help them into or out of bed...or something simple like that.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
One lady woke up, said "I spy with my little eye..." and then went straight back to sleep. I'm glad she was at least having a fun dream.

Was this lady, Far? Lol.

Specializes in Registered Nurse.

You are going to be arrested! That seems like a popular one from the very confused.

Specializes in Emergency Nursing.

I had a bad case of the hiccups after lunch one day (because you know we scarf our lunches down lol) and was hooking a patient to the heart monitor. As I was doing so, I continued to hiccup. Loudly. The mean little patient looked up at me and said; "You know what hiccups mean, right." I said; "That I ate too fast?" She stated; "Nope. It means you're getting fat and need to lose weight."

So more mean than funny. The funny part is how rude people can be.

I was transferring one LOL from her wheel chair to a recliner, and she said, "Oh, I'm really close to your boobs! That'd be a cozy, warm place to snuggle up!" :wideyed:

I was transferring one LOL from her wheel chair to a recliner, and she said, "Oh, I'm really close to your boobs! That'd be a cozy, warm place to snuggle up!" :wideyed:

The old biddies are obsessed with the (insert rhyming word for boobs that starts with a t)

Specializes in Critical care.

I brought in my post-op heart pts Lipitor the other day, and was going through the name/side effects etc, when he interrupts and says "Lipitor? That thing should be called Gigantor!"

Cheers

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